Tag: alcohol family support

  • My daughter or son is an alcoholic: What can I do?

    My daughter or son is an alcoholic: What can I do?

    Watching a child lose themselves in alcohol addiction can make parents feel helpless. If you suspect, “My child is an addict!”, there is no magic bullet or good advice that can stop an addiction and so when most people see their son or daughter slipping into alcoholism, they simply do not know how to stop it. Here, we review some practical suggestions in addressing a suspected alcohol problem within your family. We invite your questions about treatment or family therapies for addiction in the comments section at the end.

    STEP 1: The Old Ways May Not Be The Best

    Many parents, upon discovering their children have an alcohol problem, resort to traditional parenting reactions. They attempt to punish their child. This could be cutting them off from “bad friends”, Sending them to their room, Taking away privileges or even just getting angry and yelling. These methods may have worked in the past, but chances are, they will not work to treat an addiction. The two reasons for this are that, 1) if they are old enough to get alcohol, they are probably old enough to have some independence which means traditional punishments are harder to enforce. 2) Punishing an addict does nothing to fight the addiction. So, your first step is to recognize that what you used to do…is broken, and that you need to seek alternative ways of coping.

    STEP 2: Talk To Them

    People with an alcohol problem do not respond to anger, they respond to empathy. Someone who is drinking too much may already feel depressed or isolated, punishing them further really only serves to increase their urge to drink. The best way to approach an alcohol addiction is to talk to the person. Do not do this when they are drunk, wait until they are sober, and maybe even a bit hung over. Tell the person that you are worried about them, that you care for them and that you just want to help.

    Also remember to go to them with evidence and ideas. What this means is, before you speak to anyone about an alcohol addiction, it is important to gather evidence to prove they have a problem. No evidence means they can just deny everything. Once you have the evidence, the ideas come into play. Find a list of treatment options so you can have them ready for the talk. Ideas of the treatments available will show the addict that there is a way out. It is like offering a ray of hope.

    STEP 3: Take Action

    Once you have spoken to your child about a possible addiction to alcohol, it is time to take action. If you can, go with them to speak to a doctor about the condition, Speak to a counsellor or look at a treatment centre. All of these options can be effective in getting treatment but it may be hard to get your son or daughter to embrace them.

    If you are having trouble, speak to a doctor, counselor or treatment centre yourself. They can offer advice and some comfort. It is also a good idea to look into some family support groups. There are organisations out there that are designed to support the families of alcoholics. They are full of people just like you that have gone through it all before and may be able to help.

    You Can Only Do So Much

    Addiction is often called a family disease because it affects everyone around it, but when it comes to treating addiction, The Addict has to make the first move. If you have Offered help and provide your son or daughter with treatment options, there is not a lot more you can do. Most addicts that actually kick their habit do so because they decide to.

    If someone does not want to quit, there is very little that can be done to treat them. A good example of this is people in prison treatment programs. These people do not have access to drugs or alcohol for years at a time but once they get out many go right back to using. This is because they were forced to stop rather than choosing to stop themselves. Until someone decides they want to get better, they will not respond well to treatment. If your son or daughter is refusing treatment, attend family support meetings and get yourself some help and support. The only other thing you can do is keep encouraging the addict to go to treatment.

    The road is not easy

    This may not seem like an easy road or the answer most people want to hear but it is the truth. Having a child with an alcohol addiction is never easy but with help love and support, most people can get better. We invite your questions or comments in the section below and will try to respond to you personally and promptly.

    View the original article at addictionblog.org

  • 6 Ways of Helping Your Alcoholic Child

    6 Ways of Helping Your Alcoholic Child

    ARTICLE OVERVIEW: Finding out that your child has become addicted to alcohol is a challenging situation for any parent to face.  But where do you start to look for help? What treatment approach is the best? We answer these questions here and invite your questions at the end of the page.

    TABLE OF CONTENTS:

    Warning signs of alcohol addiction

    It is natural for parents to think that alcoholism only occurs in other households; however, addiction does not discriminate. Alcohol abuse can affect people at almost any age, from the teenage years to adulthood. It can also become a problem for any individual, regardless of income level, race, region or gender.

    Even straight-A students can fall prey to the dangers of alcohol abuse. The important thing is to watch for signs of abuse in order to know when it’s time to help an addicted child quickly and effectively.

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    Common signs among teenagers include:

    • A decreased interest in physical appearance.
    • Asking for money without a good explanation or stealing items.
    • Increased obsession with privacy, such as locking the bedroom door at all times.
    • Sudden lack of interest in schoolwork and other responsibilities or activities.

    Some common signs of addiction in all ages include the following:

    • Confusion
    • Decreased appetite and unexplained weight loss
    • Drowsiness
    • Memory problems
    • Sudden change in personality or behaviors, such as increased irritability

    Part of knowing how to help an addicted child is becoming aware of these signs and knowing when to intervene.

    How can you help?

    1. Research addiction and understand what it is.

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    If you want to truly help a child struggling with alcoholism, it is important not to avoid the problem. Some parents ignore the issue due to embarrassment or denial. Rather than blaming themselves or hoping the substance abuse will go away on its own, parents need to understand that their child’s alcoholism does not reflect on them; addiction is a disease.

    That’s right, a disease.

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    In fact, the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism defines problem drinking as more than one drink per day for women or more than 2 drinks per day for men. [1] Additionally, the organization goes on to describe alcoholism as severe problem drinking that requires diagnosis and intervention. [2] Browse this website to learn more about alcohol addiction, the most common and pervasive addiction on the planet. Or, ask us a question in the comments section below.

    2. Wait for a moment of sobriety.

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    It is important to talk to your child about the alcohol use. Approach your child when he or she is not currently using alcohol. An important part of knowing how to help an addicted child involves trusting your own instincts as a parent. Wait for a time when you are both calm and at ease, rather than letting emotions to spiral out of control. Instead of expressing accusation, talk calmly, yet seriously, about your concerns.

    3. Stop enabling behaviors.

    It is natural for parents to want to help their children, but alcoholic children need to learn to deal with the negative consequences of their behavior. Do not lie to teachers, bosses or other family members about your child’s alcohol abuse. Discuss the repercussions if your child does not stop abusing alcohol. For a teenager, this might mean having a car taken away. For a grown child, this could mean that you will no longer lend money or bail your child out of tricky situations. Knowing how to help an addicted child includes using your own knowledge of your family and the specific situation.

    4. Stage an intervention.

    Call us on the phone number listed here to learn more about this process. Usually, you meet with an addiction counselor or therapist before the intervention, but without your child. Together, you discuss how you’ll approach the child and what each of you will say. You can also discuss about possible reactions with the therapist.

    You may want to write down what kind of behaviors will not be tolerated and what will be the consequences if they appear, as well as writing down all the things that were lost after your child’s behavior has changed.

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    Keep in mind that an intervention is successful even if your child refuses to go to rehab, because at least the family has united to set a boundary. This means life will not be the same for your child, and a process has started that will one day result in him or her getting treatment.

    5. Seek treatment.

    If your child is unable to stop abusing alcohol on his/her own, it may be time to seek professional treatment.  Many rehab centers offer options for teenagers and younger patients. Inpatient treatment can help by removing your child from a harmful peer group and providing professional guidance and supervision during detoxification.

    6. Family therapy and support groups.

    In addition to learning how to help an addicted child, parents should also focus on the whole family. Dealing with an alcoholic child can be draining for any family, so it is also important to learn healthy coping mechanisms, avoid extra stress and seek support. Parents can benefit from support groups that specifically address the challenges faced by parents of alcohol abusers.

    What if your child doesn’t accept rehab?

    Offering help and providing your child with rehabilitation options may be all you can do. In most cases, people with drinking problems overcome addiction when they are too tired to fight anymore, when they are faced with too much pain, or when they realize that alcohol isn’t the answer. What do they all have in common?

    People who enter addiction recovery have made a decision to try something different. This decision is their own…you cannot force it.

    You should not put too much pressure on yourself if your child does not want to quit. If your treatment offers are contantly refused, you can work on doing research together to show him/her why they should get better. And, you can focus on yourself.

    Often, drinking problems exist as a red flag to dysfunction in a family or social system. Are there other things going on in the household that require your attention? What about your own mental health? Turn the magnifying glass inward, to yourself or to your family system. Start asking questions.

    Finally, even though your son or daughter might refuse treatment, you should continue visiting family support meetings and find help for yourself on how to deal with your inner struggles on this issue. The only other thing you can do is keep encouraging your child to go to treatment. But you also need to have a strong base of self-awareness and love. No one else can do this for you.

    Your questions

    Are you still afraid of addressing your child’s addiction?

    You are not alone.

    Please leave us your questions or comments in the section below. We’ll try to respond to you personally and promptly, or refer you to help.

    Reference Sources:[1] NIAAA: Drinking Definitions
    [2] NIAAA: Alcohol Use Disorder
    Ohio – Department of Youth Services: Project Know – Understanding your addiction: How to Help an Addict or Alcoholic Child
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    View the original article at addictionblog.org

  • Intervention for Alcoholism

    Intervention for Alcoholism

    ARTICLE OVERVIEW: An alcohol intervention is when a group of family and friendsconfront a loved one about problem drinking. In this article, we cover the basic aspects of an alcohol intervention, plus we offer tips on how to plan the whole process. Your questions are welcomed at the end.

    ESTIMATED READING TIME: 15 minutes

    TABLE OF CONTENTS:

    Interventions aim to change behavior.

    What is an Alcohol Intervention?

    Interventions are combination of strategies designed to produce behavior changes to improve an individual’s health. Interventions can take place in different settings such as worksites, schools, home, faith-based organizations, or health care facilities.Interventions that include multiple strategies are typically the most effective in producing the required change. [1]

    An alcohol intervention is the process of asking a loved one with a drinking problem to go to rehab. Interventions can be informal or formal. Informal interventions occur in the moment, and can be a simple discussion. A formal intervention is when a group of people confront the person in an effort to convince them to seek help for their alcoholism.

    An intervention for alcoholism has three main goals:

    1. To change the beliefs, attitudes, skills, and knowledge of the person.
    2. To increase social support and cooperation.
    3. To get the person into rehab.

    An intervention is most successful when led by a professional.

    Do Alcohol Interventions Work?

    Yes!

    Most people diagnosed with an alcohol use disorder don’t see that they have a problem. In fact, they are in denial, and don’t want to see reality as it is.

    But, you can help a loved one break through denial by staging an intervention. You may have only one chance to stage the intervention, and the best way to do it is with a help of intervention specialist.

    An interventionist is a professional who is trained in staging interventions. Their job is to help friends and family to create a plan. They are there to carry out the alcohol intervention. The best thing is that an interventionist will consider all potential issues that may arise. Their experience is truly valuable.

    Asking for help from a specialized interventionist is highly recommended if the person who is dealing with drinking problems has other serious condition including:

    • Mental health issues such as depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia
    • Polydrug use
    • Suicidal attempts
    • Violent behavior

    Interventions get people into treatment.

    The Intervention for Alcoholism Process

    Staging and planning an alcohol intervention is a long process. It can take a lot of time and energy for family and friends to prepare for the whole process. And if you want to do it right, plan to spend days to weeks with a professional getting ready for the big day. There are many types of intervention, but most of them follow these basic steps:

    STEP 1: Meet with an intervention specialist.

    Asking help from an interventionist can be the crucial step for the family. Licensed or certified professionals are experienced in choosing the right words and providing the right environment for change. They can help the family in understanding alcoholism as a disease, and offer the best approach to each specific case.

    STEP 2: Chose the right time and place for the intervention.

    An intervention can be set up in any place that provides privacy. This may be a neutral place like a rented space, an interventionist’s office, school, worksite, or even the alcoholic’s home. The important thing is that the loved one should not feel defensive or ambushed. You’ll need to invite the loved one to join the group meeting and be clear about what it’s about. This is called an “invitational intervention”.

    STEP 3: Plan ahead what will be said during the intervention.

    This is the most important step for a successful alcohol intervention. Each member should decide in advance what they will say. With the help of an interventionist, the group should gather information about the loved one’s drinking and their behavior when under the influence. Moreover, you’ll need to include situations when the alcoholic had outburst due to their drinking, as well as state how their drinking affectsyou. It is helpful to write down everything you wish to say, although sometimes, you can just speak from your heart.

    STEP 4: Carry out the intervention.

    This is when professional guidance is key. Once the individual is there, the interventionist will ask them to sit and listen to what is being said. Then, each member of the group will say or read the reasons why they believe that the individual have a drinking problem, and why they need treatment. Usually, the intervention ends with the group giving the individual option to choose either enroll into treatment and quit drinking or face consequences, such as cutting out financial or emotional support.

    The group also commits to their own health and well-being, as alcoholism is a family disease. A successful intervention has the potential to transform not just the person with a drinking problem, but an entire family. [2]Group members can seek help through talk therapy, self-care, and ongoing counseling.

    STEP 5: Follow up an intervention.

    After the intervention, the individual has a choice to make either quit drinking or face the consequences. The interventionist provides information about the treatment options and explains them to the alcoholic. In some cases, the specialist has already arranged an assessment in a suitable treatment center. No matter what is the outcome, the group must follow through their final decisions.

    Call us to learn how we do interventions.

    How to Stage an Alcoholism Intervention

    It can be hard to approach someone who deals with alcohol problems. Despite the fact that family and friends mean well, they may not know what to say or how to express themselves. In order to get through to a loved one, you need to make them see the problem. So, for a successful intervention, you need to plan every step ahead.

    Here are some useful suggestions to take into consideration when planning an alcohol intervention for your loved one. Remember that staging an intervention is the most important step. Careful planning and risk management can lead to success.

    Find a licensed interventionist. An intervention professional will know what to do in difficult situations. S/He will keep a“neutral zone” between the parties. A licensed professional can help the alcoholic break the wall of denial, and help them the best rehab option for them.

    • Form a good, stable intervention group. Choose members wisely. Many people may want to help, but not everyone is helpful. Avoid inviting group members who are negative or overly dramatic. Not everyone has the ability to persuade someone that they have a drinking problem. Once you form the dream team, the group works with the interventionist to create a strategy.

    • Education. One critical part of an intervention is to educate the group about addiction and recovery. Being familiar with the topic provides insights of the problem that can play a huge role in convincing someone that they need help.

    • Mind your language. Talk from the heart. Keep in mind that their trust in you is important, and it needs be felt through the whole intervention. By talking personally without judgment will make the intervention process flow easily. Moreover, be open with your feelings, and see how they resonate with you.

    • Rehearse and prepare. The members of the group must rehearse for the intervention. Every speech should be prepared and rehearsed many times with the help of the specialist. Setting the right tone and describing situations of past hurt may trigger moment of clarity to the addicted person and see their problems.

    • Be prepared for the worst. Keep in mind that some interventions don’t go as planned. You cannot predict how your loved one will act. A professional interventionist is there to keep the peace between the parties, and make the most positive outcome of the intervention. However, the person who is dealing with drinking problems may react aggressively and endanger the group. In that case, call 911 immediately.

    A successful intervention can change an entire family.

    Planning for Objections

    When you plan an intervention you need also to plan for objections. Identify in advance the objections to treatment that your loved one may raise. These objections will be answered during the intervention by the person who will lead the intervention. Every objection need to have a reasonable and workable response. The group needs to have prepared answers and plans in advance.Here are some examples of objections and their counters:

    OBJECTION:I can’t go to rehab. Who’s going to take care of my pet?
    RESPONSE:[NAME] has agreed to take your pet and look after them while you are away.

    OBJECTION:I can’t enroll into a program. Who’s going to take care of my home?
    RESPONSE:Your best friend has a key from your apartment, and s/he will come every 3-4 days to care for the home while you are away.

    OBJECTION: I can’t go into treatment. I have a job. I don’t want to lose my job.
    RESPONSE:You won’t lose your job. We have a law that protects you. The Americans with Disabilities Act protects you to maintain your working status when you seek medical help. [3] The law is clear that you have legal right to ask for accommodations when entering rehab.

    OBJECTION:I will be bored there. Rehab is not an option for me.
    RESPONSE:Rehab treatment has many program to offer you in order not to be bored, but to focus on building yourself and work on your recovery. Some of them offer [SERVCICES].

    Are you ready for an intervention? Call us today.

    Planning for Consequences

    A professional interventionist will help you determine which person has the most influence on the loved one who has leverage. When you have leverage, you have the power to precipitate actual consequences. Here are some examples of leverage that can be used in the right way and that will have consequences on the alcoholic’s life.

    1. The employer: “We respect you and value as an employee, but your drinking has caused you to miss 10 days of work in the last few months. We will do everything to help you, including helping you to access treatment because we have Employee Assistance Program. But, we cannot keep you as an employee if you miss work so often.”

    2. A spouse: “I love you, and I care about you, but I cannot raise our children in an alcoholic household. Our children are afraid from you when you come home late and drunk. If you don’t go into treatment, I’m going to have put the well-being of our children first, and start looking at other options, including divorce.”

    3. A parent: “The car you are driving is on my name. I don’t want to put your life in danger as well as of the lives of others because you are drunk driving. If you don’t go to rehab, I am taking the car today.”

    Environment matters.

    Alcohol Intervention at Home

    The place where the intervention will occur is important. Privacy and safety are first. The loved one needs to feel safe, because if they are concerned or uncomfortable, the intervention may turn negative. The loved one may become agitated, and lose their temper. For example, never ambush a person in a public spot to intervene about drinking issues.

    For many people, the safest place an interventioncan occur is at home. A cozy atmosphere increases security and safeness for every member of the intervention. However, some cases require a more neutral place like a rented space or a clinician’s office. This is true when triggers are in the home or when guns are present. Call us to learn more about safety precautions and how we manage environment for successful outcome.

    Why wait longer? Call today for a free and confidential consultation.

    Unique Attributes of an Alcoholic Intervention

    1 in 3 families is affected by addiction problems in the U.S. Alcohol is #1 on the list. 56% of Americans aged 18 and older are currently alcohol consumers, while 1 in 18 people have a drinking problem. [4]

    Still, it may be hard to reach someone and convince them that they have a drinking problem. Alcohol abuse changes the way a person thinks and sees life. Alcohol affect the way we process information…and if a person has become alcohol-dependent, their logic changes, too.

    Some people may get angry because an intervention may seem to be an ambush. However, if the intervention is planned appropriately and done correctly, the anger will calm down quickly. Even if the anger continues, a professional interventionist will keep the tone calm and neutral.

    Keep in mind that the intervention is not about you. The intervention is about your loved one, and the main point is getting them help and supporting them through this hard time.

    Get your loved one into treatment!

    The Best Intervention for Alcoholism

    There are many different types of interventions, but the best intervention for dealing with individual with is a customized intervention that will fit that individual’s needs. Below is a list of the most common types of clinical interventions used for drinking problems.

    ARISE

    An ARISE intervention is a relatively new system of intervention that involves the whole family but it’s less confrontational than a surprise model for intervention. The loved one is invited to the intervention and a set of clear steps then follow.

    Brief Intervention

    This intervention process is conducted as a one-on-one meeting between a medical professional/counselor and a person dealing with alcohol abuse. Usually, brief interventions take place in hospitals after the person has been admitted for an injure or overdose due to their substance use, or in schools if a student is suspected of drinking, or in a doctor’s office after an examination reveals health issues. Moreover, friends and family may ask professional to perform a brief intervention for their loved one.

    Crisis Intervention

    This type of intervention involves police officers providing social and medical resources to people who are abusing substances, suffer from a mental health disorder, or have dual diagnosis. A crisis intervention can lead to a public record with your state’s department of children and families, health, or social services.

    Family Systemic Intervention

    This model is focused on both the individual with AUD and their family. Having on mind that addiction affects every member of the family, this type of intervention intents the whole family to reach out for help in any form of therapy.

    SMART

    The main goal of this type of intervention is to set clear, measurable, and achievable goals for the intervention. This intervention can be applied as a part of follow-up in a family based intervention.

    The Johnson Model

    The most well-known form of intervention, the Johnson Model is designed to convince people dealing with alcoholism to enroll into a rehab program. The problem with this model is that it is a “surprise”.

    What’s your backup plan?

    When Alcohol Intervention Fails

    Be prepared that interventionscan fail.You cannot help someone who doesn’t want help. You cannot make them change.

    In this hard case scenario, it is important to stick with your planned intervention. Then, be patient. Some interventions take time and do-overs. How long will it take? Until the alcoholic realizes the negative consequences of their drinking and seek treatment. In the meantime, you need to take care of yourself.

    Call us for guidance on interventions. We know addiction.

    Get Help from a Professional Interventionist

    If you want your intervention to succeed, plan it with professional help from a licensed
    interventionist. Call us to learn about how we’ve helped hundreds of families over many decades of experience.

    Moreover, every interventionist no matter the model they are using, they will guide the intervention with the 7 important principles that any intervention for alcohol use disorder should follow:

    1. Meet with a certified interventionist.
    2. Plan in advance.
    3. Choose the right people to take part.
    4. Choose the right time for the intervention.
    5. Speak with respect and love, but never with anger.
    6. Follow through.
    7. Take care of yourself.

    Finally, there are several ways you can find certified interventionists:

    • Call us on the helpline displayed on our website.
    • Contact a community, religious, or spiritual leader for recommendations.
    • Get a referral from a doctor or therapist.
    • Speak with a social worker.
    • Search online on:

    Independent Interventionists
    Association of Intervention Specialists

    Don’t lose hope!

    Alcoholism is a treatable disease, and you can help your loved one change their mind about treatment. You only need help from the professionals.

    If you have any questions, post them in the comments section at the end. We try to respond personally and promptly to all legitimate queries.

    Call today. Treatment saves lives.

    Reference Sources:
    [1] Health.mo.gov: Intervention
    [2] The Definitive Guide To Addiction Interventions
    [3] U.S. Department of Labor: Americans with Disabilities Act
    [4] SAMHSA: The National Survey on Drug Use and Health 2015
    NCBI: Interventions with alcoholics and their families

    View the original article at addictionblog.org