I didn’t exactly catch the holiday spirit, but I took a suggestion that kept me hanging on by my claws through the Next 12 Days of Christmas…
My depression didn’t entirely cause my alcoholism, but it certainly played a key role.
Candle light. Barry White. And my Fifth Step.
Better to face the discomfort than continue to trudge along under a false impression that it’s not dormant inside, oblivious to the ticking of the time bomb that will eventually go off.
When I asked people how they did it, I think a small part of me wanted to hear their solutions so I could study them and dismiss them.
I never realized I was the cause of my negative thinking by willfully trying to “make” my life happen then getting angry that everyone wasn’t doing what I wanted.
Before, negativity seemed to be the absolute truth and positivity felt forced. Now I experienced a place where neither was very relevant.
At night before I passed out, I would beg God to not let me wake up. And when I did, I felt betrayed.
Due to rules discouraging political discussion, AA members can’t discuss a wide-ranging fear: contracting COVID-19 from maskless science deniers. For a program requiring clear-eyed honesty, that’s a very bad thing.
If you rely on both your program tools and the messages from other spiritually centered writers to ask for guidance, you will receive it in a way that advances, not only your writing, but your spiritual maturity.