Categories
Holidays

What Happened When I Spent Christmas Eve in a Basement with a Crazy Cat

I didn’t exactly catch the holiday spirit, but I took a suggestion that kept me hanging on by my claws through the Next 12 Days of Christmas…

Categories
Music

No Map or Compass

The feeling of that first sip changed me into everything I was not: confident, brave, careless, fearless and most importantly, accepted by all the people I looked up to.

Categories
Alcoholism

A Temporary Suicide

How do you square that madness of loving what alcohol does to you for a few hours while suspecting that it’s killing you?

Categories
Lists

Life Goes On: Reflections on 2019

Underneath the biochemical hook that made me an addict is other issues: I’m needy. I want love. I’m lonely. I want to connect.

Categories
Self-reflection

On Ascension: Finding the Courage to Heal and Grow

My optimism was the reason I had stayed in abusive situations as well as my catalyst for leaving.

Categories
Drinking In Moderation

On Moderation and Other Fantasies

Even though I’ve quit drinking, I don’t pretend to understand moderation. I will never be someone who stops when they’re full. Not really.

Categories
Addiction News

Am I Still in AA If I'm Not Going to Meetings?

After years in recovery, certain aspects of the program may no longer be useful while others are. That doesn’t mean you have to completely shut the door.

Categories
Addiction News

5 Things I Wish I Knew When I Hit Rock Bottom

When you’re at your lowest point, it’s easy to feel like there is no hope, like you are completely alone, like your life will never be full again. Rock bottom is such a common term in the world of recovery. And while everyone has a rock bottom, no one has the same one. When you’re…

Categories
Addiction News

When My “Give a F**k” Broke

I stood on the edge of this abyss and began my free fall to find healthy. I had nothing left to lose. “I am fine,” was my go to response for years. When anyone would ask, I would answer with that canned response, and if the typical follow up question was “Really?”, I was prepared.…

Categories
Addiction News

Is There Life After AA?

I was fed up with the fear-based conditioning of being told that if I left, I wouldn’t stay sober, and I was tired of the constant message that my future was up to some mystic higher power. When I walked into my first AA meeting, I felt like I was broken into a million pieces.…