Tag: alcoholism intervention

  • My daughter or son is an alcoholic: What can I do?

    My daughter or son is an alcoholic: What can I do?

    Watching a child lose themselves in alcohol addiction can make parents feel helpless. If you suspect, “My child is an addict!”, there is no magic bullet or good advice that can stop an addiction and so when most people see their son or daughter slipping into alcoholism, they simply do not know how to stop it. Here, we review some practical suggestions in addressing a suspected alcohol problem within your family. We invite your questions about treatment or family therapies for addiction in the comments section at the end.

    STEP 1: The Old Ways May Not Be The Best

    Many parents, upon discovering their children have an alcohol problem, resort to traditional parenting reactions. They attempt to punish their child. This could be cutting them off from “bad friends”, Sending them to their room, Taking away privileges or even just getting angry and yelling. These methods may have worked in the past, but chances are, they will not work to treat an addiction. The two reasons for this are that, 1) if they are old enough to get alcohol, they are probably old enough to have some independence which means traditional punishments are harder to enforce. 2) Punishing an addict does nothing to fight the addiction. So, your first step is to recognize that what you used to do…is broken, and that you need to seek alternative ways of coping.

    STEP 2: Talk To Them

    People with an alcohol problem do not respond to anger, they respond to empathy. Someone who is drinking too much may already feel depressed or isolated, punishing them further really only serves to increase their urge to drink. The best way to approach an alcohol addiction is to talk to the person. Do not do this when they are drunk, wait until they are sober, and maybe even a bit hung over. Tell the person that you are worried about them, that you care for them and that you just want to help.

    Also remember to go to them with evidence and ideas. What this means is, before you speak to anyone about an alcohol addiction, it is important to gather evidence to prove they have a problem. No evidence means they can just deny everything. Once you have the evidence, the ideas come into play. Find a list of treatment options so you can have them ready for the talk. Ideas of the treatments available will show the addict that there is a way out. It is like offering a ray of hope.

    STEP 3: Take Action

    Once you have spoken to your child about a possible addiction to alcohol, it is time to take action. If you can, go with them to speak to a doctor about the condition, Speak to a counsellor or look at a treatment centre. All of these options can be effective in getting treatment but it may be hard to get your son or daughter to embrace them.

    If you are having trouble, speak to a doctor, counselor or treatment centre yourself. They can offer advice and some comfort. It is also a good idea to look into some family support groups. There are organisations out there that are designed to support the families of alcoholics. They are full of people just like you that have gone through it all before and may be able to help.

    You Can Only Do So Much

    Addiction is often called a family disease because it affects everyone around it, but when it comes to treating addiction, The Addict has to make the first move. If you have Offered help and provide your son or daughter with treatment options, there is not a lot more you can do. Most addicts that actually kick their habit do so because they decide to.

    If someone does not want to quit, there is very little that can be done to treat them. A good example of this is people in prison treatment programs. These people do not have access to drugs or alcohol for years at a time but once they get out many go right back to using. This is because they were forced to stop rather than choosing to stop themselves. Until someone decides they want to get better, they will not respond well to treatment. If your son or daughter is refusing treatment, attend family support meetings and get yourself some help and support. The only other thing you can do is keep encouraging the addict to go to treatment.

    The road is not easy

    This may not seem like an easy road or the answer most people want to hear but it is the truth. Having a child with an alcohol addiction is never easy but with help love and support, most people can get better. We invite your questions or comments in the section below and will try to respond to you personally and promptly.

    View the original article at addictionblog.org

  • Family Addiction Intervention | Why an Invitation Is Always Best

    Family Addiction Intervention | Why an Invitation Is Always Best

    ARTICLE OVERVIEW: DO NOT ambush a loved one in an intervention. It will end with resentment. Instead, consider an explicit invitation. Here is how and why.

    ESTIMATED READING TIME: 10 minutes or less.

    TABLE OF CONTENTS:

    What Is a Family Intervention?

    A family addiction intervention might just be the best thing you ever spend your time and money on. But what is it? And why would you consider spending thousands of dollars on an intervention in the first place?

    An intervention is an invitation to change. The interventionist’s end goal is to get someone struggling with an alcohol or drug problem to enter treatment. As such, an intervention is a critical conversation. In some cases, this is a life or death conversation. And in the best cases, an intervention is a life-saving conversation.

    However, interventionists do not work one-on-one, as in individual counseling. Interventionists always work with groups, family systems. They do this for two reasons: first, addiction affects the entire family; second, groups provide a larger context and sphere of influence when combined. Change must take place in the context of people, places, things, thoughts, and feelings.

    A successful intervention has the potential to transform not just the identified client, but an entire family.

    I didn’t know about the efficacy of treating the entire family during an intervention until I started working with expert, Dr. Louise Stanger on the book we wrote together, “The Definitive Guide to Addiction Interventions.” But it totally makes sense: change happens on a systemic level. If we only expect one person to change, it won’t be sustainable.

    Evidence states it takes much longer than most people think to change a habit: an average of 66 days. The goal of professional interventionists is to work with the whole family system while the identified patient is in and out of primary treatment, so that all may change. Treatment gives people time to grow and change. The correct treatment or placement will also provide families with the help they need to disengage and rethink how they may love, as well.

    Why Use the Invitational Method?

    So, writing the book with Dr. Stanger also taught me about types of interventions. There are four current models of addiction intervention:

    1. The Surprise Model
    2. The Invitational Model
    3. The Systems Model
    4. The Action Model

    Of these, some elements work better than others. And the main point of advice I’d give to anyone who wants to plan an intervention is this:

    Stop ambushing people by surprising them with an addiction intervention!

    During typical interventions, members of the drug/alcohol user’s social network participate directly in the process, often secretly or without the person’s knowledge. These folks gather together and surprise the individual to ask her/him to go to treatment. The idea is that if a person is surprised they will have less time to ruminate and their defenses will be lowered. The theory is that when startled, a person ill be more likely to say, “Yes” to treatment.

    Nothing is further from the truth.

    Often, Surprise Model interventions generate great upset and distrust. As noted in the 2017 Surgeon General’s Report, “Facing Addiction in America”:

    “Confrontational approaches in general, though once the norm even in many behavioral treatment settings, have not been found effective and may backfire by heightening resistance and diminishing self-esteem on the part of the targeted individual.”

    People report feeling disrespected, ambushed, and shamed. They report feeling cornered or pressured into treatment. It’s no wonder that many of them drop out of treatment. In fact, dropout rates seem to increase as relapses occurred. Many identified loved ones who were subject to the Surprise Model of Intervention reported this type of rebellious thinking:

    “At first, I stopped my drug and alcohol use because of the pressure from the Intervention, but then I found myself thinking ‘I’m not going to be told what to do!’ so I started using again.”

    Just imagine, you’re struggling with a substance abuse or mental health disorder and a pack of people descends upon you. Well, we know that substance abuse and mental health disorders are beset with shame and feeling awful. If families choose set up an ambush or an adversarial relationship to begin, you’ve got to work through the resentment first.

    How Invitational Interventions Work

    I agree with Dr. Stanger, in that the best way to frame an intervention is by using The Invitational Model. In this model, you invite your loved one to a family meeting and rely on willing participation of all involved. According to founding practitioners, this style of intervention does not require threats or consequences; they state that less than 2% of families even talk about consequences. So, there are often no letters involved. No bargaining. No ambush.

    Instead, emphasis is on family education, developing strategy, and communication. The desired outcome is not only on treatment engagement of one person. The desired outcome also includes long-term, intergenerational family well-being and recovery.

    During an Invitational Intervention, the family has a Chairperson who helps organize members and works directly with the interventionist. The interventionist or clinician guides the family strategy and facilitates from between 2-5 face-to-face sessions. S/He completes a family genogram, conducts interviews with family member, coaches family members on crafting recovery messages, and directs conversations toward change. Some interventionists focus on a specific “Change Plan” customized to the ILO’s needs for treatment. Finally, the group invites the ILO to change. If there is no movement by the last meeting, the group sets limits and consequences in a loving, supportive way.

    To read a complete description of all intervention models, please order my book here.

    How to Do an Intervention

    The best way to do an intervention is with the help of a professional interventionist. The Intervention itself is a well-orchestrated event, a drama that is created and stylized. There are many skills that go into the intervention: counseling, social work, and psychotherapy are at the heart. Still, the main goal of the intervention is this:

    Interventions help move the identified loved one to change and to accept treatment.

    It is important to note that some interventionists stop there. Some interventionists are only interested in moving or getting someone to treatment. However, when interventionists drop you at this point, it can result in many negative outcomes:

    •  Complications
    •  Financial problems
    •  Increased complexity
    •  Legal problems
    •  Relapse
    •  Treatment drop-out

    Indeed, what happens after the intervention is equally important. A good interventionist will help you navigate through treatment, support group attendance (12-Step work, ALANON, ACA, Open A.A. Meetings, or SMART Recovery are most often used), and possibly dealing with refusal for treatment. You’ll need to continue to learn how to take care of yourselves as you deal with substance abuse, process disorders, physical issues, and mental health issues in the system.

    Families also need to learn to set healthy boundaries, for themselves and their loved ones. Family members may be referred out for care to family counselors, individual therapists, recovery coaches, or other behavioral/mental health care providers.

    The key point is this: follow up is crucial to the success of developing healthy family systems.

    So, select an interventionist who can use a systemic approach that includes case management and active coaching over time. From experience, it can take many months for a family to become “collective” and to operate in harmony again.

    Intervention Services Near Me

    There are a few ways you can identify the best person for your family.

    1. Search professional associations.

    The Network of Independent Interventionists (NII) and the Association of Intervention Specialists (AIS). list members’ credentials, licenses, and certifications for professional addiction interventionists. You can search member listings here:

    2. Seek a reference from a mental health professional.

    The National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence (NCADD) exists as the nation’s premier advocacy group for addiction treatment. This NGO recommends that you seek help from the following professionals for intervention services:

    •  An alcohol and addictions counselor
    •  An addiction treatment center
    •  Psychiatrist
    •  Psychologist
    •  Social Worker

    Some of these professionals may have experience in interventions themselves. Other times, a mental health professional can refer you to a colleague or someone with a good reputation in the field.

    3. Call us for help.

    The telephone number listed on this page will connect you to a helpline answered by American Addiction Centers (AAC). The helpline is offered at no cost and with no obligation to enter treatment. Caring admissions consultants are standing by to discuss your treatment options, which can include family intervention specialists. So, if you are ready to get help for you or a family member, reach out and pick up the phone.

    Your Questions

    Still have questions about how to hold a successful family intervention for addiction?

    Please reach out.

    You can leave your questions in the comments section at the end of this page. Or, you can call us on the phone number listed above. Whatever you do…do something. Nothing changes until something changes.

    View the original article at