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Tag: parents with addiction

  • Demi Moore And Family Open Up About Her Addiction: "A Monster Came"

    Demi Moore And Family Open Up About Her Addiction: "A Monster Came"

    “She would be a lot more affectionate with me if she wasn’t sober,” Tallulah Willis says.

    Actress Demi Moore and her three daughters sat down with Jada Pinkett Smith, Willow Smith, and Adrienne Banfield-Jones on Red Table Talk and took some time to discuss Moore’s struggles with addiction and how it has impacted her family.

    Tallulah Describes The Anxiety She Felt When Demi Wasn’t Sober

    The Ghost star began to struggle with substance use in her early 20s and suffered a relapse in her 40s that alarmed her daughters.

    “It’s like the sun went down and like, a monster came,” said Tallulah, the youngest of the three. “I remember there’s just the anxiety that would come up in my body when I could sense that her eyes were shutting a little bit more, the way she was speaking. Or she would be a lot more affectionate with me if she wasn’t sober.”

    “It was just jarring,” added Rumer, the eldest.

    Her Mother’s Overdose

    Moore’s experiences with addiction began when she was a young child, long before she took anything herself. Her own mother was addicted to pills. In an interview with Lena Dunham in September, she told a harrowing story about digging pills out of her mom’s throat with her fingers in order to save her from an overdose.

    “The next thing I remember is using my fingers, the small fingers of a child, to dig the pills my mother had tried to swallow out of her mouth while my father held it open and told me what to do,” she said. “Something very deep inside me shifted then, and it never shifted back. My childhood was over.”

    Recalling her own childhood, Moore made the decision not to do the same to her daughters, and with their support, dedicated herself to recovery.

    “It Was Not The Mom That We Had Grown Up With”

    “My daughters offered me an opportunity to start to change the generational pattern,” she told Dunham. “To be able to break the cycles.”

    This decision has been a relief to her daughters, who didn’t recognize the person their mother became when she started drinking again.

    “It was very weird, and there were moments where it would get angry,” Tallulah said. “I recall being very upset and kind of treating her like a child and speaking to her like a child. It was not the mom that we had grown up with.”

    Moore released her memoir, Inside Out, just days after her interview with Dunham. In the book, she reveals how much she struggled with her divorce from her ex-husband Ashton Kutcher and that her self-neglect had a negative impact on her relationship with her daughters.

    Thankfully, according to a source that spoke to PEOPLE, their relationship recovered and is now strong, with Moore dedicating herself to making it even better.

    “Now, she has a beautiful relationship with all of her daughters,” the source said. “Demi feels bad about the years when she wasn’t healthy. She really tries to make up for it now.

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • Father Pens Powerful Obituary For Daughter Who Died Of Overdose

    Father Pens Powerful Obituary For Daughter Who Died Of Overdose

    The mother of four passed away during a rehab stay in New Hampshire at the age of 31.

    A Vermont father shed light on the issue of separating families impacted by substance abuse by sharing his late daughter’s experience as a mother of four.

    Megan Webbley died on September 29 at a treatment facility in New Hampshire. She was 31 years old. Her obituary, written by her father Edwin Webbley, was published recently in Vermont’s local Seven Days alt-weekly.

    Mr. Webbley did not hide the fact that Megan struggled with substance use disorder. “Specifically, she died of an overdose, finally losing her battle with addiction,” he wrote. “She was in Manchester, NH, seeking treatment for her addiction. We have no clear picture of what went wrong.”

    He described his daughter’s empathy, love for music and dancing, and her “big smile and an infectious laugh”—though “shadowed by opiate addiction.”

    Megan was a mother to four children, who were “collectively the light of her dark life.” Her father remembered a happy moment in 2018 she spent playing in the pool with her children. “It was at that point when she was the happiest we had seen her in years.”

    Her Addiction Journey

    Megan’s battle with substance use disorder began with a severe accident in 2005, where she fell off of a cliff—“I was told that she had been pushed off the cliffs and hit the rocks below.” She was stitched up and her jaw was wired shut.

    “They suspected a (traumatic brain injury), but when they prescribed her liberal doses of opiates, she lost control of her life. She would be in and out of rehab—and jail—for the next 14 years,” Mr. Webbley wrote.

    A Plea To Stop Separating Parents With Addiction From Children

    He concluded by shedding light on the harrowing experience of losing custody of one’s children because of a substance use disorder.

    “To editorialize, I am hoping that the Department for Children and Families (DCF) rethinks its mission to be the punisher of addicted mothers, the separator of families and the arbiter of children’s futures, and instead embrace a mission of enhanced rehabilitation,” he wrote.

    “We, as a state, are overwhelmed by addiction. We have almost nowhere to turn. I encourage enhanced funding for treatment in general and using DCF as a gateway for mothers with addiction to get help. Because, as one would guess, once the mother is separated from her children, desperation sets in, even with the brightest and most determined of mothers—and Megan Angelina Webbley was that bright and determined mother…with a fatal disease and a dearth of treatment options.”

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • Sesame Street Tackles Addiction With Help From New Muppet Karli

    Sesame Street Tackles Addiction With Help From New Muppet Karli

    Karli was introduced this year as a muppet in foster care who is living with her “for-now parents” while her mother is in treatment.

    It’s not easy explaining substance use disorder to a child. But in the upcoming season 50 of Sesame Street, the children’s show approaches the sensitive subject with Karli, a new muppet who is in foster care.

    Karli was introduced in May as part of the Sesame Street in Communities initiative, which is aimed at helping families navigate difficult subjects with kids like autism, divorce and homelessness.

    Karli was introduced this year as a muppet in foster care who is living with her “for-now parents” Dalia and Clem while her mommy is away. “Karli’s mommy has been having a hard time, so we are her foster parents or her for-now-parents,” Dalia explained in a video titled “You Belong.”

    “We will keep her safe until her mommy can take care of her again.”

    Karli’s Mom Returns

    In a clip from September, we learn that Karli’s mom is back. “Elmo knows that Karli’s mommy was away for a while. But now she’s back,” Elmo says, sitting next to his dad on a park bench. “Karli’s mommy looks and acts different than she did before.”

    When Elmo asks why she had to go away, his dad replies, “Karli’s mommy has a kind of sickness. And she had to get some help.” He continued, “Karli’s mommy has a disease called addiction. Addiction makes people feel like they need a grown up drink called alcohol or another kind of drug to feel okay. That can make a person act strange in ways they can’t control.”

    Elmo pauses, then asks, “But, why doesn’t she just stop?”

    His dad explains, “It’s not something you can just stop doing. Not without help from the right grown ups.”

    Karli’s Mom Goes To Support Meetings

    We learn more about Karli’s mom in a recent clip, where she and Chris (the nephew of Gordon and Susan, two original residents of Sesame Street) explain to Elmo that her mom goes to meetings to talk about her problems.

    Chris says, “Karli’s mom has been having a hard time, so in order to help her get better, she goes to a meeting with her group. They all sit in a circle.”

    Karli adds, “They talk about grown-up problems. She goes every day so that she stays healthy. You see, well, my mom needs help learning to take better care of herself so she talks to people with the same problem.”

    Resources For Parents, Guardians

    Karli reveals that she also goes to “a special kids only meeting. Our parents all have the same problem.”

    The Sesame Street in Communities website offers a range of resources covering other topics like traumatic experiences, self-care and community violence.

    Check out their resources about Parental Addiction here.

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • Parenting 101: Telling Your Kids About Your Drug History

    Parenting 101: Telling Your Kids About Your Drug History

    The Fix spoke to parents about how they handled talking to their kids about their histories with drugs and alcohol.

    As a parent, how would you approach talking about drugs and alcohol with your teenager? How would you navigate being honest with them about it without promoting drug use?

    Recently on Slate’s Care and Feeding parental advice column, a reader submitted this very question to columnist Nicole Cliffe.

    “Should we tell our son about our own past and not-so-past drug use? Particularly drug use as teens? Though it’s been years, we’ve both done it all and did quite a lot as teens.”

    Cliffe responded simply, “I think you can and should find a happy balance that works for you.”

    It’s good to be honest with your child, but there’s a right and a wrong way to do it. Keep it simple, Cliffe says, and make sure they know they can be honest with you too.

    We asked a couple of parents their thoughts on the matter. (They have asked to remain anonymous.)

    What Parents Say

    Julie, a mother from Bath, Maine, agrees that honesty is the best policy in raising her nine year old daughter. “I would tell her everything. Obviously when the time is right,” she said. Julie tried cocaine while working as a bartender in New York City and started smoking marijuana in college. “It really helps me with my anxiety and depression.”

    “As far as telling my child about my drug use, I feel I have an open enough relationship with her to discuss almost anything,” said William, a father to a seven-year-old in New York City. He gave up marijuana when his daughter was born. Before that, he’d tried acid and cocaine when he was younger.

    Both Julie and William say they will be open to having “the conversation” when the time is right. “I experimented and I would hope if she does, she would tell me,” said Julie. “Transparency and communication is very important especially during the teenage years.”

    “I’d feel quite open to telling her honestly about my own experiences with drug use and experimentation, but in no way would I glamorize it,” said William. “I think speaking objectively and leaving out my personal likes or dislikes about drugs would be the best way to approach things.”

    History of Substance Use Disorder

    Allison, a mom to a 13-year-old in Los Angeles, has “tried everything.” But having a history of dependence on alcohol and opioids like heroin and oxycodone (“my most serious and long-lasting addiction”) allowed Allison to approach the subject with her son from a place of experience. 

    “In my case, I learned I was using drugs to self-medicate underlying depression and trauma so when I started discussing addiction with my son, it was in that context,” she told The Fix. “We probably started talking about it when he was younger, maybe 9 or 10, but in terms that he could understand and contextualize.”

    Allison discussed substance use disorder with her son in the context of mental health, and made sure that from a young age, he understood not to judge people who use drugs. “He also understands the dangers of alcoholism because my father died from liver disease related to alcoholism before he was born and I never hid that,” she said. 

    By keeping the conversation open, her son probably has a better understanding than most kids about drugs, substance use disorder, and the role that mental health plays in all of that. Her son is “different” from her 13-year-old self, who had already smoked pot, cigarettes, and was ready to try alcohol by that age.

    But if, or when, that changes, Allison says, “I feel like he has the knowledge and tools to deal with it when it comes up, and hopefully he will feel like he can talk to me about it.”

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • Parents Detail How They Told Their Children Abour Past Drug Use

    Parents Detail How They Told Their Children Abour Past Drug Use

    The Fix spoke to parents about how they handled talking to their kids about their histories with drugs and alcohol.

    As a parent, would you feel comfortable sharing with your child the extent of your past (and/or present) drug use? If you would, how would you navigate being honest with your teenager about it without promoting drug use?

    Recently on Slate’s Care and Feeding parental advice column, a reader submitted this very question to columnist Nicole Cliffe.

    “Should we tell our son about our own past and not-so-past drug use? Particularly drug use as teens? Though it’s been years, we’ve both done it all and did quite a lot as teens.”

    Cliffe responded simply, “I think you can and should find a happy balance that works for you.”

    Keep It Simple

    Basically, it’s good to be honest with your child, but there’s a right and a wrong way to do it. Keep it simple, Cliffe says, and make sure they know they can be honest with you too.

    We asked a couple of parents their thoughts on the matter. (They have asked to remain anonymous.)

    Julie, a mother from Bath, Maine, agrees that honesty is the best policy in raising her nine year old daughter. “I would tell her everything. Obviously when the time is right,” she said. Julie tried cocaine as a bartender in New York City and started smoking marijuana in college. “It really helps me with my anxiety and depression.”

    “As far as telling my child about my drug use, I feel I have an open enough relationship with her to discuss almost anything,” said William, a father to a seven-year-old in New York City. He gave up marijuana when his daughter was born. Before that, he’d tried acid and cocaine in his adolescence.

    Both Julie and William say they will be open to having “the conversation” when the time is right. “I experimented and I would hope if she does, she would tell me,” said Julie. “Transparency and communication is very important especially during the teenage years.”

    “I’d feel quite open to telling her honestly about my own experiences with drug use and experimentation, but in no way would I glamorize it,” said William. “I think speaking objectively and leaving out my personal likes or dislikes about drugs would be the best way to approach things.”

    Allison, a mom to a 13-year-old in Los Angeles, has tried it all. Having a history of dependence on alcohol and opioids like heroin and oxycodone (“my most serious and long-lasting addiction”), Allison was able to approach the subject with her son from a place of experience. 

    Mental Health & Substance Use Disorder

    “In my case, I learned I was using drugs to self-medicate underlying depression and trauma so when I started discussing addiction with my son, it was in that context,” she told The Fix. “We probably started talking about it when he was younger, maybe 9 or 10, but in terms that he could understand and contextualize.”

    Allison discussed substance use disorder in the context of mental health, and made sure that from a young age, her son understood not to judge people who use drugs. “He also understands the dangers of alcoholism because my father died from liver disease related to alcoholism before he was born and I never hid that,” she said. 

    By keeping the conversation open, her son probably has a better understanding than most kids about drugs, substance use disorder, and the role that mental health plays in all of that. Her son is “different” from her 13-year-old self, who had already smoked pot, cigarettes, and was ready to try alcohol by that age.

    But if, or when, that changes, Allison says, “I feel like he has the knowledge and tools to deal with it when it comes up, and hopefully he will feel like he can talk to me about it.”

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • Jada Pinkett Smith Gets Candid About Father's Addiction Struggles

    Jada Pinkett Smith Gets Candid About Father's Addiction Struggles

    “Once he did get sober, he was really a gentle soul. Now that I’m older, I have so much more compassion in knowing what he had gone through,” said Jada Pinkett Smith about her late father.

    Actress Jada Pinkett Smith opened up last week with tough memories about her father and his struggle with addiction before his 2010 death from a drug overdose, according to USA Today.

    Joined by her mother, daughter and half-brother Caleeb, Pinkett Smith delved into the “shared source of pain” during her Facebook Watch show Red Table Talk, which drew more than 5 million views in less than a week. 

    “He told me at 7, ‘I can’t be your father. I’m a criminal, I’m an addict and that’s just what it is,’” the 47-year-old Matrix actress said. Growing up, she said, Robsol Pinkett Jr.’s addiction was a source of resentment for the rest of the family.

    “We had that feeling like we had to be responsible for him,” Pinkett Smith said, “but he never had to be responsible for us, and that was a hard pill for me to swallow.”

    For years, the family weathered his abusive behavior, even when at times he was “typically drunk,” Pinkett Smith said. Eventually, though, he sobered up. 

    “Once he did get sober, he was really a gentle soul,” she said. “Now that I’m older, I have so much more compassion in knowing what he had gone through.”

    Then, just before his death, the actress and her father got in a fight.

    “The most difficult part of him dying like that is because he and I had had a horrendous fight when I found out that he relapsed,” she said. “I was like, ‘I don’t owe you nothing. You didn’t do shit for me, you didn’t do shit for Caleeb. I don’t owe you nothing.’ It was one of those.”

    It was only after he died that Pinkett Smith and her siblings were able to find forgiveness. 

    “I had the most startling realization that Rob’s life wasn’t about him being my father,” she said. “Rob’s life was about Rob being on his journey, and it just so happened along the way that he gave me life.”

    It was an “aha” moment, she said.

    “I realized he was not born to be my dad,” she explained. “That wasn’t the only thing he was here to do. He’s a person first, with his own journey.”

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • In-School Services Offered To Students Impacted By Opioid Addiction

    In-School Services Offered To Students Impacted By Opioid Addiction

    More than 50 schools in Massachusetts offer in-school counseling services to students with parents who are battling opioid addiction. 

    Maddy Nadeau’s childhood was less than ideal. Her mother often could not care for her, leaving her older sister to do the job when she came home from elementary school. 

    Maddy is one of many children affected by a parent’s substance use disorder, according to NPR. 

    Luckily, her school is taking steps to help her overcome the trauma of such a childhood. In October, Congress allowed for $50 million annually for five years to be allotted to mental health services in schools for children affected by the opioid epidemic.

    The girls eventually entered a foster home, which led to an adoption. Sarah Nadeau, their adoptive mother, told NPR both girls struggled with depression and anxiety, as well as performance in school. Maddy had a hard time especially, as she was exposed to opioids while in utero.

    “That makes it very difficult for her brain to settle down enough to do more than one task at a time,” Nadeau told NPR.

    Counselors at schools such as Maddy’s are employed by Gosnold, which is a substance use disorder treatment provider in Massachusetts. According to NPR, more and more schools are starting to screen and treat students who are considered at risk for opioid use disorder, as well as offer mental health services for those who have been affected by it.

    “Schools have more kids who cannot access the learning environment,” Sharon Hoover, co-director of The National Center for School Mental Health at the University of Maryland School of Medicine, told NPR.


    According to Hoover, having such services in schools is proving effective.
”This is considered a preferable model of care,” she said. “The kids show up for treatment services because they’re not relying on a family member to take them somewhere in the community.”

    Though the services are new, data demonstrates counseling for at-risk students leads to fewer absences and better academic performance. Massachusetts schools using Gosnold counselors say their students are performing better academically and emotionally. Sarah Nadeau says this is the case for her girls.

    “Their day runs smoother. They can get out their anxiety while they’re in school instead of bottling it up, and then go back to class and continue learning,” she told NPR.

    Each participating school pays Gosnold for the counselors, and students’ insurance covers the individual sessions. If a student does not have insurance or it will not cover the cost, Gosnold absorbs that cost. Currently, more than 50 schools in Massachusetts offer such services. 

    “I wish that more schools offered it because the epidemic is everywhere,” says Sarah Nadeau. “For a lot of these kids, school is the only place that is stable. They get their lunch here, they get their education here, so why not give them their support while they’re here at the school?”

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • Kevin Hart Details Forgiving His Father For Being Absent Due To Addiction

    Kevin Hart Details Forgiving His Father For Being Absent Due To Addiction

    With the help of his older brother, Hart eventually put aside his feelings and helped his father find help in rehabilitation.

    Comic actor Kevin Hart spoke at length about the process of forgiving his father, Henry Witherspoon, for being absent during his childhood due to drug and alcohol dependency.

    The Night School star wrote about his father, Henry Witherspoon, in his 2017 memoir I Can’t Make This Up, and said that while his father’s presence while he was growing up was both sporadic and prone to tumult, he has learned to look beyond those memories and focus on their relationship today.

    “Regardless of my upbringing and the way I was raised and how often he was in my life, he’s my dad,” said Hart. “I have a positive outlook on life regardless, and I’m going to love [him] because [he’s] my father.”

    Hart also detailed the difficulties in his relationship with his father in a 2016 interview with Howard Stern, where he explained that while he was growing up in Philadelphia, Witherspoon was dependent on “heroin, coke, crack, you name it, he did it.”

    According to Hart, Witherspoon even stole $20 that his son had received as a gift.

    Thankfully, Hart had a grounding force in his mother, who worked as a computer analyst at the University of Pennsylvania while raising him and his brother.

    “The reason I am the way I am is because my mom was so strong,” he said. “[She] was such a strong woman, she said, ‘Look, regardless of whatever your father’s doing and where he is, I have a job to do raising you. You’re going to do what you’re supposed to do and you’re going to grow up to be two intelligent men, me and my brother.”

    With the help of his older brother, Hart eventually put aside his feelings about his father’s absence and helped him find help in rehabilitation.

    There, according to Hart, “he met an amazing woman who turned his life around and helped him stay clean, and right now, he’s all about clean living.”

    Hart added that he saw no value in holding on to the pain of the past. “I don’t understand people who hold grudges,” he said. “Do you know how much time and energy it takes to hold a grudge?”

    Today, Witherspoon has a presence in his sons’ lives, for which Hart is grateful.

    “I’m in a position where I’m blessed and I can provide,” he explained. “I can say, ‘Here, dad, here’s a home, here’s a car, here’s some money. Go spend time with your grandkids. Be the best grandpop. The days you missed with me are the days we missed. It’s fine. I’m okay with that.”

    View the original article at thefix.com