The responsibility to give honestly is my job; the responsibility to take honestly is theirs and not for me to determine. I could go crazy trying to decide which homeless person is worthy and which is not. It’s one of the odd truths about life in New York City that some days a homeless person… Continue reading You Can't Keep It Unless You Give It Away
Tag: AA
Death Threat: The Unique Dangers of Grieving in Recovery
Though I’ve developed tools for dealing with heartache and anguish in sobriety, this level of grief is a sadness on steroids against which I feel futile and frightened. My father’s older brother, Stephen Dale, died at age 69 in mid-August. He was more than the family’s patriarch; he was its ballast, its mooring. The home… Continue reading Death Threat: The Unique Dangers of Grieving in Recovery
AA's "How It Works" for Everyone
Women have had to endure a generic “He” for God all these years. I am not rewriting the Big Book. I am simply asking for a moment to honor my God as a She; for a moment of freedom to express my God as I understand God. After attending AA meetings for 12 years, I… Continue reading AA's "How It Works" for Everyone
In Praise of the Geographical Cure
For me, leaving was about survival and going back to supportive friends and family who had known me my whole life and who would give me a temporary place to stay. When I moved to the city of my dreams, I drove my Navy Subaru Impreza stuffed so full that I couldn’t see out of… Continue reading In Praise of the Geographical Cure
Using Love as a Drug
I used drugs and alcohol to control my feelings and gave up on relationships early on since people are harder to control than substances. As I felt the other person pull away, my urge to control increased. Recently I was sitting in a meeting with a little over two years sober, feeling completely insane. For… Continue reading Using Love as a Drug
How Do You Define "Recovery"?
Our time would be better spent trying to help people recover in whatever way is most effective for them rather than pushing and shaming everyone into one particular recovery pathway. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve heard someone say that a person might be sober, but that they’re not in recovery, or… Continue reading How Do You Define "Recovery"?
Russell Brand On Rock Bottom, Importance Of 12-Step Fellowship
“Sharing your story with another addict, as I did in my recovery, proved vital. Nothing I said to this person was too boring or terrible or trivial to him.” Russell Brand never shies from talking about his experience with addiction and recovery. Ahead of attending Wellspring, the three-day “wellness festival” happening in Palm Springs Oct.… Continue reading Russell Brand On Rock Bottom, Importance Of 12-Step Fellowship
7 Reasons Why I Thought AA Wasn't for "Someone Like Me"
By the end, as we stood in a circle holding hands, I thought: “This is a cult, right? This has to be a cult.” I remember the first meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous that I ever attended, about three years ago. I’ll be honest — I wasn’t the friendliest face at that meeting. I had a… Continue reading 7 Reasons Why I Thought AA Wasn't for "Someone Like Me"
The Most Important Person in the Room
There’s no need to worry about my career, or lack of intimate relationships, or future, or even quitting nicotine. I’m taking it easy, I’m in my first year of sobriety. Every time I relapse I forget I am not God. I am no longer able to allow the darkness to bloom into the grand external… Continue reading The Most Important Person in the Room
Setting Boundaries in Sobriety
Sobriety doesn’t come with a handbook. If it did, you’d have to be sober first to read it. People with addiction issues are not used to setting boundaries, especially when those boundaries involve behaviors we have reinforced for years. I spent years violating boundaries as a drunk. Particularly when it came to relationships. Piss me… Continue reading Setting Boundaries in Sobriety