Even though it’s a positive change, adjusting to marriage with a newly sober spouse is a challenge. Some situations are a little tricky to navigate. After being with my husband for 15 years, it might seem like there would be few suprises left. We have the kind of relationship that includes conversations like, “Hey, Harmony,… Continue reading The Rules of Marriage…In Recovery
Tag: relationships
Married to a Normie: Relationship Rules
Even though it’s a positive change, adjusting to marriage with a newly sober spouse is a challenge. Some situations are a little tricky to navigate. After being with my husband for 15 years, it might seem like there would be few suprises left. We have the kind of relationship that includes conversations like, “Hey, Harmony,… Continue reading Married to a Normie: Relationship Rules
Beautiful Boy: An Interview with Nic Sheff
“A really cool expression of the family bond in the film is how the love survives everything that the disease can throw at it. Despite so much trauma, at the very end, you see that that core love never goes away.”The journey from addiction to recovery is a personal one, with details usually confined to… Continue reading Beautiful Boy: An Interview with Nic Sheff
Sober Dating: Overcoming Triggers & Temptations
The date turned out to be a boobytrap of triggers that I wasn’t totally prepared for. But mindfulness, resilience, accountability – recovery – kicked in when I needed it most. I startled as my phone buzzed a text against my thigh. It was my date. “I’m late, but I’ve got tacos!” Relax, I urged myself,… Continue reading Sober Dating: Overcoming Triggers & Temptations
Setting Boundaries in Sobriety
Sobriety doesn’t come with a handbook. If it did, you’d have to be sober first to read it. People with addiction issues are not used to setting boundaries, especially when those boundaries involve behaviors we have reinforced for years. I spent years violating boundaries as a drunk. Particularly when it came to relationships. Piss me… Continue reading Setting Boundaries in Sobriety
Sober Romance: Why We Act Like Teenagers When It Comes to Relationships
So many people rush into relationships in early recovery. This may be related to neurochemistry: we’re suddenly deprived of the substances that made us feel good and we need to find a substitute. I’ve spent the last six and a half years of recovery wondering why I have been so emotionally immature when it comes… Continue reading Sober Romance: Why We Act Like Teenagers When It Comes to Relationships
Re-Balancing Act: How to Restore Marital Equilibrium in Recovery
Was I really at an AA meeting as I claimed, or was this the night that I—and all hope for our marriage—would vanish anew? For my wife Patricia and me, it’s been a long road to even. Ish. My wife said “I do” in April 2007 to a man who, despite depression and anxiety issues,… Continue reading Re-Balancing Act: How to Restore Marital Equilibrium in Recovery
Sex, Money, and Power in Recovery
What are the things you can’t live without in a relationship? Those are your needs. And what are the things you’d like but could live without? Those are wants. Romance and Finance. Two of the toughest things to manage in recovery—and the most likely to lead to a relapse. While someone with addiction can stay… Continue reading Sex, Money, and Power in Recovery
My Life with Phil
If anyone could relate to loneliness, abandonment, depression, it was Phil. We got each other. If my cat could talk, he’d say “You’re so fucking crazy.” Also, feed me, asshole. And not that gluten and grain-free slimy shit. Meow Mix from the corner bodega, where you’ll often spend seven dollars on an activated charcoal latte… Continue reading My Life with Phil
Dating While (Newly) Sober
When my sponsor told me about the suggestion to not date for a year, that I should just concentrate on getting sober, I said: “I’m a really good multi-tasker.” I thought that when I got sober, I’d get into the best shape of my life, start going to the gym all the time, train for… Continue reading Dating While (Newly) Sober