Tag: outreach

  • How to Overcome When Addiction Has Caused You to Lose Your Career 

    How to Overcome When Addiction Has Caused You to Lose Your Career 

    Back in 2009, I made a decision I would regret for the rest of my life.  I rear-ended another car on my way home from the bar one night, injuring two of its passengers. With that one selfish act, my life turned upside down. My law license was suspended indefinitely and I was immediately fired from my law firm. Months later, I was sentenced to four years in prison, the final blow in a string of consequences all due to alcohol.   

    While I was incarcerated, I knew that I’d have to embark on a new career path when I got out, since practicing law was no longer an option. But for some reason, I wasn’t too concerned. After all, I had a law degree and the skills to a land a decent job in another industry.

    How Hard Could it be?   

    Nearly impossible, I soon realized. 

    I hadn’t counted on the fact that being a convicted felon would subject me to endless job discrimination, or that I would spend months submitting dozens of resumes with no response.  I was beginning to find out how difficult finding an employer would be who was willing to dole out second chances.

    Discouraged and feeling sorry for myself, I resorted to the one job I knew that wouldn’t discriminate against my criminal background: waiting tables. It wasn’t a position that was commensurate with my education level, but serving others gave me a much-needed dose of humility. It allowed me to reclaim that sense of gratitude I had had while behind bars; teaching me again to be thankful for what I did have, rather than fret over all the things I didn’t.  

    Finding a New Career

    After almost a year of balancing a serving tray, I came across a job opening that I couldn’t ignore: a business development position at a nonprofit providing re-entry and rehabilitation programs to prisoners.  It would be a nine-to-five that was a perfect fit for me; one where being a convicted felon was actually considered a bonus. A couple of weeks later, my hard work paid off: I found myself in the organization’s main office, reporting for my first day of work.   

    Now, almost nine years since I was suspended from practicing law, I’m still in the business development and networking realm, proving that it is possible to find a rewarding career after the one you thought you’d have your entire life doesn’t pan out. Though addiction caused me to lose almost everything, through patience, determination, and grit I was able to overcome those challenges and create a fulfilling professional life after prison that I never thought was possible.    

    Additional Reading: What Should I do if my Loved One is Suicidal?

    Image Source: iStock

    View the original article at recovery.org

  • What Should I do if my Loved One is Suicidal?

    What Should I do if my Loved One is Suicidal?

    Kelly is worried about her sister. Gina has always had a melancholy personality, but lately, she has been more down than usual. Kelly knows Gina has been turning to alcohol in an effort to “lift her spirits.” Her drinking habits seem to be taking over her life and causing greater depression. The other night, Gina told Kelly she felt hopeless and that she “just wants it all to end.” 

    Kelly doesn’t know how seriously she should take this comment. Was it the alcohol talking? Is her sister suicidal? Should she intervene? Her sister’s life may be at stake, and Kelly has no idea what to do. 

    Kelly is right to be concerned. Many people find themselves in her shoes and are as uninformed as Kelly about what action to take. If your loved one is struggling with addiction and depression and you feel they may be suicidal, take the following steps.

    How To Check on Your Loved One

    1. Ask questions. Be sensitive but direct. Ask the person questions to determine if they are suicidal. Questions such as “How are you coping with life?” “Are you thinking about dying?” and “Are you contemplating suicide?” will help reveal their mindset and allow them the opportunity to share their struggles. 

    2. Look for warning signs. Watch for social withdrawal, feelings of hopelessness, self-destructive behavior, increased drug or alcohol use, mood swings, personality changes, preoccupation with death, and the giving away of belongings. If these warning signs are present and/or the answers to your questions indicate they are suicidal, move on to the following actions.

    3. Encourage them to get help. If your loved one is severely depressed, they might be resistant to treatment or simply lack the energy and motivation to seek it. This can be especially difficult if their depression is paired with an addiction. Suggest consulting a mental health professional, attending a support group or speaking with a leader at a crisis center or faith community. Let them know trained counselors are available at the suicide hotline number, 800-273-TALK. Offer to help them take these steps. You can assist by researching treatment options, looking into payment resources and going with them to an appointment. 

    4. Offer loving support. Encourage your loved one to open up to you. Listen without interrupting. Respect their feelings, even if you don’t understand them. Keep in mind that their thoughts might not be logical, but their feelings are real. Avoid patronizing comments or statements that will make them feel judged, but reassure them that treatment is available and things can get better. 

    5. Take precautions. Encourage them to avoid drug and alcohol use, since this only makes their feelings and the overall situation worse. If they are taking any medication that could be lethal, offer to safeguard it and dispense it for them as prescribed (or find someone else to do so). Remove other potentially dangerous items from their surroundings, such as knives and guns.

    6. Don’t make promises you can’t keep. A suicidal loved one may ask you to keep their feelings a secret. Don’t do it. Explain that you can’t keep this promise if their life is in danger. You must get them the help they need. Never downplay or ignore this situation. The truth is, many people who kill themselves demonstrate warning signs and even talk about it beforehand. Don’t worry about overreacting. Your loved one’s life is at stake.  

    Additional Reading: New Recovery Method Gets Under Your Skin – Literally.

    Image Source: iStock

    View the original article at recovery.org

  • Top 5 Books for Recovery Reading 

    Top 5 Books for Recovery Reading 

    Have you ever tried typing “books on addiction” in the Amazon search field? I did. Items one through 16 of over 10,000 results appeared on my screen. On reflection, I’m not sure how helpful that was. Where are we supposed to start? At result number 1? 2? 16? 3,462? 

    Whether you are struggling with addiction or know someone who is, helpful resources can be life-changing. Yet, a search for good reads yields so many results! It can be overwhelming, to say the least. If you’re looking for some expert input, personal experience, or helpful advice, the following are a few top picks that cover a full range of addiction topics.

     Here’s a Quick List to Narrow Your Options

    • Recover To Live
      Are you trying to gain a better understanding of conditions and activities related to behavioral addictions? Recover to Live, by Christopher Kennedy Lawford, who is over 25 years in recovery, offers a collection of expert opinions from leaders in the field regarding addiction and what you can do to overcome it. The book covers a wide range of addiction manifestations, including drugs, alcohol, gambling, smoking, eating disorders, hoarding, sex, and porn addiction. The content is designed as a self-treatment guide for those struggling with any of these behaviors.
    • Living Sober
      The anonymous author of Living Sober views sobriety as the first step in recovery. The focus of the content is the healthy day-to-day living that comes after a person gives up alcohol or other drugs. According to the writer, it is during these challenging times that real recovery occurs. This book offers tools to use when facing these times and is closely tied with the 12-Steps tradition.
    • Under the Influence
      In print for several decades now, Under the Influence, by James Robert Milam and Katherine Ketcham, is a helpful resource on alcoholism. The authors seek to dispel the myths surrounding alcoholism and offer assistance for those struggling with alcoholism or an addicted loved one. The book covers how to help someone with alcoholism, how to tell if a loved one has alcoholism, and how to increase chances of recovery.
    • Why Don’t They Just Quit?
      If your family member is struggling with addiction, you’ve probably asked this question. Why Don’t They Just Quit, by Joe Herzanek, offers insight into addiction, co-dependence, relapse, interventions, and other related topics. It’s a good resource for anyone with questions about addiction and the recovery process.
    • Recovery and Renewal
      Many addictions start with a legal, doctor-approved prescription. With this in mind, Recovery and Renewal by Baylissa Frederick, focuses on addiction issues related to prescription drugs, specifically benzos. It looks at the side effects and withdrawal that can occur when taking sleeping pills, anti-depressants, and other tranquilizers. Frederick, a noted counselor on matters of substance abuse and addiction withdrawal, offers information for anyone who wants to know what to expect from benzo withdrawal as well as techniques for getting through the process. 
    • Addiction as an Attachment Disorder
      Addiction is a disorder in self-regulation. Individuals who become dependent on addictive substances cannot regulate their emotions, self-care, self-esteem, and relationships. In this monumental and illuminating text Philip Flores covers all the reasons why this is so. But it is the domain of interpersonal relations that he makes clear why individuals susceptible to substance use disorders (SUDs) are especially vulnerable. His emphasis on addiction as an attachment disorder is principally important because he provides extensive scholarly and clinical insights as to why certain vulnerable individuals so desperately need to substitute chemical solutions and connections for human ones.
    • Addiction: Psychology and Treatment (BPS Textbooks in Psychology)
      Addiction: Psychology and Treatment brings together leading psychologists to provide a comprehensive overview of the psychology of addictions and their treatment across specialities and types of services. * Emphasises the use of several approaches including CBT, psychodynamic and systemic and family treatments, and consideration of the wider picture of addictions * As well as the theories, gives a clear overview of the application of these models * Reflects the very latest developments in the role played by psychological perspectives and interventions in the recovery agenda for problem drug and alcohol users.

    View the original article at recovery.org

  • Homelessness and Mental Health: On the Front Lines

    Homelessness and Mental Health: On the Front Lines

    Officers Armond and Dodson, whose personal histories uniquely qualify them for this outreach effort, have personally gotten 49 people off the streets and into drug and alcohol treatment.

    As someone with an extensive rap sheet, it was strange for me to be voluntarily climbing in the back seat of a police vehicle with two officers sitting up front. Twenty-five years sober, and I still don’t recognize my own life at times. For example, I work for my son’s non-profit, an organization that gives out quality tennis shoes to those in need. Who would have ever thought that this could be me? Certainly not me.

    The seed for Hav A Sole was planted in the early nineties when I was getting sober. Rikki and I were living in a women and children’s shelter as I was on welfare and could barely make ends meet. Becky, a former shelter resident, offered to buy Rikki new shoes because his had huge holes in the soles. I was not someone who accepted handouts but, leveled by circumstances and my son’s needs, I relinquished my pride and said “Yes!” Becky bought Rikki two pairs of shoes that very same day. I never forgot her kindness, and neither would my son, though it would take another 30 years for that one act of kindness to inspire Hav A Sole, an organization that has given out more than 13,000 pairs of shoes to those in need.

    On this particular day as I sit in the police car, Rikki and I have joined forces with the Quality of Life Division of Long Beach Police Department, and the officers are taking us to local homeless encampments. I was sitting in the back seat with two other volunteers while Rikki followed behind in his SUV filled with Nikes.

    I leaned up to the diamond-shaped divider, watching Officer Dodson’s mustache in the rear-view mirror as he talked.

    “Three years ago, a lot of complaints were coming in from residents who wanted the police to address the growing homeless situation,” he said. “When I saw the position for The Quality of Life posted I decided to apply for it. Up until then no one in the department knew I had once lived on the streets myself, but seeing how I had, it made me uniquely qualified for the job.” He shrugged. “But, it was a new concept and without a protocol in place, my commander told me to go out there and figure out what the police department could do to alleviate some of the challenges the homeless faced.”

    “What did you do then?” I asked.

    “At first, I would walk up and down the riverbed trying to engage people in conversations. But seeing how everyone is afraid of the police no one wanted to talk to me. So, I started bringing bottles of water and other items to pass out as a peace offering and it worked. Over time, people came out of the bushes and I got to know them on a first name basis and hear some of their stories.”

    Officer Dodson made a hard right and pulled down a narrow asphalt road with the river on one side and a dirt embankment with bushes, tents, and piles of trash on the other. Suddenly, a long haired, bearded man appeared out of nowhere and waved. Officer Dodson stopped the car and we all got out. Within minutes, men and women were climbing up the embankment, greeting the officers like old friends. I watched as both officers caught up with everyone and passed out everything from water, socks, snacks, and even Zantac for indigestion.


    Officers on the riverbed (image via author)

    At one point, I was introduced to Doug, a dark haired, good looking guy who told us his story: “I used to be a cop a long time ago,” he said, “but after a bout of depression and drugs, I lost everything and live on the streets now.” He stared into the distance as if he was recalling another time. “Someday I’m going to get out of here and get my life back on track.”

    As Doug walked away with his water and new pair of black Nikes, I was struck, once again, with the realization that homelessness can happen to anyone.

    After passing out several pairs of shoes, it was time to move on. I crawled in the back seat and started my own interrogation of sorts based on my own experience.

    I leaned forward and asked, “So, Officer Armond, what makes you want to do this kind of job?”

    “I suppose one of the reasons came from losing my teen age daughter, Ashlee, in an alcohol-involved car accident a few years ago. That changed my perception on a whole lot of things.”

    “Oh. I’m so sorry…” I didn’t know what else to say.

    Officer Armond talked about how Ashlee went missing and how he was waiting for her to get home while his colleagues were out there looking for her. Twenty-four hours later, and no sign of her, he went to search himself. As he retraced the way she might have driven home that night, he saw skid marks leading towards a downed chain link fence. Officer Armond crawled over the broken fence, and discovered his daughter’s car had plunged into the riverbed below.

    With a somber tone, he said, “Part of me felt responsible as a police officer. I felt like I should have been able to help her. But I was drinking back then and felt incredible guilt. So, in many ways, helping the people out here who are struggling gives me a reason to go on.”

    I found myself deeply moved by his tragic story, and it was becoming clear how these two officers’ life experiences made them uniquely qualified for a difficult job.


    Officer Dodson hands out water (image via author)

    As we drove towards the beach, Officer Dodson continued, “What we discovered is a lot of these people out here have substance abuse issues. Over time, as we started to build trust with them, many began asking us for help. That’s when I thought to myself, ‘Great, now we’ll actually be able to do some good out here.’ But when I started cold calling treatment centers, the people in charge were suspicious and couldn’t understand why a police officer was trying to help a homeless person. After explaining the Quality of Life’s mission, their next question was: did the person have insurance or money to pay for treatment? Honestly, I couldn’t believe it. We had someone who was desperate enough to ask the police for assistance and we were unable to provide it.”

    I scooted closer, “So what did you do after that?”

    “Persistence. In the last six months, the community has stepped up. We now have ten scholarship beds donated by Social Model Recovery. Redgate Hospital will detox people if needed and we have other treatment centers that help us out as well. But our work doesn’t just stop there. We also facilitate a meeting with a social worker to start the paperwork for housing so they have a place to live when they get out. If they complete their treatment and have any old warrants or cases pending, we’ll even go to court on their behalf.”

    Officer Dodson went on to describe Ronnie, a man who had been in and out of prison for most of his life. When the officers first met him in the park, Ronnie told them that he had two boys and wanted to prove to them he could turn his life around. The officers immediately found a bed and got him into treatment. Six months later, Ronnie is still sober and working at the Salvation Army.

    After the Hav A Sole team distributed shoes at the beach, we drove to a park. While we were there, a woman in her late twenties, with obvious mental health issues, told the officers she wanted to get help. Within five minutes, the health department arrived to take her to a local resource center where they would further assess her needs.

    I later learned that Armond and Dodson have personally gotten 49 people off the streets and into drug and alcohol treatment. As a counselor myself for nearly two decades, it was clear that they were not only doing front line interventions, but had also created a multi-disciplinary approach in assisting individuals living on the streets.

    At a time when so many of our homeless are suffering from addiction and mental health-related issues, we need to bring our compassion and our resources to the street. Rikki and I and the Hav A Sole team were honored to ride along with Officer Armond and Officer Dodson who go above and beyond the call of duty, protecting and serving the homeless who are part of our communities.


    L-R: Elizabeth Kelley Erickson, Officer Dodson, Wendy Adamson, Officer Armond, Rikki Mendias and Dash Penland of Have A Sol, and Greg Moul (volunteer)

    View the original article at thefix.com