Category: Addiction News

Demand For Mental Health Resources Not Being Met On College Campuses

One mental health professional estimates that almost half of colleges students who need services are not receiving them.

College is a stressful transition for many—that’s apparent from recent mental health numbers.

According to Deseret News, greater numbers of college students are facing mental health challenges such as depression and anxiety, and as such, the number of students seeking help on campuses has increased.

Ben Locke, executive director of the Center for Collegiate Mental Health at Pennsylvania State University, tells Deseret News that the demand for mental health services is growing rapidly—about five to six times faster than enrollment. He says that since enrollment numbers help fund such services, it’s difficult for some colleges to fulfill the demand.

The Center for Collegiate Mental Health has found that of the students seeking help, 70% have anxiety. Of those, 25% consider anxiety their main concern. These numbers, according to Deseret News, are based on 2017 data covering 160,014 students at 160 colleges.

Additionally, a 2017 American College Health Association Survey of 63,000 students discovered that 2 in 5 students would say they are so depressed that they “struggled to function,” and 3 in 5 had felt “overwhelming anxiety” in the previous year.

According to experts, college students may be particularly prone to such mental health struggles because of the transition from adolescence to adulthood.

And it isn’t just the volume of students that’s an issue. According to Daniel Eisenberg, professor of health management and policy at the University of Michigan and director of the Healthy Minds Network, students’ symptoms are growing more severe.

According to Eisenberg’s data, almost half of students who need services are not receiving them.

Randy P. Auerbach of Columbia University and lead author of a study about mental health in college students worldwide, says the problem needs to be addressed.

“We are seeing debilitating levels of anxiety that are more and more common—where, by the time they get to college, students are so worried about different aspects of their lives it can be a real problem. Students struggling with very severe symptoms who don’t get treatment are likely to have consequences.”

On some campuses, students are taking the matter into their own hands. At the University of Michigan, student body president Bobby Dishell and some of his peers had begun a program called the Wolverine Support Network. The idea was that students could form small groups and offer one another support.

Sam Orley, whose brother George took his own life when he was a student at the university, served as the executive director of the program. Orley said that rather than being a program for mental illness, the Wolverine Support Network is a “holistic mental health and well-being effort.”

In some cases, the struggles college students are facing may be downplayed, according to Kelly Davis, director of peer advocacy, supports and services for Mental Health America.

“There’s a lot of condescension—dismissal of how hard that period of life is,” Davis told Deseret News.

Last spring, Deseret News sat down with students to discuss their fears and worries. Topping the list were fear of missing out, fear of failure and job competition.

“The bar is just so high for everything,” one student said in conclusion.

View the original article at thefix.com

11 October 2018
Alleged Drug Dealer Indicted For Fentanyl Overdose Death

Calvin Warren Jr. is the first person to be arrested and charged under a new Florida law.

A new Florida law regarding the prosecution of drug dealers, signed by Gov. Rick Scott in 2017, has gone into effect. The law expanded the state’s first-degree murder code to include adults who sell a lethal dose of fentanyl.

The Palm Beach Post reported that Calvin Warren Jr., 35, was arrested on first-degree murder charges in the overdose death of 36-year-old Thomas Matuseski. Warren is the first person to be arrested and charged under the new law.

Thomas Matuseski died on January 28 after ingesting fentanyl; Warren is accused of providing the deadly drug. Warren remains in the Palm Beach County Jail without the possibility of parole. The indictment against him states that he caused Matuseski’s death “unlawfully from a premeditated design.”

The Palm Beach County State Attorney’s Office announced that Warren distributed heroin, cocaine, and fentanyl. On January 28, Matuseski’s roommate found him collapsed on his bedroom floor in Boynton Beach, according to city police records. Matuseski’s friend called 911 but the Boynton rescue crews were unable to resuscitate him.

Police reported no sign of drugs or paraphernalia in Matuseski’s home on Citrus Park Lane, and it was not announced how Warren was suspected to be linked to Matuseski’s death. Police records do show that Warren was arrested in February on a case that remains open and includes multiple drug-related charges.

Greg Newburn, Florida’s state policy director for Families Against Mandatory Minimums, told The Daily Beast, “Most deaths we’ve seen since the rise of fentanyl in Florida have been a mixture of heroin and fentanyl.”

Florida’s new law does not account for the mixture of drugs or if the dealer claims to have known they were using fentanyl. If a drug mixture containing any amount of fentanyl is involved in the drug user’s death, the dealer can be charged with first-degree murder, a charge for which “the only two sentences available are life without parole and the death penalty,” Newburn said.

“We will aggressively charge drug dealers who spread fentanyl-laced heroin into our community,” Palm Beach County State Attorney Dave Aronberg said in a statement, as reported in The Palm Beach Post. “We will use all tools provided us by the Florida Legislature to hold drug dealers accountable for causing the deaths of others.”

Thomas Matuseski was a New York native, and according to his obituary was remembered as a loving father and son who loved sports.

View the original article at thefix.com

11 October 2018
Ban On Select Edibles Alarms Washington State Cannabis Retailers

Retailers and makers will be allowed to sell banned products until the inventory is exhausted or until April 2019.

The Washington State Liquor and Cannabis Board took many marijuana businesses aback on October 3 when they announced that cannabis-infused products that may have appeal to children – gummy candies, lollipops and/or brightly colored products – will be prohibited from sale.

Makers and retailers alike expressed concern that they were not given adequate warning about what the board is calling a “re-evaluation” of such products; though edibles make up a relatively small portion of marijuana products sold in Washington state (9%), they are a significant revenue stream for many independent companies.

The Board will hold a webinar on October 16 to address concerns about the impending re-evaluation, and companies whose products fall under the ban will have a chance to appeal.

The Board made its announcement via an online presentation, which ascribed its decision as an attempt to address concerns from board members as well as “stakeholders and the public” in regard to infused edible candy.

A re-evaluation of such products, which were previously approved by the Board, led to the new ruling, which stated that “all production of hard candy (of any style, shape or size), tarts, fruit chews, colorful chocolates, jellies and any gummy type products should cease, as they will not qualify” under the new guidelines. The rule will take effect January 1, 2019.

Drinks, baked goods, chips and tinctures do not fall under the ban, as well as certain types of candies, such as chocolate, caramels or mints, provided that they are not presented in a manner that is “especially appealing to children,” such as certain colors, flavors, shapes or additions such as sprinkles or frosting.

Retailers and makers will be allowed to sell banned products until the inventory is exhausted or until April 3, 2019, after which they must be disposed of according to marijuana waste requirements.

Retailers and manufacturers will have to resubmit labels and products for their items to the Board prior to the January 1 activation date; if their products do not meet the new requirements, they will be informed that board approval is being rescinded. The notification will also include information on how to appeal the decision.

Response from retailers and manufacturers was immediate and deeply concerned. While many support the idea of ensuring that products do not appeal to kids, they were also worried about the impact of the ban on their business. “If we lose the ability to make these candies, we’ll be out of business,” said Craft Elixirs owner Jamie Hoffman.

Diana Isaiou, owner of American Baked Co., said that more than half of her company’s sales are edible fruit chews, which require the purchase of large and expensive amounts of ingredients and packaging prior to manufacture. “We don’t get business loans in the marijuana industry,” she said. “These are people’s personal bank rolls.”

Others expressed dismay at what they considered an arbitrary ban. “I’m concerned that whole categories of products are being tossed out categorically,” said Logan Bowers, owner of Hashtag Cannabis. “I don’t see how a chew is inherently more enticing to a child than a cookie.”

The Liquor and Cannabis Board will offer a link to register for the October 16 webinar on the site.

View the original article at thefix.com

11 October 2018
How To Tell If A Child Is Battling Anxiety

Though child anxiety can sometimes take longer to diagnose, it is very treatable once diagnosed.

What initially appears as bad behavior in children can actually be signs of an underlying issue — anxiety disorders.

According to the Washington Post, anxiety disorders are increasing in youth, especially during the school year.

A study recently published in the Journal of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics makes the estimate that about 2 million children and adolescents in the U.S. have a diagnosable anxiety disorder.

When it comes to anxiety in children, it can be difficult to diagnose since it can present as negative behaviors.

“We tend to think of anxious children as these delicate little butterflies, but when kids are scared, they can be ferocious about trying to escape or avoid anxiety-provoking situations,” Eileen Kennedy-Moore, child psychologist and author of Kid Confidence, told the Post.

Susan Newman, psychologist and author of The Book of No, explains that sometimes children can have feelings of anxiety for the first time and don’t always know how to react.

“Children today are stressed on so many fronts: challenged socially, academically, having to cope with physical changes and development, the demands and influence of social media, trying to fit in and be accepted. It’s no wonder they show evidence of anxiety,” Newman told the Post. “Parents should ask questions about anything they notice or want to understand to show their interest and love for their child. Children want to be heard and listened to, even if they tell you to stop being nosy.”

When it comes to anxiety in children, there are some warning signs, though all children differ. One, according to the Post, is psychosomatic complaints.

“Kids don’t usually come home from school saying, ‘I felt really anxious at school today,’ but they do say things like, ‘I have a terrible stomachache; I can’t go back to school tomorrow,’” the Post notes. “Frequent stomach aches, headaches and unexplained muscle aches and pains can all be symptoms of anxiety.”

Other signs include anger and irritability, sadness, isolation and avoidance, fatigue, poor concentration, school refusal and frequent questions.

Just like signs of anxiety can differ from child to child, so can triggers. Triggers can include genetics, academic pressure, bullying, big transitions, loss and violence or abuse.

Though child anxiety can sometimes take longer to diagnose, it is very treatable when that diagnosis is made, according to the Post. Through identifying triggers and learning coping skills, children and parents can learn to take control of anxiety.

“A pediatrician is a good first stop to rule out or diagnose possible medical issues and to refer a licensed mental health practitioner who specializes in working with children,” the Post reads. “Cognitive behavioral therapy and dialectical behavioral therapy can be very effective treatment options for children with anxiety.”

View the original article at thefix.com

11 October 2018
Sober Dating: Overcoming Triggers & Temptations

The date turned out to be a boobytrap of triggers that I wasn’t totally prepared for. But mindfulness, resilience, accountability – recovery – kicked in when I needed it most.

I startled as my phone buzzed a text against my thigh. It was my date.

“I’m late, but I’ve got tacos!”

Relax, I urged myself, taking a breath and taking in the surroundings. It’s going to be fine. It’s just tacos.

This was my first date in well over six months. Unless you include a Saturday night in late August while I vacationed in Iceland. We ran all over Reykjavik searching for traditional lamb meat soup, to no avail. It was whimsical, it was carefree, but it was all the way in Iceland. And it didn’t even end with a kiss. This taco rendezvous felt like a legitimate return from a dating hiatus.

Dating is challenging. Sober dating can be truly precarious. First of all, I have very little courtship experience. My M.O. has always been meet, mate, marry. Eventually, I learned not to wed every guy who showed interest. Twenty years of consecutive long-term relationships meant that at 36 years old I became sober and legitimately single, for the first time in decades. SCARY.

At the very least, it’s uncomfortable. And why do so many of us drink? To treat discomfort! “Meeting for drinks” is both neutral ground, and grants permission for each party to self-medicate throughout the ordeal.

It’s natural to want a strong drink (or in my case a strong drink and maybe a powerful pill) to relax. When I’m home getting ready, agonizing over my hair, outfit, and what to say, “just one” would go a long way towards numbing my nerves. But “just one” steers me down a dangerous path. Before I know it, I’d be back on stage at POP-Solo karaoke, blackout wasted, singing “Sexy Back” off key. (ALLEGEDLY! There’s no evidence.) It’s just not worth the risk.

Deciding when, or whether to “out myself” as sober to a guy is always a gamble. He had mentioned “wine” more than once as a suggestion for our first activity. (An early red flag I adeptly ignored). Refusing a glass in the moment can be difficult and awkward, so I casually commented prior to the date, “I actually don’t drink…but if you want wine, it’s cool.” When he didn’t respond with the all-too-common: “Really?? You don’t drink ever??!!??” my optimism was buoyed.

So I waited for Taco Guy with zero alcoholic pre-lubrication, counting breaths as a healthy coping mechanism instead of throwing back shots at the bar. He arrived, tall and attractive. He had a large bag of local Mexican food in one hand, a spirited canine attached to a leash in the other. He even brought me a Fresca, remembering my preference for sparkling water. Fresca is no La Croix, but he got points for thoughtfulness.

The date started out smoother than expected. As dinner wrapped up, he clumsily remarked he wasn’t sure what to do next. “Normally I’d take you to a bar, go wine tasting…something revolving around drinks.” My teetotaling ways left him at a loss.

I remember those days, pre-sobriety. Alcohol: a necessary ingredient for every situation. I once turned down an otherwise solid, yet sober guy over this. “Sorry, beer is seriously that important to me. I practically live at breweries. We’ll have nothing in common!”

Taco Guy was stressed about what we wouldn’t get to do together in future meetings. “Wine tasting? BBQs and Beer? How do you have fun without drinking?”

In nearly two years of sobriety, I’ve hardly been bored. I secretly questioned his capability for booze-free entertainment, but stayed aloof. “Anything you can do with alcohol, you can do without. I promise. I’m super fun.“

“Do you do anything bad?” he asked skeptically. I laughed out loud, thinking how he’d probably never know the truth about my former IV drug use and three years left in probation.

“Trust me,” I assured him. “I’m not all good.”

He had a teasing smile. “Oh yeah?” Sweetly persistent and skilled at flattery, he convinced me to bring our dogs to his place. They could play in the backyard and we could watch Netflix.

What the hell, I thought. Prove you can be fun!

Within 15 minutes, I was standing in his small, tidy apartment. He’d called me beautiful and made his interest in me obvious. Did this mean we were going to make out? Was I ready? Do I make the first move? What are the rules?

In the past, this was easy. Drink, flirt, and use alcohol as an excuse for whatever indiscretion occurred. Sober dating is not easy. Sober sex is on a whole other level.

He spoke, blessedly interrupting my thoughts. “I’m going to have a whiskey, do you mind? I’m really nervous.”

“Go ahead, of course!” I answered bravely, but thought REALLY?!?! Not fair!! I’m stone cold sober, trying to navigate first date rules, and you get to wash away your worries with hard liquor while I sip water to tame my cottonmouth. UGH!

He poured a hefty amount of Jack Daniels over ice, and I took the opportunity to use the bathroom.

Shutting the door behind me, I leaned against it, worrying. Is he going to kiss me? Or more? Is my deodorant still working? Should I wash under my arms? I should use his mouthwash!

The mirror reflected back glossy color on my freshly styled hair, nervous rosy cheeks, and a trace of pink lipstick that had mostly wiped off on the Fresca. I looked decent. I’m not a bad catch, for a sober chick. Wait, what if he tastes like liquor? Is it weird if I ask him to use mouthwash? No that’s crazy. Or is it?

Leaning into the sink to wash my hands, a familiar sight stood out on the countertop: the bright, cunning orange of a medicine vial. Right there, in plain sight. No cupboard snooping necessary.

My vision went fuzzy on the edges. Drying my hands on a towel, I waited for the buzzing feeling to dissipate. I’ve been sober awhile, but I’m not immune to triggers. Medication bottles are not just benign bathroom articles.

I chewed on my bottom lip and thought over my next move. One of the labels was readily visible: “Metoprolol.” Phew, I thought. Heart medicine. No big deal. Without warning, my hand took over and snatched up another bottle, turning it label side up.

Hydrocodone-acetaminophen. Otherwise known as Vicodin.

Fuck.

I set it back down, but picked up another.

Oxycodone hydrochloride. Percocet.

Double fuck.

Opiates were my drug of choice, my former best friend and the most seductive, manipulative, toxic lover I’ve ever tangled with.

Setting the menacing vial down, I stepped away from the sink, clenching my hands at my sides.

I could take a couple.

It only took a second for the thought to formulate. I envisioned the euphoric, care-free feeling. Pictured worrisome “first date rules” slipping away, letting go and enjoying the moment.

Picking up the bottle once more, I shook it lightly.

How many are in here? I bet he wouldn’t notice any missing.

The thought was brief. But it was charged with deadly potential. Lucky for me, mindful recovery teaches me I don’t have to believe my thoughts. I have a choice.

I don’t want this. It isn’t me anymore.

I extricated myself from the bathroom, delivered from temptation.

Taco Guy was on his second tumbler and had stepped outside to smoke. Menthols. Of course! My brand. At least they were, once upon a time. This date presented landmines everywhere I turned.

Against my better judgment, I stayed long enough to play with fire. Taco Guy is pretty hot, kind and gainfully employed. I wasn’t planning a future together, but I hadn’t yet ruled out seeing where the night would go. Holding a menthol between my fingertips, I said flirtatiously “It’s been awhile.” I took a drag, hoping I looked dangerous and sexy. Coughing, I just ended up likely looking like a silly girl who hadn’t inhaled in awhile.

I stayed long enough to smoke the cigarette and regret it. Long enough to sulk and wish things were different. It’s not fair. I don’t want to be an addict. I want to be normal – I want to be able to get drunk and make out. I wished, for a moment, that Taco Guy and I weren’t so incompatible.

While I pouted privately, I knew I was kidding myself. The truth is, we are incompatible and I was uncomfortable. I don’t really wish I could drink and have an excuse for my behavior. I definitely don’t wish I could take his pills or go back to using. What I guess I really wanted was just to be on a date where I could be my honest, open, sober-out-loud self.

I don’t want to date if I can’t be real. That probably means when I’m genuinely ready, I’ll date guys who are also in recovery. I’d questioned this when I first became single and sober. Who do I date? Can I date someone who drinks regularly? I got my answer this night.

Crushing the cigarette in a well-used ashtray, I reached for my keys.

He looked rejected. “You’re leaving? I promise to be a gentleman. We’ll just watch a movie.”

Within a couple hours in his presence, I’d given in to smoking. Next, I might ask for a sip of whiskey. Once the brown liquid passed my lips, burning the back of my throat, I’d slink into the bathroom. Tilting the bottle of Vicodin back and forth, contemplating the siren song as the pills clicked against one another.

Nope. Not gonna happen. I love myself too much to go back there.

Driving home, I felt a mix of relief, pride, and sorrow. And a touch of nausea from the cigarette. When was the last time I’d looked a bottle of pills in the face and walked away?

The date turned out to be a boobytrap of triggers that I wasn’t totally prepared for. But mindfulness, resilience, accountability – recovery – kicked in when I needed it most. I was tempted, but not overwhelmed. I won that battle.

A few days later, Taco Guy texted. I had to be firm and honest. “I can’t date someone who drinks. That’s become very clear. Thanks, and good luck.”

To my surprise, he replied with a compromise:

“I shouldn’t drink either. I’ll try to stop. You could be a huge support and help to me with this.”

As if the triple threat – alcohol, cigarettes and pills – wasn’t enough, co-dependency alarms rang in my ears. The final red flag was flown.

Firmly informing him that his request was wildly inappropriate, I blocked his number.

Over the last 20+ years, I’ve made really disappointing, damaging relationships decisions. Looking back, all I manage is, “What the fuck were you thinking?”

Just for once, I’d like to look at my life and think, “Well done, girl. You’re doing your best. It’s not easy, it’s not painless, but you’re making smart choices.“

I think that time might be now. I could be doing it right for once. Saying “yes” to a drama free, recovery-centric era of radical self-love. Saying “no” to drugs, alcohol, and self-destructive behavior one nerve-wracking date at a time.

Tiffany Swedeen, RN, BSN, CPC/CPRC is a certified life and recovery coach, She Recovers Designated Coach, and a registered nurse in recovery herself from opioids and alcohol. Tiffany lives “sober out loud,” proudly sharing her story through advocacy and blogging and is passionate about helping others do the same. Her goal is to eradicate shame and empower all to live a life of radical self-love. You can contact Tiffany through her website Recover and Rise, read her blog www.scrubbedcleanrn.com and follow her @scrubbedcleanrn.

View the original article at thefix.com

11 October 2018
Russell Brand On Rock Bottom, Importance Of 12-Step Fellowship

“Sharing your story with another addict, as I did in my recovery, proved vital. Nothing I said to this person was too boring or terrible or trivial to him.”

Russell Brand never shies from talking about his experience with addiction and recovery.

Ahead of attending Wellspring, the three-day “wellness festival” happening in Palm Springs Oct. 26-28, where he’ll be the keynote speaker, Brand spoke with the Los Angeles Times about hitting rock bottom, living mindfully, and the importance of fellowship.

“I hit rock bottom in 2003 with an addiction to heroin, which had cost me a job at MTV, a radio show, friends and girlfriends,” said Brand, who began using drugs at age 19.

He used heroin for four years before his manager and friend Chip Sommers put things in perspective, telling him “I’d wind up either in a prison, lunatic asylum or graveyard.”

He started going to a 12-step program, which he benefits from to this day. By accessing the support of others, he learned the importance of having a sense of community that the 12-step program provided.

“Inevitably, when reason wanes, when the spiritual experience wanes, being part of a community lets you remind one another. Addicts yearn for some sense of connection that makes them feel more healed, more whole, more happy,” he said. “Sharing your story with another addict, as I did in my recovery, proved vital. Nothing I said to this person was too boring or terrible or trivial to him. He related to me—and the disconnectedness that I had always felt lifted. And so did the need to take drugs.”

Brand also relies on a daily regimen of meditation—“a shower for the brain”—and exercise.

“You have to design your own program, what’s right for your body and your mind,” he said. “For me meditation is not nearly enough. I need exercise too. And community.”

In his 2017 book Recovery: Freedom From Our Addictions, Brand chronicles his path to recovery and shares wisdom accumulated from over a decade sober.

In the book, the comedian, actor, activist and advocate for addiction recovery and mental health adapts the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous in his own expletive-laced words.

“[Now] I don’t struggle with [addictive] urges because the program I live by helps me remain serene and prevents those urges from arriving,” he said. “If I feel those urges—even though I don’t feel them so often because I’m working the program—I talk to other people and I do stuff for other people and I meditate and pray. There’s a whole sort of series put in place for when I feel those urges.”

View the original article at thefix.com

11 October 2018
Keira Knightley Talks PTSD, Dealing With Early Fame

In a new interview, Knightley revealed the toll that sudden fame took on her mental health after the box office success of Pirates of the Caribbean.

Keira Knightley first broke through to stardom with the film Bend It Like Beckham in 2002, then she hit the jackpot with the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. But early fame was very difficult for her to handle, and as she tells The Hollywood Reporter, she was diagnosed with PTSD after having “a mental breakdown at 22.”

Knightley says the run of Pirates sequels “was completely insane – from the outside you’re like, ‘Whoa, that was hit after hit after hit!’ But from the inside, all you’re hearing is the criticism.”

Knightley’s insecurities about being a young actress festered. “I was aware that I didn’t know what I was doing, you know? I didn’t know my trade, I didn’t know my craft. I knew that there was something that worked sometimes, but I didn’t know how to kind of capture that.”

Being in the tabloids was hard to deal with as well. “I didn’t handle it well,” she reveals. “It was a really rude awakening to he world of misogyny…I never experienced that level of hatred on a day-to-day basis. There was a sense of, like, battle every day of leaving the house.”

After Knightley suffered her mental breakdown at 22, “I did take a year off there and was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder because of all that stuff.”

Knightley traveled for a year, saying it “gave me that space I needed to be able to start again. I felt pretty much like I sort of didn’t exist and I was this weird creature with this weird face that people seemed to respond to in quite an extreme way, and I couldn’t quite figure any of it out.”

Knightley also felt her family helped her through this dark time in her life, and she adds, “I can really enjoy things now. I look back and I just sort of want to give myself a hug and be like, ‘Oh, you’re doing all right, you’ll be all right.’”

In 2015, Knightley spoke to Elle about therapy. “I highly recommended it. I don’t do it at the moment. But in my early 20s when I found everything completely overwhelming, 100%, I did it! I think when you’re in those moments in your life, and you want to get through them…you have to do whatever it is to help you get over it. You have to give it a go. Try anything that might help.”

View the original article at thefix.com

11 October 2018
King of the Bums

If you’re an addict like I am, then maybe you have these issues with self-esteem, fear, an enormous desire to be liked, an ego the size of Texas and hatred of anyone or anything you feel inferior to.

I didn’t stroll into recovery willingly. The first time I ever got sober was definitely not by choice. It was a requirement lovingly handed down to me by the wonderful Florida Department of Corrections. They told me to get sober, piss clean once a week, and attend meetings or go to prison. I never wanted to stop using the first time. I just didn’t want to end up in jail. Sure, I had managed to destroy my life and ruin any meaningful relationship I ever had, but that wasn’t enough motivation to stop me from getting high. The fear of going up-the-road terrified me. The fear of walking into a state penitentiary and walking out a gang member with a face tattoo scared the living hell out of me.

Growing up, everyone always told me that I was a chameleon. I have the ability to effortlessly blend into any situation no matter the surroundings; it’s in the way I walk, the way I talk, reading someone’s body language and matching it with my own little nuances to make them feel comfortable, picking up on choice words in an individual’s vocabulary and using it myself. Whatever the scene is, I have the script. Needless to say, improvising comes easy for me. It’s no wonder that I became a musician and started performing regularly. The stage and the spotlight are my warm blanket.

The ability to improvise on the fly and blend in with any situation comes very handy when someone is trying to get high. When it comes to interacting with shady people on the streets and within your local dope-hole, the art of blending in and belonging is vital, not to mention the gift of gab. You got to get in, get it for the right price, and get out.

The problem is that this particular skill set can become a huge detriment when getting sober. The ability to acclimate to any surrounding can kill you if you’re in a setting that demands complete transparency. If you’re living in a halfway house with about a dozen different personalities, being able to get along is a big deal. Convincing the house manager that you’re making the right choices and not getting high is important. You need to be trusted, you need to blend in, and most important, you need to stay off everyone’s radar. You don’t need a random piss test to ruin the party now do you?

So here’s where the even bigger problem lies. If you’re an addict/alcoholic like I am, then maybe you have these deep core issues with self-esteem, personal acceptance, a huge amount of fear, thoughts of loneliness, an enormous desire to be liked, an ego the size of Texas and hatred towards anyone or anything you feel inferior to. I’ve heard it put this way and I’m sure you have too: We’re ego-maniacs with an inferiority complex.

Sounds like we have a little boy/girl deep within us that needs to grow up, doesn’t it? And when we stop putting mood- or mind-altering substances into our body, we’re put on a collision course with that inner child. This child is trapped inside of a full-grown adult trying to figure out how to stay sober because, let’s face it, arrested development is a real thing. The moment we started self-medicating was the moment we stopped growing up.

When I got to my first residential inpatient treatment center, I was placed smack-dab in the middle of this enormous community of junkies. Some trying to get sober, others trying to avoid jail-time, and others there simply because they had no place to call home. The little boy inside me was terrified. Will I fit in? Is anyone going to like me? Will I be able to stay and graduate in six months?

Immediately I did what I’ve been doing my whole life: I blended in. I got with the “winners” because that’s what was recommended and I started acting like them. I got into recovery because they were all about recovery. I was familiar with the recovery-lingo already so that wasn’t an issue. I attended groups, I went to meetings, and wouldn’t you know it, I started walking like them and talking just like them. I kept my secrets to myself, I did everything in my power to impress the powers-that-be and I made sure that everyone knew how talented I was. Luckily for me, they had a band there. And guess what? They needed a piano player. This is going to work out just fine. I’ll just join the band, avoid getting into trouble and skate my way to graduation.

I’ve heard people say in recovery that sometimes you’ve got to fake it until you make it. They say that with the hopes that somewhere along the way, all that faking slowly turns in a real desire to be different. But if you’re used to lying all the time and wearing masks just to be accepted, if you’re used to being that chameleon and reading from a script, all that faking never really turns into anything legit and fruitful for your recovery. You kind of just set yourself up for failure. And that’s exactly what I did.

I graduated the program, but I enjoyed my time there so much that I decided to stay for another six months. I did that until the treatment center hired me. Can you believe that? They hired me! What a joke.

I wasn’t ready. I didn’t do the work required to stay sober. I was just “that guy.” “Star Boy” is what my friends called me there. I remember my roommate calling me “The Chosen One.” This is bad. But I got exactly what I wanted, so why the heck am I so miserable? Maybe because I never worked on growing up. I never confronted my inner child and dealt with the real core issues of my addiction. Getting sober is easy. Sobriety in general is simple. It’s the emotional sobriety and uncovering the layers of who I am and learning to love myself that’s paramount. I robbed myself of that journey. I took myself out of the game by choosing to be the coolest guy in rehab.

Here’s the thing about this treatment center. This isn’t the one you find nestled on the beach with your peer-led-groups, full-body massages, custom fruit smoothies, etc. This is the rehab you go to when you’ve exhausted all other resources. The one you end up in when you can no longer afford the nice treatment centers you see advertised on this site. This is the last house on the left; the one that doesn’t cost a dime. The homeless rehab in the same neighborhood you’ve been getting high in.

Congratulations, you’re the coolest kid in homeless rehab. Everyone bow down to the king of the bums. You made it.

It’s no surprise that the day I moved out of the place is the day I got high. I didn’t see it coming… but I saw it coming. You know what I mean.

It wasn’t long before I found myself knocking on the doors of the same facility to let me back in. I had nowhere else to go and heroin yet again had beaten me to a pulp. I remember getting out of detox and walking up the sidewalk. This guy that works there stopped me while I was walking in and asked me what I was going to do different. It was a rhetorical question because he didn’t wait for my answer. What came next was the single most important piece of advice I ever received. He didn’t say anything I hadn’t heard before but it was the first time I truly heard it and received it. I had beaten myself emotionally with this last relapse so badly that I truly believe my ears finally opened up. I was ready to listen and do something different.

He told me to forget about who I was. Forget about everything I think I know because I know nothing. All I know how to do is get high. He told me that I don’t know how to get sober. He told me to shut the hell up and listen. He said I had to do this for me and nobody else. He told me that I’m not here to impress anyone or make friends. He reminded me that I suffer from a disease that wants me dead. He told me that I didn’t come to an indigent rehab to play music; I came there to get sober.

I love him for that. I aspire to be like him one day. I admire him. His tongue is sharp and his recovery is sharper. His words haunt me every day. They keep me in check while I learn how to deal with the little boy deep within my soul.

Slowly but surely, the masks are coming off. This uncomfortable yet beautiful journey of self-discovery is full of rewards. Today I choose to stay sober and enjoy them as they come my way; never throwing in the towel on the days I don’t hit the mark.

If nobody told you today that they love you, fuck it, there’s always tomorrow.

View the original article at thefix.com

11 October 2018
Lady Gaga & WHO Director Pen Essay For World Mental Health Day

The duo call for additional treatment funding and the need for governments to better prioritize mental wellness in the essay.

Mental health issues are universal—and costly without proper treatment—so why is mental illness still a taboo subject?

That question is raised by Lady Gaga and Tedros Adhanom, director-general of the World Health Organization, in a new essay published in the Guardian on the eve of World Mental Health Day (Oct. 10): “800,000 people kill themselves every year. What can we do?”

This annual statistic translates to “more than the population of Washington, D.C., Oslo or Cape Town,” they write. “Sometimes they are famous names such as Anthony Bourdain or Kate Spade that make headlines, but they are all sons or daughters, friends or colleagues, valued members of families and communities.”

Globally, suicide is the second-leading cause of death among 15- to 29-year-olds, yet mental health receives less than 1% of global aid, they write.

This lack of funding translates to a higher cost overall—mental health issues cost $2.5 trillion a year globally, which will keep rising if they continue to be excluded from the conversation.

“Stigma, fear and lack of understanding compound the suffering of those affected and prevent the bold action that is so desperately needed and so long overdue,” they write.

Gaga (born Stefani Germanotta) and Adhanom urge governments to invest in mental health services, saying it will not only help individuals but benefit state coffers as well.

“Research shows there is a fourfold return on investment for every dollar spent on treating depression and anxiety, the most common mental health conditions, making spending on the issue a great investment for both political leaders and employers, in addition to generating savings in the health sector,” they write.”

Individuals have a part to play too, by supporting one another and urging lawmakers to make mental health a priority. “We can all help to build communities that understand, respect and prioritize mental wellness,” they write.

The essay cites local efforts that are moving the momentum in a positive direction, such as the ThriveNYC initiative in New York City.

Germanotta—who previously revealed that she lives with PTSD—spearheads the Born This Way Foundation, established in 2012, with her mother Cynthia Germanotta. The foundation focuses on young people with the goal of creating a “kinder and braver world.”

View the original article at thefix.com

10 October 2018
Maryland Funeral Directors: We're The "Last Responders" To Opioid Crisis

Funeral directors in the state claim that safety has become an issue when dealing with opioid overdose victims.

Proactive funeral directors in Maryland are stocking up on naloxone, the opioid overdose antidote, as they’ve seen a dramatic increase in the number of opioid-related deaths.

They’re calling themselves the “last responders” to Maryland’s opioid crisis, the Baltimore Sun reports.

In 2017, the Tri-County Funeral Directors Association launched an awareness campaign in local newspapers to notify communities that “We Don’t Want Your Business” when it comes to opioid abuse.

“We see a side of this tragic epidemic that many don’t see,” said association president James Schwartz. “The devastation families are facing is heartbreaking.”

Schwartz tells the Baltimore Sun that other funeral home directors have known not only family members, but funeral home guests “who have come and had either an opioid reaction in the parking lot or other areas during the service time.”

“This has caused the folks stress because not only are they grieving this person and now somebody else is having the same tragic result,” Schwartz said.

The National Funeral Directors Association urges members to protect themselves while handling deceased victims of opioid overdose.

“Coming into contact with a minuscule dose of fentanyl or carfentanil can be fatal,” the association warns. (This point is oft-repeated, but harm reduction and addiction/recovery advocates say it’s merely a harmful myth.)

“The opioid crisis presents unique challenges for funeral directors, from working with families whose loved one has died from an overdose to protecting themselves from harm when handling the body of an overdose victim during removal or embalming,” says the funeral directors association.

In 2017, opioid overdose deaths continued to climb in Maryland, accounting for the majority of drug/alcohol-related deaths—2,009 of 2,282 overdoses were opioid-related, according to the state’s Department of Health.

“This is an escalating epidemic,” said Baltimore Health Commissioner Dr. Leana Wen, whose city saw the worst of the opioid crisis. “But still we don’t even see the peak of this epidemic yet.”

In response, Maryland schools and libraries are also stocking up on naloxone. “The rule of thumb is: when in doubt, use it,” said funeral director Jeffrey L. Gair.

The antidote is there “if there’s ever the need while we’re on duty at the funeral home,” Gair said.

View the original article at thefix.com

10 October 2018