I didn’t exactly catch the holiday spirit, but I took a suggestion that kept me hanging on by my claws through the Next 12 Days of Christmas…
Tag: self-reflection
No Map or Compass
The feeling of that first sip changed me into everything I was not: confident, brave, careless, fearless and most importantly, accepted by all the people I looked up to.
A Temporary Suicide
How do you square that madness of loving what alcohol does to you for a few hours while suspecting that it’s killing you?
On Ascension: Finding the Courage to Heal and Grow
My optimism was the reason I had stayed in abusive situations as well as my catalyst for leaving.
On Moderation and Other Fantasies
Even though I’ve quit drinking, I don’t pretend to understand moderation. I will never be someone who stops when they’re full. Not really.
Am I Still in AA If I'm Not Going to Meetings?
After years in recovery, certain aspects of the program may no longer be useful while others are. That doesn’t mean you have to completely shut the door.
5 Things I Wish I Knew When I Hit Rock Bottom
When you’re at your lowest point, it’s easy to feel like there is no hope, like you are completely alone, like your life will never be full again. Rock bottom is such a common term in the world of recovery. And while everyone has a rock bottom, no one has the same one. When you’re… Continue reading 5 Things I Wish I Knew When I Hit Rock Bottom
When My “Give a F**k” Broke
I stood on the edge of this abyss and began my free fall to find healthy. I had nothing left to lose. “I am fine,” was my go to response for years. When anyone would ask, I would answer with that canned response, and if the typical follow up question was “Really?”, I was prepared.… Continue reading When My “Give a F**k” Broke
Is There Life After AA?
I was fed up with the fear-based conditioning of being told that if I left, I wouldn’t stay sober, and I was tired of the constant message that my future was up to some mystic higher power. When I walked into my first AA meeting, I felt like I was broken into a million pieces.… Continue reading Is There Life After AA?
True North and the Geographical Cure
What it was like then: misery that had me researching the methods and means of suicide in the middle of the night on my cell phone, back turned to my husband, who was fast asleep, and to my children, asleep between us. The geographical cure: false hope that a change in circumstance might transform us.… Continue reading True North and the Geographical Cure