I knew that when we divorced I had abdicated my rights to the family. But I still loved him as I had since childhood.
Tag: love
The Opioid Crisis Is Our Greatest Opportunity
Overdose survivors need more than a second (or third) chance: they need a parachute. When you’re in free fall, a little more time isn’t much help.
11 Ways to Heal a Broken Heart in Recovery
When your broken heart goes into cardiac arrest and your old “coping mechanisms” are more likely to lead you to flatline than recovery, try these 11 resuscitative tips and heal yourself. Heartbreak. At 14 or 54, we’ve all been there, but today we push through the pain, one-day-at-a-time, cold brew sober. And here’s what’s helping… Continue reading 11 Ways to Heal a Broken Heart in Recovery
An Addict’s Love Song to Her Son
He has seen me, his addicted mother, disappear into the night on wobbly ankles, drunken feet; he has seen me being calmed down by the police; he has seen me fall. “I love you” is my answer, my promise that I will not die. Our love for each other is overwhelming, addicting and addictive. The… Continue reading An Addict’s Love Song to Her Son
Setting Boundaries in Sobriety
Sobriety doesn’t come with a handbook. If it did, you’d have to be sober first to read it. People with addiction issues are not used to setting boundaries, especially when those boundaries involve behaviors we have reinforced for years. I spent years violating boundaries as a drunk. Particularly when it came to relationships. Piss me… Continue reading Setting Boundaries in Sobriety
Sober Romance: Why We Act Like Teenagers When It Comes to Relationships
So many people rush into relationships in early recovery. This may be related to neurochemistry: we’re suddenly deprived of the substances that made us feel good and we need to find a substitute. I’ve spent the last six and a half years of recovery wondering why I have been so emotionally immature when it comes… Continue reading Sober Romance: Why We Act Like Teenagers When It Comes to Relationships
Re-Balancing Act: How to Restore Marital Equilibrium in Recovery
Was I really at an AA meeting as I claimed, or was this the night that I—and all hope for our marriage—would vanish anew? For my wife Patricia and me, it’s been a long road to even. Ish. My wife said “I do” in April 2007 to a man who, despite depression and anxiety issues,… Continue reading Re-Balancing Act: How to Restore Marital Equilibrium in Recovery
Sex, Money, and Power in Recovery
What are the things you can’t live without in a relationship? Those are your needs. And what are the things you’d like but could live without? Those are wants. Romance and Finance. Two of the toughest things to manage in recovery—and the most likely to lead to a relapse. While someone with addiction can stay… Continue reading Sex, Money, and Power in Recovery
My Life with Phil
If anyone could relate to loneliness, abandonment, depression, it was Phil. We got each other. If my cat could talk, he’d say “You’re so fucking crazy.” Also, feed me, asshole. And not that gluten and grain-free slimy shit. Meow Mix from the corner bodega, where you’ll often spend seven dollars on an activated charcoal latte… Continue reading My Life with Phil
Dating While (Newly) Sober
When my sponsor told me about the suggestion to not date for a year, that I should just concentrate on getting sober, I said: “I’m a really good multi-tasker.” I thought that when I got sober, I’d get into the best shape of my life, start going to the gym all the time, train for… Continue reading Dating While (Newly) Sober