Answer Addiction

Tag: understanding addicts

  • How Can I Explain Addiction To My Spouse?

    How Can I Explain Addiction To My Spouse?

    ARTICLE OVERVIEW:  They know you need help. You might feel defensive. But how can you open up the conversation to talk about addiction in a non-judgmental way? We explore what addiction really is so that you are well prepared and informed first.

    TABLE OF CONTENTS

    What Is Addiction, Really?

    Before we begin, we think it’s a good idea to review just what addiction is. If you’re caught up in too much drinking or drug use…you are not a bad person! Addiction is a medical condition. It is treated medically…and can be overcome. How do you know you have a problem, or not?

    Addiction can be recognized by two basic indicators. Usually, addiction is present when you end up drinking or using more drugs than you planned. But the hallmark sign of a problem is when you continue to use despite negative consequences in your life. 

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    Addiction is a disease that changes people’s brain affecting key areas responsible for judgment, memory, and behavior. Looking at addiction as a disease might help you and those around you understand that addiction is not anyone’s fault! Addiction is a disease that takes place within the brain and body. Knowing that addiction takes over a person’s life can your friends and loved ones better understand the complexity of these disease.

    The Reasons Behind Addiction: What Makes You Addicted?

    I started asking myself this very question about a decade ago when I was in early recovery. Why did I get addicted…and my sisters can drink normally? Why and how is my brain different? What does my family or my past have to do with my drinking and drugging patterns?

    Well, the answers to my questions are not so clear.

    Many addiction studies have concluded that substance use disorders are genetically originated and run through families. But genes are not the only factor which determines a susceptibility to addiction. According to one Swedish study conducted in 2012, out more than 18,000 adopted children born between 1950 and 1993, risk for addiction was found to be significantly increased in adopted children with biological parents who experienced addiction problems. [1]

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    However, addiction is not solely influenced by genetics. Socio-cultural factors and the surroundings you grow up in play a significant role in the formation of addiction disorders. Peer pressure and the need to fit in social groups are some of the key risk factors for the development of addiction among teenagers and adolescents. Family birth order, your parents’ marital harmony, and your own personality also have roles.

    The influence of these multiple factors gives us a clue that addiction should not be seen as a weakness, or a characteristic flaw, but rather than a complex disease influenced by many factors. The compulsive nature of addiction makes people hooked on a drug-of-choice for a reason. Drugs and alcohol solve many of our original problems…just not in the long run.

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    Mix in chemical dependence with past life trauma and most people cannot quit on their own. The intensity and the discomfort of withdrawal symptoms makes it unmanageable to detox alone. Plus, detoxing alone can be dangerous! This reason alone points to the need for medical care and attention when a person decides to quit drinking or using drugs.

    Biological Factors For Addictive Behaviors

    Moving on, I think it’s crucial that you really understand what’s happening in the brain before you talk with a spouse. Knowing how the brain and body work to adapt substances as normal explains a lot about addiction.

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    Our brain is a dynamic and complex organ. One of the brain’s most important functions is to keep us alive. Proper brain function enables us to constantly adapt to our environment. However, ironic as it may sound, it is the brain’s ability to be so adaptive contributes to the formation of addiction. Addiction causes changes to the brain in various ways such as:

    1. Altering brain chemistry.
    2. Changing the brain structures and it’s functioning.
    3. Changing the brain’s communication patterns.
    4. Changing the brain’s natural balance.

    Once a psychoactive substance enters the body, it is quickly metabolized and reaches the brain rapidly. Drugs and alcohol interact with the neural system and trigger effects. But with prolonged use, an effect called tolerance occurs, which is a reduced reaction to a substance. This is one of the main reasons why you need to drink more over time to get drunk…or you why prescription pills are time limited when legally prescribed by a doctor.

    As time progresses, people become physically dependent on drugs or alcohol. A physically dependent person experiences withdrawal symptoms when they want to cut down or quit. The intensity of withdrawal symptoms can drive us right back to drinking or drugging. Physical withdrawal symptoms vary by substance and can differ significantly. Psychological symptoms tend to overlap and usually include:

    • Anxiety
    • Craving
    • Depression
    • Insomnia

    No wonder quitting your drug-of-choice has become so difficult! Who wants to go through that?

    Addiction: A Brain Disease – Not A Choice!

    The human brain functions by the rule of reward and punishment. Activities such as dancing, eating, sex, or other pleasurable behaviors are directly linked to our health. Each stimulate the release of a neurotransmitter called dopamine. The increase of dopamine gives us the feeling of pleasure.

    When the brain experiences pleasure, it tends to seek the same sensation and is motivated to continue repeating the same things which bring us pleasure. Drugs trigger that same part of the brain—the reward system. The only problem is that they do this unnaturally and to an extreme.

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    For example, when people abuse pain pills, their brain releases extreme amounts of dopamine. The brain overreacts, reducing the production of dopamine in an attempt to normalize these sudden, intensive high levels which drug abuse has created. This is how the cycle of addiction begins. Once an individual becomes addicted, s/he is not taking pills in order to feel good any more, but to feel “normal”. However, studies have shown that repeated drug use severely limits a person’s capacity to feel pleasure. [2]

    Once addiction starts ruling a person’s brain, the compulsive behavior becomes a reflex need instead of a conscious choice. That is how addicted individuals lose their free willpower to make their own decisions.

     

    Starting the Conversation

    So, what is the best way to approach your spouse and tell them you’re struggling? How you start the conversation will be up to you. Personally, “big talks” like this need to be outlined. In my life, I would set aside time and make sure that there are no distractions. No phones. No kids. No work. And then, I’d just open up.

    One of the biggest myths about addiction is that you can deal with it on your own! When getting started, know that needing help is a strength and not a weakness! So, we suggest that – however you do it – you let the cat out of the bag. This will be a very personal process. We can’t help you with that. But, when you discuss addiction with someone you love, keep in mind these three steps:

    FIRST STEP: Avoid being in denial about your addiction. Instead, accept that you have a problem and move towards the solution.

    SECOND STEP: Be completely honest and tell your spouse about your addiction directly. Do not try to link your problem with something else because you risk losing your spouse’s trust even more.

    THIRD STEP: Express remorse, ask for support, and look for treatment alternatives together. You can use your addiction as a way to reconnect with your spouse and join forces

    Asking for help is super critical. You are probably carrying the weight of decades of pent up issues. Again, you do not want to do this alone. I’m now almost 15 years into a drug and alcohol-free life…and I still see a psychotherapist when I need to. The idea is that issues are covering up some major pain. You need to bring these to the light…but you do need professional advice.

    When looking for professional help, you can always benefit from family and couples therapy. Your spouse and your family should be an important piece of the recovery process. All family members are affected by your addiction. Family and/or couple’s therapy can help you work on dysfunctional relationships and broken communications between you and your spouse. Family and couples therapy’s main focus is to:

    1. Work with loved ones to understand the addiction and addicted individual.
    2. Work with everyone to communicate better.
    3. Work with the addict to learn how to communicate with loved ones.

    Your Questions

    Hopefully, we helped you learn more about how addiction works…and how to open up to your spouse. If you have any questions, please post them in the comments section below. We are happy to answer your questions in a personal and prompt manner, or refer you to someone who can help.

    Reference Sources: [1] NCBI: Genetic and Familial Environmental Influences on the Risk for Drug Abuse, A National Swedish Adoption Study
    [2] NIDA: Drugs, Brains, and Behavior, The Science of Addiction
    Integrated Approaches to drug and alcohol problems: Action on Addiction 6.p
    Mental Health: How Does Addiction Affect The Brain?
    Shatter Proof: Science of Addiction
    Treating Addiction: A Guide for professionals 33.p
    Waters  Edge Recovery: How to Tell Your Partner About Your Drug Addiction
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    View the original article at addictionblog.org

  • The Secret of Talking to Your Addicted Sibling (Brother or Sister)

    The Secret of Talking to Your Addicted Sibling (Brother or Sister)

    ARTICLE SUMMARY: Just one family member with a drinking or drug problem can bring imbalance to the entire group. And if you’ve offered help, your brother or sister may have refused it because they still don’t believe they have a problem. This article reviews ways to improve your approach to convince your sibling to get into treatment. More here, with a section at the end for questions. 

    ESTIMATED READING TIME: 10 minutes.

    TABLE OF CONTENTS

    You’re More Important than You Think

    We sure can love and hate our brothers and sisters. Growing up together can test our very souls. But when you’re worried about your silbing’s behavior, your input can be more important that you know. This study reports a well-known fact:

    The onset of substance use typically occurs during adolescence. 

    But the research also suggests that siblings and peers may provide complementary influences on how people navigate the transition through teen and early adult years. You can transmit a good example, or you can provide a bad one. Your sibling sees you horizontally. In other words, you have more influence than you think!

    So, what can you do first?

    Are You Helping…or Enabling?

    The big thing is to recognize if you’re actually helping or enabling your addicted sibling with your actions. Enabling is a behavior that prevents someone from responsibility. It’s basically when you get in the way of having your brother or sister experience consequences for their drug or alcohol use. Enabling can look like:

    1. Paying bills, filling the car with gas, or buying groceries.

    2. Telling lies or making excuses for your sibling.

    3. Bailing the person out of jail.

    4. Cleaning up after the person.

    5. Threatening to leave but failing to follow through on your threats.

    6. Accepting part of the blame for your brother or sister’s bad behavior.

    7. Trying to strengthen the relationship by drinking or taking drugs together.

    8. Avoiding family issues or problems that need to be addressed.

    Enabling adds to an addiction. It doesn’t help.

    You might have already been stuck in this position and don’t know how to help your sibling. How can you address the seriousness of their substance (ab)use? Can you somehow help them move from the position of denial?

    We think that you need professional help. Planning an intervention is especially hard when you have no professional experience in this area. Addiction is a medical condition, so consulting a professional can be the best place to start. Who can you ask for help?

    Where to Get Help

    When someone has a drug problem, it’s not always easy to know what to do. NIDA for Teens recommends that you talk with someone you trust. You can talk to a parent, school guidance counselor, or other trusted adult like a sports coach, youth group leader, or community leader.

    Plus, confidential resources are out there, like the Treatment Referral Helpline (1-800-662-HELP) offered by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, which refers callers to particular treatment facilities, support groups, and other local organizations. You can also locate substance abuse treatment centers in your state by going to samhsa.gov/treatment.

    Here are some other ideas:

    1. Talk with your family doctor. S/He can refer you to local specialists such as addiction doctors (Find an ABAM specialist), psychotherapists or counselors (Find an APA psychologist member near you), or psychiatrists (Find an ABA psychiatrist near you).

    2. Talk with a social worker. You can contact your state’s Department of Health and Social Services to talk through the treatment options. Plus, you can see what services are available FOR YOU! Need counseling? Ask!

    3. Call our hotline number listed above. Caring operators are ready to take your call and talk you through the process of detox and addiction treatment. Plus, it’s possible that you need to be connected with a professional interventionist. Reach out. Help is just a phone call away.

    4. Call an addictions counselor, a psychiatrist, or a doctor who’s studied addiction. The following professional associations can connect you with someone in your area:

    The Secret Of Talking: Planning

    The first step to planning an intervention is preparation. To understand the nature of addiction, first read more about the signs and symptoms of drug/alcohol abuse. Knowing more will help you when talking with other members of your family and as you ask for advice from a professional. Then, together, you can agree who will talk to your sibling about getting help.

    Also, be prepared to speak with other family members about your concerns. Make sure that you are safe from potential emotional and/or physical harm. It is crucial to gain your own emotional stability, so you can better cope with the problem and more easily overcome the barriers toward recovery.

    Speaking with others who are having similar struggles is always productive. Consider SMART Recovery Friends & Family, which offer science-based, secular support group meeting (both online and in-person) to help those who are affected by the substance abuse, drug abuse, alcohol abuse or other addictions or Al-Anon or Alateen, a Twelve-Step organization providing help to family members of alcoholics. Meetings are widely available and free of charge.

    Top 5 Things To Avoid When Talking To Your Addicted Sibling

    Rule #1 – Avoid confrontation.

    Instead of blaming your brother or sister for their condition, try to focus the conversation on your feelings and how their behavior affects you. The outcome may be to visit a therapist together, so you can solve your personal difficulties with the addiction in your family. Step by step, the therapist will shift the focus to your sibling without him/her noticing that the treatment is actually meant for them.

    Rule #2 – Ask them to make immediate decision.

    Do not let your sibling step back and think of the situation over time. Instead, be prepared to immediately consult a treatment program once s/he understands that dysfunction is occuring. This is a crucial part of the intervention, as the recovery process starts with the decision of accepting treatment.

    Rule #3 – Do not threaten your sibling.

    Not that it’s just ineffective, but threats to someone using drugs or drinking can also be dangerous. When people are in panic or consumed by a feeling of fear, they can be very aggresive. Conflict brings even more conflict, and suggestions and support will not have any impact if the vibes are negative in the relationship.

    Rule #4 – Don’t try to talk when your sibling is under influence.

    Rule #5 – Never ever offer drugs or alcohol to your addicted sibling!

    It is very important to remember that addiction is a serious disease and you should always treat it in that way. Accepting treatment should never be celebrated by taking “one last dose”. Stopping the enabling cycle means respecting that addiction is a sickness. When you refuse to participate in it, you set a good example.

    Questions?

    Do you struggle with the idea of addressing your sibling’s addiction? We hope this short article can help. If you have any additional questions, please post them in the comments section below. We try to reply to all legitimate questions with a personal response and as soon as possible.

    Reference sources: Drug-free: Helping an Adult Family Member or Friend with a Drug or Alcohol Problem
    Project Know: Support Groups for Families of Alcoholics
    The Recovery Village: 9 tips for family members to stop enabling an addict

    View the original article at

  • How Can I Explain Pill Addiction to My Child?

    How Can I Explain Pill Addiction to My Child?

    Addiction is Medical!

    Dealing with pill addiction? Are you looking for a way to explain it to your child or a family member?  There is a medical way to explain to loved ones how you are dealing with health difficulties such as addiction. But in order to talk about addiction, you must understand it first.

    This article gives you the basics on:

    1. How addiction influences your system.
    2. The reasons behind it.
    3. Tips for how to talk about it with your child.

    We encourage you to post additional questions in the comments section at the end. We’ll make sure to provide you with a personal and prompt response. Or, if we can answer your questions…we’ll refer you to someone who can.

    What Is Addiction, Really?

    Addiction, or substance use disorder, is a condition recognized as a brain disorder. It is a chronic disease with severe implications on a person’s health.

    When we are addicted to a pill, brain chemistry changes and we start to behave unconsciously and act out of control. This is because many medications can temporarily alter:

    • Decision-making centers in the brain.
    • Motivation.
    • Our ability to feel pleasure.

    When we begin to rely on our prescription pills to feel normal, however, we can develop a disorder which can’t simply be overcome with self-help. This is why prescription pill addiction often requires intervention by doctors and addiction professionals, especially when:

    • You have tried to quit on your own but can’t.
    • Are physically dependent on a prescription medication.
    • Experience multiple negative consequences to health, home, work, or social life.

    Brain Chemistry Changes

    In short, long term prescription use affects brain functions such as:

    • Behavior.
    • Decision-making.
    • Judgment.
    • Learning.
    • Memory.
    • Stress.

    Pills and other prescription medications are designed to change brain chemistry to treat physical and mental conditions. They are actually called “psychoactive drugs” because they affect the brain directly. There are several categories of prescriptions which are target of abuse. These can include central nervous system depressants prescribed for anxiety and sleep disorders, opioids prescribed for pain relief, or stimulants prescribed for attention disorders.

    Examples of drugs that cause brain chemistry changes include:

    • Benzodiazepines like Ativan, Xanax, or Valium.
    • Pain killers like Vicodin, OxyContin, or Percocet.
    • Stimulants like Adderall or Ritalin.

    Our brain functions as a result of a delicate balance of chemical messengers called neurotransmitters. When a prescribed medication enters our system, it directly affect the natural balance of neurotransmitters in the brain. Long term use and/or abuse makes the brain adapt to a new, unnatural neurotransmitter balance.  And when the desire to take pills becomes a pathological craving … it transforms into addiction.

    The Reasons Behind Addiction

    We can never say that people become addicts by choice. On the contrary, when the effects from the drug of choice no longer bring pleasure people desperately want to stop…only they are not able to, at least not on their own.

    Further, addiction is not a disease caused by a single factor. This is why it’s referred as a complex disease. The word “complex” is associated with the multiple factors which contribute to the foundation of addiction.

    According to research and studies by scientists, psychologists, and other professionals in the field of addiction, this disorder has a biological, psychological and environmental background.

    Addiction carries a great burden because it’s a compulsive disorder. Recovering from it requires monitoring from professionals and a controlled environment such as treatment centers. Pill addicted individuals can’t quit using by themselves because they often experience strong and unbearable withdrawal symptoms. This discomfort brings them back into the circle of taking pills over and over again to numb the pain and avoid further withdrawal.

    Genetics And Environmental Factors

    Many scientist and researchers in the field of addiction have questioned themselves why do some people become addicted while others don’t? The results of their studies have proven that there is not a single factor which can predict that a person has the possibility to become a drug addict. Instead, results of addiction studies have discovered that addiction is influenced by a combination of biological psychological and environmental factors.

    Biological factors outline the importance of the genes that people are born with. Genetic predispositions carry a 50% risk for addiction. The presence of other mental disorders may also influence risk for drug use and addiction. Knowing your family history of diseases can help you pay an extra care and attention when trying and reaching out for drugs, alcohol and prescription medications.

    Environmental factors include everyday influences, from family and friends, social groups, economic status and overall your general life quality. Among the most common environmental factors that can contribute to the occurrence of addiction are:

    • Early exposure to stress.
    • Parental modeling.
    • Peer pressure.
    • Physical and sexual abuse.

    More on Biological Factors

    Before an individual develops addiction to prescriptions, they often pass through several stages of physical change. Some people can develop physical dependence on a drug, for example. This means that the brain adapts to the drug and provokes withdrawal symptoms when doses are lowered to stopped. Others even become tolerant of the effects of medication, needing more medicine more frequently for initial effect.

    When explaining tolerance and dependence, it is important to know that they are referred to the physical consequences of drug use. In contrast, addiction is a term referred to the need of engaging in harmful, abusive behaviors. Moreover, addiction develops when a person becomes physically, psychologically and emotionally dependent to pills.

    As the brain adapts to the presence of prescription pills over time, chronic users may begin to respond to their prescription differently than those who have used it in accordance with physician’s guidance. They may start to:

    • Increase dosing.
    • Increase frequency of use.
    • Doctor shop.
    • Hide or lie about Rx drug use.
    • Prioritize the drug use above other activities.

    Addiction: A Brain Disease – Not A Choice!

    Prescriptions drugs and substances influence the brain’s “reward circuit” by interfering with the quantity of neurochemical messenger called dopamine. Dopamine neurotransmitters influence our centers for pleasure together with the reward system and motivates individuals to repeat behaviors in order to keep their level of happiness. The natural activities which increase our level of dopamine are: eating, sleeping, having sex, spending time with loved ones…etc. Abusing prescriptions over stimulates the reward circuit causing the intensely pleasurable “high” that often times leads people to repeated drug abuse.

    As a person continues to abuse their prescribed pills, the brain readjusts to the new state of excess dopamine by producing less of it. This is how abusers feel a reduction in their ability to experience high and feel pleasure in comparison with when they first started taking prescription— effect known as tolerance. They might take more pills, trying to achieve the same dopamine high.

    Not only that…. prescription drug users feel a reduction in the effects from their pills, but they also lose their ability to enjoy every day activities which use to bring them natural pleasure such as food or social activities. Depression can appear shortly afterwards.

    Explaining Pill Addiction to a Child

    Deciding to talk to your child about your pill addiction already shows a great level of courage and consciousness. In fact, your child may have already noticed you are not well. They are probably curious and concerned about why you are not feeling yourself.

    Honesty can be the best place to start. Before you begin, you’ll need to consider the age and maturity of your child before talking to them. Keeping the conversation age appropriate is important because younger children simply can’t understand the meaning of the term “addiction”, so you may need to replace the term with “illness” in order to bring this subject closer to them.

    As for teenager and older kids it’s best to be completely honest and say what going on directly. Teenagers and older kids value honesty. Telling them the truth will make them feel as if you feel they are old and mature enough to know about addiction.

    Here are some suggested tips of what to have in mind when you want to approach your child and explain your pill addiction:

    TIP #1. Use comparison with other illnesses in order to bring closer the subject of pill addiction to your little child. You might want to compare your illness with a very bad headache, or a stomach flu that just doesn’t go away. For older children, you might compare drug use with smoking. Whatever you choose, make the model tangible and relate-able.

    TIP #2. Listen to your kids. Ask them what they’ve observed in your behavior. Be prepared to answer their questions and concerns regarding your condition. Encourage them to tell you what they think.

    TIP #3. Make sure to provide your children with a strong support system. Or, set up family counseling sessions with a child psychologist who has experience in family addiction issues. They need to have someone to lean on when you leave for recovery. And professional help can guide you through the entire process.

    TIP #4. Take away any guilt. Make sure that your child understands that s/he is not responsible for your pill addiction.

    TIP #5. Prepare your recovery plans in advance and share them with you child. Share the plan with them. If you are leaving for an inpatient rehab stay, outline the visiting days. Talk about rehab like a camp for adults.

    Who else might you advise?

    • A licensed addiction counselor.
    • A licensed clinical social worker.
    • Family psychologists.
    • A psychiatrist.

    Seriously consider the process of family counseling. With the help of family therapy, members revalue the way they communicate and react to one another. Together, you and your child(ren) can look at how you conduct yourselves in ways that are hurtful or helpful. During family therapy, members also learn how to modify their behaviors to support each person. You’ll learn how to better communicate with each other, and practice new ways of talking, relating, and behaving.

    Now, Your Questions

    Do you have additional questions about explaining an addiction to your child? Please share your questions and/or experiences with successful (or not) communication in the comments section below. We’ll try to respond to you personally and promptly.

    Reference Sources: NIH: Understanding Drug Use and Addiction
    NIH: How Do Prescription Drugs Work in the Brain?
    All About Counseling: Telling Your Kids About Your Addiction
    Huffington Post: As a Mom in Recovery, How Do I Explain My Addiction to My Kids?

    View the original article at prescription-drug.addictionblog.org