Author: The Fix

Selma Blair Celebrates Two Years Of Sobriety

“I prayed for a miracle at my lowest points. I am a living miracle. Thank you,” the actress wrote in an Instagram post.

Actress Selma Blair had two reasons to celebrate this week: her 46th birthday as well as her second year of sobriety.

Blair, who has starred in films including Hellboy and Legally Blonde, took to Instagram to announce her achievement.

“2 years sober. 2 years feeling everything and nothing. 2 years of extreme gratitude and humility and grace,” she wrote in her post, which included a photograph of herself with a birthday cake. “I thank the lord and my friends. Thank you for the most special birthday week @fran.anania #amypines #arthursaintbleick.”

Just last month, Blair admitted to having struggled with alcoholism, anxiety, and depression, but has been winning in her struggles as of late.

“I prayed for a miracle at my lowest points. I am a living miracle. Thank you. Thank you. #birthdaygirl #almost46 #summersolstice #grace,” she wrote in her post.

Blair hasn’t hid her struggles with depression and anxiety from fans. In a throwback post she wrote in May, she reflected on her career in Hollywood, including the highs and the lows.

“For better or for worse. I want to have hope again. I want to thank you all for believing in me. I want to find the right work for me. And for me as a mom and as a woman who has come so far in personal ways,” she wrote in her May post. “I want to make us all proud. 21 years later. #heartonsleeve Opens a New Window. It’s a random Tuesday. Maybe miracles will happen.”

The Cruel Intentions star once had a meltdown on an airplane flight, allegedly brought on by mixing medications with alcohol.

“I made a big mistake yesterday,” said Blair after the incident. “After a lovely trip with my son and his dad, I mixed alcohol with medication, and that caused me to black out and led me to say and do things that I deeply regret.”

A few months after the incident, Blair gained some new perspective on the incident.

“Hopefully everyone on the plane is doing fine now too, because it was very destructive,” she said on The Talk. “I am someone who should never drink, and I rarely do, and I don’t drink anymore, but I was going through something. I had a glass of wine and someone gave me a pill that I thought was something that I’d taken before… it was something completely different… and I had a total psychotic blackout.”

View the original article at thefix.com

25 June 2018
Korn's Jonathan Davis Talks Addiction: "Benzos Are The Devil"

“I’ve dealt with anxiety for a long-ass time. I got prescribed Xanax, benzodiazepine, a long time ago. Benzos are the f—ing devil. They’re horrible drugs.”

Jonathan Davis, the frontman of the metal band Korn, puts his struggles with drugs and anxiety front and center in a song on his debut solo album, Black Labyrinth.

In a new interview with Forbes, he spoke frankly about how attempting to treat his anxiety with drugs like Xanax led him to a dark place.

“I’ve dealt with anxiety for a long-ass time. I got prescribed Xanax, benzodiazepine, a long time ago. Benzos are the f—ing devil. They’re horrible drugs,” he explained. “They feel good at the moment and are a quick fix to get you out of a panic attack, but they’re not designed to be taken long-term—especially Xanax.”

His song on the album, “Medicate,” is about kicking the benzo dependency he developed.

“I started taking it for anxiety. I’d take a piece in the morning and a piece at night, then go to bed. You start to build up a resistance,” he recounted. “Two years later and I was trying to kick it. The song is about me dealing with common regrets, that I need this pill to be happy or stay sane.”

Getting off it was difficult—and dangerous.

“I started off taking 0.25 milligrams of it, and eventually I got up to 2 milligrams, that’s one bar a day. And eventually I got up to two bars a day later down the road,” he told Forbes. “But the first time I kicked it, I was doing a bar a day, and I slowly weaned down. Which, you cannot function. And if you don’t do it correctly, if you just stop cold turkey off of it, you can go into seizures and die.”

Nowadays, Davis is living completely sober, and getting high in a different way—sensory deprivation at the center of the Ganzfield experiment.

“It’s a drug-free hallucination,” Davis says. “You’re staring into your subconscious. To me, it proved that there’s something different out there than what we’ve been taught about God. You see colors and shapes. It’s like you’re staring at the inside of your brain.”

He also calms himself down with video games, music, and spending time with his children. His band seems to have caught the clean-living bug, too.

“We just all independently faced our demons. There’s not really any drinking going on in the band anymore,” Davis explained. “It happens, every band that’s been doing it this long. Eventually you need to stop, or you’re gonna die. Everybody got through it their own way.”

View the original article at thefix.com

25 June 2018
Embracing Pride and the LGBT+ Community in Recovery

“The sense of having two selves was the root of my addiction, especially in the beginning. It was exhausting to play a role I didn’t want.”

Ten years ago, I was both terrified and ecstatic to go to my first ever LGBT Pride Parade. I knew that I was attracted to both men and women, but I had always kept this hidden. Being raised in the Catholic Church and in a conservative town, I was told it was a sin to act upon “homosexual desires.” To smooth out the edges of my mental tug of war, I took pulls of vodka and chased it with cherry Sprite.

Broadway was bursting with vibrant seas of color and glitter. Rainbow flags replaced American flags, much to the dismay of the town bigots. A float rolled by with drag queens dressed like Beyoncé and Dolly Parton, hair teased as big as their ta-tas. Then I heard the roar of Harley Davidsons as a throng of denim-clad lesbians cruised by with signs that said, “DYKES ON BIKES.” Next, another group chanted: “hey-hey, ho-ho, homophobia has got to go!”

I know this all sounds like a stereotypical version of Pride, but this was truly how it appeared to me as a newbie. Over time, I began to peel apart the layers and examine the nuances within the community. Pride showed me the power of embracing and celebrating your identity, even when it is associated with stigma, discrimination, and stereotypes. I realized that Pride gave me kindling for my desire to fight stigma, even long before I was in recovery.

*

As author of My Fair Junkie and Fix Contributor Amy Dresner wrote in (Re) Claiming Language: “I think the addiction/recovery movement needs to model itself on the gay rights movement and be vocal, out there, shameless and visible: parades, glitter, boas. Bring it all on.”

After admiring Dresner’s writing for years on The Fix, then her memoir, I finally had the courage to message her. She sent me a kind response and we had an amazing actual phone conversation! Okay, I swear that my fan-girling has a point. She also spoke with me in more depth about the parallels between our communities: the stigma, the struggle with health issues like HIV, Hepatitis C, and losing friends to overdoses or suicides. Amy can speak to these similarities since she has experience with the LGBT+ community in L.A. “Even though I’m straight, I often attend and speak at LBGT meetings. I like the vibe there. They feel more real and more celebratory. They get my humor and irreverence. I feel like I can be more open about my crystal meth use and being promiscuous without them judging me, because they’ve been there too,” she said. We also share an immediate kinship with each other over burrowing our way from the trenches to light.

*

My first small-town Pride parade only lasted fifteen glorious minutes. After all, my city, Fargo, was famous for the Coen brother’s cult classic film and being the highest binge drinking city in the country, not LGBT rights. I wandered to a beer garden for another Pride event. A girl with hot pink hair asked for my signature for a human rights petition. I signed and wanted to flirt with her, but I realized that I didn’t know how. At the line in the bathroom, a woman noticed that I was shaking with anxiety and offered me a little blue pill she said was Xanax.

“This will help chill you out,” She said. It worked. She led me down the street to the only gay bar, where scantily clad men grinded to Katy Perry under pulsing neon lights. Later that night, I drunkenly wrote in my journal: “we’re here, we’re queer. We’re junkies and drunkies.” I also realized that alcohol and pills were the easiest way for me to “break bread,” in the LGBT community. They were magical potions that could teleport me from being an outsider to an insider, give me the courage to flirt with women, to numb the shame. I’m not alone. For many, Pride and being part of the queer community is synonymous with drinking and drug use.

Charlie* is a 24-year-old graduate student who is bisexual and is ambiguously trans. They are from a school district in Minnesota with the one of the highest suicide rates in the country. At their high-school, gay and “gay-coded” students were bullied, peed on, and called faggots. Charlie said, “For myself, the intersections of addiction and LGBT identity are so complex. It’s so ingrained in our daily lives, in our community lives. Our history. We weren’t given the social or political power to have public space. So, bars and underground clubs were our space…so addiction can sometimes become a learned behavior. For me, it was alcohol. I used it to suppress my identity.”

According to a 2015 study by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Service Administration (SAMHSA), 30 percent of LGBT people struggle with some form of addiction compared to 9 percent of the heterosexual population. Bisexual women and trans people face the highest risk of drug use and abuse.

I spoke with a 30 something freelance writer from the Midwest named Morgan, who said she had known she was “next-level” gay long before she even knew the word. “The sense of having two selves was the root of my addiction, especially in the beginning. It was exhausting to play a role I didn’t want. I think it was originally a combination of easing the pain of not being able to love the people I loved openly and resentment toward the society I felt excluded me. There was an ease and confidence about being my true self when I was drunk though.”

Charlie said they have managed their drinking without the help of outside groups, but if they did need one they would prefer an LGBT-oriented recovery group. Meanwhile, Morgan lives in an area that does not have LGBT meetings. Morgan said she felt very uncomfortable at her first 12-step meeting and definitely didn’t feel comfortable disclosing that she is lesbian, because her home is near the birthplace of the notoriously bigoted Westboro Baptist Church. Her first meeting “was full of a Confederate-flag wearing, chain smoking old school crowd that didn’t have much experience with LGBTQI people.”

What about people who want to connect with other queer folks in recovery, but live in a rural area or don’t connect with 12-step meetings? I spoke with Tracy Murphy, who is lesbian and founded a blog called LGBTeetotaler, which aims to “create community and visibility for queer and trans people in all forms of recovery.” Murphy is an inspiring example of the power of connection through the internet, which she said is “life-changing.”

“Many times, when I’m dealing with cis hetero members of my recovery community, I end up feeling like I’m doing education while I’m also just trying to process an experience I’ve had… Having a group of queers to reach out to takes away that layer of education and emotional labor. We’re free to discuss and process without having to also explain why or how an experience is difficult,” Murphy said.

*

Talking to Murphy and Dresner inspired me to reflect upon my nearly ten years in and out of the recovery community- as an alcoholic/ addict in recovery and then as a social worker. Throughout those years, I’ve noticed a universal theme that weaves us addicts together. We all felt like misfits, outsiders. Like many others, I first went to meetings flashing my outsider identity like a badge of honor. I was surprised to discover the very thing that made us feel like misfits and lone wolves is often what connects us most in recovery. There’s a glorious alchemy that happens when a bunch of misfits unite for a shared goal of recovery.

But sometimes, the alchemy doesn’t happen. I’ve heard this to be true especially among people in the LGBT community.

Since Morgan didn’t feel comfortable in the AA group, she stopped going and eventually relapsed. Desperate to get sober and with no other options in her small-town, she decided to give it another try. She was happy to befriend another lesbian in the group, but surprised when the woman advised Morgan to keep the “personal information under wraps.” By that, she meant not to come out to the group.

Morgan said, “It felt like going backwards to be in the closet after 15 years of being openly gay everywhere and that contributed to the feeling that maybe this program wasn’t going to work for me. It feels strange to do that and to fear judgement in a group that is all about acceptance and guidance and love… I have a feeling that I will eventually come out at least in the women’s group…My gut tells me I can’t have true recovery if I’m not being my true self.”

How can mainstream 12-step meetings and groups be more inclusive of LGBT people? While this could be an entire book in and of itself, I wanted to ask others to see what they thought.

Murphy said: “I think that some of the easiest and most effective ways for the recovery community to be more inclusive of LGBTQ+ folks are to really be aware of language and not make assumptions about the people they are addressing. For me, personally, I immediately get the message that I am not someone’s intended audience when the message being presented assumes that all women are feminine and attracted to men. Heteronormativity is ingrained in every part of mainstream society and, for people who want to make sure they are being inclusive of queer and trans folks, making sure that they’re not assuming people are heterosexual or cisgender is a huge step in the right direction.”

While I think that Murphy has valuable advice, she has had very different experiences; she has not been interested in attending AA and was able to get sober with the support of an online community called Hip Sobriety.

Josh* is a trans man from the Midwest who has gone to several rehabs, jails, and attended AA off and on for 20 years. He said that it’s hard to change an old institution like AA, but pointed out that they released the brochure: “AA and the Gay and Lesbian Alcoholic” in 1989. This omits others on the LGBT spectrum, but he said: “As for being included as an LGBT person, I don’t want to be treated any differently, just respected. Greeting goes a long way for me. Having people smile, shake hands, introduce themselves. Sounds simple but that’s where it all starts.”

*

I won’t be able to attend Pride this year. Ironically, I will be in a Catholic Church at my godson’s baptism. I will be thinking of my friends in Minneapolis and across the country as they march through the streets on floats, gathering signatures, and celebrating. But most of all, I will be thinking of the invisible misfits of the LGBT community- the ones struggling with addiction, the ones passed out before the dance even starts, the ones who are in rehab or detox.

I will be sending the brightest beams your way, knowing that one day you will finally be seen and embraced the way that I have been.

View the original article at thefix.com

25 June 2018
Overprescribing Doctor Linked To Hundreds Of Deaths, Report Says

The doctor’s “brusque and indifferent” prescribing of diamorphine led to the deaths of at least 456 patients between 1989-2000.

A British doctor is making headlines once again, after a report released Wednesday (June 20) concluded that her policy of over-prescribing a powerful pain medication led to hundreds of patient deaths.

Jane Barton, who is now retired, was found guilty of serious professional misconduct in 2010 by the General Medical Council (GMC) for her “excessive, inappropriate and potentially hazardous” prescribing of medication at Gosport War Memorial Hospital on the south coast of England, but was allowed to continue practicing medicine with some limitations.

Although Barton retired the same year, families of the victims, outraged by the decision, have since fought for Barton to be held accountable for her alleged actions.

On Wednesday, the Gosport Independent Panel released findings of a four-year investigation. While the Guardian states that “there is no suggestion that Barton intentionally took lives,” her “brusque and indifferent” prescribing of diamorphine (synthetic heroin) led to the deaths of at least 456 patients between 1989-2000, and potentially shortening the lives of another 200 patients.

The report determined that “there was a disregard for human life and a culture of shortening the lives of a large number of patients,” and that the opioid-prescribing policy under Barton’s direction was “without medical justification.”

“It represents a major crisis when you begin to doubt that the treatment they are being given is in their best interests,” said Rev. James Jones, chair of the independent panel. “It further shatters your confidence when you summon up the courage to complain and then sense that you are being treated as some sort of ‘troublemaker.’”

On the day of the report’s release, British Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt apologized for the deaths “on behalf of the government and the (National Health Service).”

The panel’s report mentions Harold Shipman, Britain’s worst serial killer, “in order to understand the context of events” in Barton’s case.

According to CNN, Shipman was found to have killed 215 of his patients over a 23-year period. According to a review led by High Court Judge Dame Janet Smith, Shipman also administered excessive doses of diamorphine to his patients from 1975 to 1998. He was ultimately sentenced to 15 terms of life imprisonment, according to the latest report. He ultimately died by suicide in his prison cell in 2004.

Still, Janet Barton maintains that she never meant to kill, and that her harmful prescribing was the result of the “excessive and increasing burden” of trying to care for too many patients.

“Throughout my career I have tried to do my very best for all my patients and have had only their interests and well-being at heart,” Barton said in 2010.

View the original article at thefix.com

23 June 2018
Demi Lovato Reveals She Relapsed In New Song "Sober"

“To the ones who never left me we’ve been down this road before, I’m so sorry, I’m not sober anymore,” the pop star sings in her new song.

Pop star Demi Lovato is forthright about not only about the positive side of her recovery, but also her struggles along the way. The singer-songwriter’s new single “Sober” is a candid confession about a recent relapse after six years of sobriety.

“I don’t know why I do it every time/ It’s only when I’m lonely/ Sometimes I just wanna cave/ And I don’t wanna fight,” she sings. “Mama I’m so sorry I’m not sober anymore/ And daddy please forgive me for the drinks spilled on the floor/ To the ones who never left me we’ve been down this road before/ I’m so sorry, I’m not sober anymore.”

Lovato goes on to apologize to fans, as well as herself: “I’m sorry that I’m here again/ I promise I’ll get help/ It wasn’t my intention/ I’m sorry to myself.”

Lovato is a champion of mental health and recovery support. She herself celebrated six years of sobriety back in March, marking the occasion on social media—“Just officially turned 6 years sober. So grateful for another year of joy, health and happiness. It IS possible”—as she does every March.

She even brings “therapy sessions” to fans before her concerts. “We have speakers from all over and we’re also helping out with different charities from around the country, so it’ll be incredible and a very moving and inspiring experience,” she said.

The goal of the mobile therapy sessions is to shed the stigma of struggling with mental health or asking for help.

“Shame’s just such a lousy feeling,” she said. “There’s nothing positive that comes out of shame.”

Last October, while accepting the Spirit of Sobriety award at a fundraising event hosted by the Brent Shapiro Foundation, the pop star described the consistent work that goes into her recovery.

“Every day is a battle. You just have to take it one day at a time, some days are easier than others and some days you forget about drinking and using, but for me, I work on my physical health, which is important, but my mental health as well,” she said.

Her recovery relies on a multi-faceted approach, like anyone else’s. “I see a therapist twice a week. I make sure I stay on my medications. I go to AA meetings. I do what I can physically in the gym. I make it a priority,” she said.

Rapper Iggy Azalea—who once credited Demi with inspiring her to be more open about receiving therapy at a time when she was “mentally exhausted”—tweeted her support for the “Sorry Not Sorry” singer.

“All of us who love you only want to see you happy and healthy,” she wrote. “I’m proud of you for having the guts to reveal your truth to the world again… I pray you’ll choose recovery again.”

View the original article at thefix.com

22 June 2018
Worried About Your Smartphone Use? These Tips Can Help

A few health experts offer some useful suggestions for limiting screen time and reconnecting with the world outside of your phone.

Smartphones undoubtedly make our lives easier. After all, we can now do our banking, grocery shopping and trip planning all from the comfort of our homes with a few taps.

However, smartphones are increasingly in the news for their negative side effects, and smartphone addiction is becoming a more common issue. In some cases, smartphone use has been tied to serious health consequences.

Last year, researchers found that more teen girls were coming into the emergency room for self-inflicted injuries, and they speculated that smartphones might be to blame.

“It is unclear why the rate of self-injury among younger teens has climbed,” the Washington Post reports, “though some experts say it could be because of the girls’ access to smartphones and Internet bullying.”

Smartphone use has also been linked to changes in teens’ brains and an increased risk in mental health problems and suicidal ideation for those who spend hours each day clicking away.

However, there are ways to curtail your smartphone use if you’re becoming concerned about how it’s affecting your health or relationships.

One simple step that can be surprisingly hard to initiate is charging your phone in another room, where it’s less convenient to access, said Julie Albright, a psychology lecturer at USC Dornsife College of Letters, Arts and Sciences and author of the book Left to Their Own Devices: How Digital Natives are Reshaping the American Dream.

Taking a break from the screen can allow you to recharge as well, she told Medical Xpress.

“This is a way to reconnect with body, mind and self and not be in a constant state of overstimulation of the mind,” Albright said. “We all need that quiet time to be able to think again and refocus.”

She also suggests putting all phones away during meal times.

“Keeping them out of sight during family dinners lets you focus on the people around you and be present,” she said.

Steven Sussman, professor of preventive medicine, psychology and social work, suggests setting up a schedule for checking your phone. Begin with once every 15 minutes, and gradually increase the waiting periods, resisting the urge to justify an early check-in by claiming you “need” to do something.

“Now we can do so much online—a lot of our daily lives are on our phone,” he said.

Although we do a lot online, we also waste lots of time mindlessly swiping through our phones, says Allen Weiss, director of the Mindful USC initiative and a professor of marketing at the USC Marshall School of Business. He challenges students to think about why they’re compelled to check their phones: are they bored, feeling needy, etc?

“Since mindfulness helps people process these emotions, I wanted [my students] to fully experience the sense of these emotions and see how they arise and pass away,” Weiss said.

View the original article at thefix.com

22 June 2018
6 Ways To Safely Dispose Of Prescription Medications

Drop-off boxes and drug disposal bags are among a few of the best methods for properly disposing of expired or unused medication.

Simply throwing unused medications in the garbage doesn’t cut it.

There are better, safer methods when it comes to disposing of prescription medications, according to U.S. News and World Report.

Disposing of such items is something nearly everyone will face at some point. There are numerous reasons to safely dispose of medications, including to protect pets, family and even yourself.

“Keeping extra medications in your home can put other people or pets at risk,” Lindsay Slowiczek, a pharmacist and drug information research fellow at the Center for Drug Information and Evidence-Based Practice at Creighton University in Omaha, Nebraska, tells U.S. News. “Children, elderly people and pets could accidentally take these medications and experience dangerous side effects or even experience a toxic overdose, due to their smaller size.”

Additionally, data implies that many users of heroin began with prescription medications. Eliminating such medications from your home can lessen the risk of someone using them the wrong way.

To safely dispose of prescription drugs, U.S. News recommends the following:

1. Locate a drop-off box. This is perhaps the best option for disposing of unneeded medications, the site states. Such boxes tend to be located at places like law enforcement offices, pharmacies and hospitals. The nearest drop-off box can be found by visiting www.rxdrugdropbox.org or asking local law enforcement or waste management.

2. Research options for disposing of the medications yourself. Sometimes packaging on the medication will include directions for disposal, U.S. News states. If unable to locate such directions, try mixing the uncrushed medications into an unappealing substance, like coffee grounds or cat litter. Place this in a sealed bag and into the garbage, being sure to scratch out any information about the type of medication or personal information.

3. Purchase a drug disposal bag. Such bags include a substance to deactivate medications or include a container in which you combine the medication with a powder or liquid to make it harder to access. These can often be found online. Walmart even gives away such kits.

4. Determine if a medication should be flushed. U.S. News states that because some medications—such as painkillers, anxiety medications and stimulants—present an increased risk, they should be flushed down the toilet. Such medications can be fatal to those without a prescription. Check the FDA website for a list of flushable medications.

5. Take advantage of a Drug Take-Back Day. In April and October, the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) has temporary locations to collect unwanted medications. At the most recent event on April 28, nearly 1 million pounds of unwanted medications were collected. Locations for Drug Take-Back Days can be found at www.takebackday.dea.gov.

6. Touch base with hospice providers. Many people who were in hospice care and passed away were likely on prescription medications. It is a good idea to find out about the handling of prescription medication disposal with hospice providers, as some provide the service.

View the original article at thefix.com

22 June 2018
Medication-Assisted Treatment Saves Lives But Is Severely Underutilized

A new study found that in the year after an overdose less than one-third of patients were prescribed methadone, buprenorphine or naltrexone.

A new study found that drugs used to reduce opioid use in people with addiction are seriously underutilized.

The medical journal Annals of Internal Medicine published the study, which followed close to 18,000 adults in Massachusetts. The participants in the study had gone to an emergency room between 2012 and 2014 for a non-fatal drug overdose.

Although using drug therapy to treat opioid addiction is considered a “gold standard” of treatment, the study found that just 30% received any of the Food and Drug Administration-approved medication-assisted treatments.

The FDA advises treatment for opioid addiction as a combination of behavioral therapy and the parallel use of one of three drugs. Methadone, buprenorphine, and naltrexone are all drugs approved for assistance in reducing drug cravings in those addicted to opioids.

Science Daily reported that the study showed a 59% reduction in fatal opioid overdose for those receiving methadone, and a 38% reduction for those receiving buprenorphine over a 12-month period. The drug naltrexone was unable to be evaluated due to a small sample size.

In the past, naltrexone has been shown to be as effective as methadone and buprenorphine, but there are high dropout rates and a refusal to try the drug in the first place.

Science Daily reports this could be due to the fact that patients utilizing naltrexone cannot use any opioids for seven to 10 days. Methadone and buprenorphine can be started much sooner.

As the opioid addiction crisis worsens, health officials are eager to find ways to assist people with addiction in withdrawal and abstinence from the drug. The Fix reported on an FDA-approved device that helps reduce opioid cravings, called “Drug Relief.”

The study also found that in the year after an overdose, not quite one-third of patients were prescribed one of the three FDA approved drugs—with methadone at 11%, buprenorphine at 17%, and naltrexone at 6%. Five percent received more than one medication.

According to Science Daily, Dr. Nora Volkow, director of the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), said, “A great part of the tragedy of this opioid crisis is that, unlike in previous such crises America has seen, we now possess effective treatment strategies that could address it and save many lives, yet tens of thousands of people die each year because they have not received these treatments. Ending the crisis will require changing policies to make these medications more accessible and educating primary care and emergency providers, among others, that opioid addiction is a medical illness that must be treated aggressively with the effective tools that are available.”

View the original article at thefix.com

22 June 2018
Brandon Lee Exchanges Barbs With Dad Tommy About Rehab, Sobriety

“I thank my dad for paying for my treatment… My clear mind has allowed me to do a lot with this time. So much so that I would like to offer to pay for his treatment.”

Former Mötley Crüe rocker Tommy Lee and his son Brandon continue to wage a very public and very ugly social media feud with each another, according to Entertainment Tonight.

But their contentious Instagram exchanges may be over with. On Tuesday, Brandon, 22, revealed that he is celebrating nearly two years of sobriety and said that he is grateful to his father.

“I thank my Dad for paying for my treatment,” Brandon wrote in an Instagram post. “It’s the best thing he has ever done for me. Today I am almost two years sober. Every day that goes by I feel ever more grateful. My clear mind has allowed me to do a lot with this time. So much so that I would like to offer to pay for his treatment.”

Brandon’s words come on the heels of the 55-year-old’s lengthy Instagram post on Father’s Day, in which he claimed his kids didn’t appreciate anything.

“Sometimes I feel like I failed as a father, because my kids don’t know the value of things,” Tommy wrote. “Sometimes it’s really tough to watch your kids grow up without these morals.”

Brandon shot back with claims that Tommy was an absent father, uploading a since-deleted video of an unconscious Tommy Lee lying on the floor in a t-shirt and underwear.

It’s not the first time Brandon has aired out his father’s alleged alcoholism, either. Back in March, following an altercation between the two, Brandon wrote on Twitter that he was “devastated” by the effects of his father’s alcoholism.

“I’ve worked tirelessly organizing an intervention and it’s incredibly upsetting that it never came to fruition. I wanted my dad’s hopeful sobriety and recovery to be a private family matter but, as a result of his accusations on social media, I feel forced to speak out,” he said at the time. “I love my father and just want to see him sober, happy and healthy.”

Tommy dismissed the claims, saying he was happy and enjoying retirement.

The Mötley Crüe drummer denied having alcoholism, listing on Instagram everything that he felt his son had taken for granted, ranging from rehab to a costly birthday party: “Rehab for son: $130,000, Party for son’s 21st birthday last year: $40,000,” he wrote. “Medical Bills after son knocks his father unconscious and uses ‘alcoholism’ as scapegoat: $10,000, Son acting like a victim on social media on father’s day: Priceless.”

According to ET, however, Brandon has grown weary of the public fighting. In fact, on Monday, he posted an extended Instagram post urging his father to “move on” and to keep their matters private.

“It’s so sad that Tommy feels the need to keep attacking his son despite Brandon’s pleas to quit their very public feud,” a source told ET. “Brandon wants to rise above all of this but keeps getting pulled into it and defending himself. Brandon realizes enough is enough and that’s exactly why he removed the video of his father, but Tommy doesn’t seem to want it to end. He seems to want to keep fighting.”

View the original article at thefix.com

22 June 2018
The Blessings of Going Back

“Pulling a geographic? Come to Jackson Hole! Great public transportation, decent jobs, and a beautiful environment to be miserable in.”

It can be a scary thing to go back to the place you hit your “bottom.” It can also be extremely rewarding with unexpected miracles and blessings. I hit my bottom in Jackson Hole, Wyoming and I highly recommend it as a destination location as far as bottoms go. I don’t think that’s a “thing” but perhaps some travel site can advertise that: “Pulling a geographic? Come to Jackson Hole! Great public transportation, decent jobs, and a beautiful environment to be miserable in.”

I’m not trying to make light of it. It’s awful hitting a bottom but if I had to choose between Jackson and somewhere else, I’d probably choose Jackson. Not that I was miserable – at first. Geographics are great at first. The despair takes a nap. New places, new faces – no problems. I picked up some hobbies, some new friends and a couple guys. One of the guys was a ski instructor at the resort. He was maybe 10 or 20 years older than me which was fine because I was also “dating” someone 10 to 20 years younger than me. Age is just a construct, anyhow, and more is better and pass the bottle.

We hit the slopes in the morning and then took a break for lunch at the Four Seasons where I ordered a glass of wine, of course. He paused, considered for a moment and then ordered one for himself. After lunch, we went back to skiing which is kind of amazing for an alcoholic but after a few hours, we celebrated a terrific day by returning to the Four Seasons for “Apres Ski” and had a few more glasses. That was the last I saw of him.

Nine months later, I moved back to New York and ended up in “the rooms.” Then, when I was about a year sober, I had to go back to Jackson for some work. I was scared because I had drunk so much and that was how I did Jackson. That’s how Jackson worked. Could I do it differently? Most of my friendships were based around drinking and so were most of my activities. Why go river rafting, if you’re not going to party? It was all about the beer, the booze, the alcohol.

My sponsor and fellows in the program told me that it would be okay to go back and that what I would do is go to meetings, make phone calls, and take it one day at a time. So that’s what I did. There was a daily meeting in town square and, though nervous, I showed up and said I’m visiting. There were a lot of other people visiting, as well as locals, and it was a very welcoming environment. After the meeting, someone tapped my shoulder. It was the ski instructor. I was happy to see him, not because I was attracted to him or wanted to be with him, but because it was nice to see someone who had been out there with me now in the rooms taking the same journey. He told me he had been sober for a while and it was on our date at the Four Seasons that he’d slipped. He stayed out for a few months and came back about the same time that I started coming to meetings. It felt like such a blessing to run into him there. I was so glad he was healthy and sober. So glad that I was, as well, and that we didn’t get lost down that tragic highway.

Another hidden blessing was that one of my coworkers was also trying to get sober. He didn’t have the gift of desperation, as they say, he had the gift of a DWI and a court mandating him to go. He was super talented and super likeable and had the common alcoholic tendency to turn into a total asshole and then go MIA when he drank which would be really bad for the project we were working on together. Selfishly, I needed him to stay sober. He was on the fence as to whether he was an alcoholic or not, but we went to a meeting together and when we had to go to Salt Lake City for work, I brought him to a meeting there too. He stayed sober through the job and guess what? So. Did. I. If I hadn’t been so focused on his sobriety, would I have stayed sober? Would I have searched out a meeting just for myself? Can’t say for sure. But what I can say is that he was another unexpected angel on that trip and from what I understand, he’s still sober.

Seeing Jackson through newly sober eyes was like putting on a “new pair of glasses” as Chuck C. says in his book by the same name. When I was there before, it was all about me, me, me. What can I get? I need that! And what’s in it for me? For instance, whenever I went to the brew pub, I was not present with the people I was with; my focus was on drinking and looking for guys and male attention. It was all about trying to fill that “God-shaped hole.” But sober, I was a worker among workers drinking my Arnold Palmer, enjoying my colleagues’ company, enjoying the moment and enjoying just BEING SOBER. That was the biggest gift of all.

It’s eight years later and I’m still sober and, as I write this, I realize that I miss that time in my life. I miss the humility and gratitude of early sobriety. I’m back to thinking a lot about myself and my plans. And what I can get. And I’m feeling kinda not awesome. I’ve also heard that around eight years is when people go out again, or slip. They get busy and stop going to meetings. I can definitely be too busy. Busy with I want, I want, I want. I think I get high on trying to make things happen. It’s my ego. But I know that when I have the gift of surrender and humility, IT FEELS SO GOOD. But I can’t seem to will the surrender. I can just be willing, and show up to meetings, do service, and deepen my understanding of my higher power regardless of how I feel. And as I reach out to the newcomer, I am re-acquainted with the early blessings, the blessings they give me and the ones I get to share in return. And for that I am grateful.

View the original article at thefix.com

22 June 2018