The optimism generated by vaccines and falling infection rates has blinded many Americans to the deep sorrow and depression of those around them.
Tag: loss
The End
With each sip I take, my brain and body scream “you freaking alcoholic,” and I know at that moment I can no longer do this.
My Daughter / Myself
I would spend a decade trying to reconcile two feelings: complete hatred for the stranger who was living in my daughter’s body and total surrender to my love for her.
Their First Day of School Was My Last Day of Drinking
That day was the last time I bought into the lies that one drink will somehow not send me on that downward spiral to insanity and destruction of everything I love and care about. The kids were still sleeping when I woke up early just to start drinking. The wine was hidden in its usual… Continue reading Their First Day of School Was My Last Day of Drinking
11 Ways to Heal a Broken Heart in Recovery
When your broken heart goes into cardiac arrest and your old “coping mechanisms” are more likely to lead you to flatline than recovery, try these 11 resuscitative tips and heal yourself. Heartbreak. At 14 or 54, we’ve all been there, but today we push through the pain, one-day-at-a-time, cold brew sober. And here’s what’s helping… Continue reading 11 Ways to Heal a Broken Heart in Recovery
Let’s Get Real: How To Handle the Tough Stuff in Recovery Without Using
Of course, people had good reason to think that I couldn’t handle upsetting news. Every time a hardship, breakup, or something unsettling happened, I wound up in the psych ward, detox, ER, or a bloody, tear-filled mess. When I was drinking, I was the girl who took pulls of rail vodka right from the bottle.… Continue reading Let’s Get Real: How To Handle the Tough Stuff in Recovery Without Using
Do AA's Promises Come True?
After completing the 12 steps, a long-time member of AA shares his experience of the 9th step promises. Russell Brand recently released his own creative interpretation of AA’s Twelve Steps. As a recovering alcoholic myself (since 12/30/1983), I admire how he captures the essence of the program, while still more or less respecting its tradition… Continue reading Do AA's Promises Come True?
The Walk
I can effectively express two emotions, anger and rage, and if someone fucked with my little girl, they would be getting a double load of both. I hadn’t been back in the free world a month, but I was rolling. This time I was flat, no parole, no PO to fuck with, no fines, nothing.… Continue reading The Walk
Shame, Alcoholism, Stigma, and Suicide
In addiction treatment circles, conventional wisdom suggests we have to let people hit rock bottom before we can help them. But what happens if rock bottom is dying from suicide? Historical records as far back as ancient Athens have the underpinnings of the stigmatization of suicide. In 360 BCE, Plato wrote that those who died… Continue reading Shame, Alcoholism, Stigma, and Suicide
An End to the Parent-Child Role Reversal: Taking Care of Me
When my dad drank, he folded in on himself and quietly disappeared. When this happened, I’d wait patiently for his return while dreaming up myriad ways to make his life better. There was a little more than a week to go before my wedding day. Left on my to-do list was an array of tasks:… Continue reading An End to the Parent-Child Role Reversal: Taking Care of Me
