The 22-year-old rapper discussed how Miller’s death has impacted him during a recent podcast interview.
The death of hip-hop artist Mac Miller (born Malcolm James McCormick) has left many of his fans devastated, including fellow rapper Lil Xan, who has claimed that he will retire in the wake of his peer’s passing.
In a recent appearance on a podcast, Leanos states that the news of McCormick’s death left him “crying in [his] apartment” and unwilling to “make music no more” [sic]. McCormick’s death, from what authorities have described as an apparent overdose, also gave Leanos pause to consider his own drug use and mental health issues, which he said he would be addressing in rehab if he did not have upcoming tour dates.
Speaking live on Adam22’s podcast No Jumper on September 8—one day after McCormick was found dead in his home in Studio City, California—Leanos said that he was overwhelmed by the news. “I’ve been crying in my apartment, ‘Mac didn’t die, Mac didn’t overdose,”” he said.
He also recalled the last time he saw McCormick, which happened to be at the rapper’s final performance at the Hotel Café in Los Angeles shortly before his death. “Before I left, he was like, ‘Be safe,'” said Leanos. “People say that, you know: ‘Be safe.’ But he grabbed me, and he pulled me back, and he was like, ‘No, I mean, BE SAFE.’ That almost made me cry. That’s my idol right there. I keep thinking about that—how it resonated in my head, how those were his last words.”
According to Leanos, the experience of McCormick’s words, followed by the news of his death, left him unwilling to continue his music career. “When your hero dies, f—k that s—t,” he said. “I don’t want to make music no more.” After the completion of his current recording contract, Leanos claimed that he planned to retire, though he did not elaborate on this particular decision.
McCormick’s death also put Leanos in a reflective mood regarding his own substance use. His use of Xanax—the drug that gave him his stage name—and opiates like Norco have been well-publicized in the past, but in his No Jumper interview, Leanos suggested that he continued to struggle with sobriety.
“I want to get sober now, completely sober, but it’s so hard,” he told Adam22, whose real name is Adam Grandmaison. “I just want to be off everything. I want to be like a normal person. If I didn’t have a tour coming up, I would be in rehab right now.”
