Answer Addiction

Tag: sober curious

  • Sober October Is Here: Inside The Benefits Of Going Alcohol-Free

    Sober October Is Here: Inside The Benefits Of Going Alcohol-Free

    A 2018 study found that heavy and moderate drinkers who abstained for a month saw their health improve.

    Fall is in the air, but many people are passing on craft beers and warm spiked cider, opting instead to participate in Sober October. 

    The idea started as a fundraiser for charities. However, taking a month of drinking can also have some real positive health effects. 

    “I think in one sober month, there can be long-term effects,” Hillary Cecere, a registered dietitian nutritionist, told Refinery29. “One of the biggest effects is a better awareness of a person’s relationship with alcohol. There’s also a sense of accomplishment that [can lead to] lasting changes. More moderate or heavy drinkers may notice higher energy levels, weight loss, and even a stronger immune system.” 

    Improved Sleep Quality, Lower Blood Pressure, Weight Reduction

    Cecere said people doing Sober October will be better rested, and not just because they’re avoiding hangovers. 

    “Drinking alcohol results in a low quality sleep. Without adequate sleep, decision making, memory, and learning abilities are impaired,” she said. So, staying sober for a month could help you rebalance your sleep patterns. 

    A 2018 study found that heavy and moderate drinkers who abstained for a month saw their health improve. 

    “These findings demonstrate that abstinence from alcohol in moderate–heavy drinkers improves insulin resistance, weight, [blood pressure] and cancer-related growth factors,” the study authors wrote.

    Benefits Often Felt During Subsequent Months

    Participating in a sober month can also change your drinking habits in the long term. For example, research has shown that people who do a “Dry January” drink less during the following year than people who don’t participate. 

    “The brilliant thing about Dry January is that it’s not really about January,” Dr. Richard Piper, CEO of Alcohol Change UK, said earlier this year. “Being alcohol-free for 31 days shows us that we don’t need alcohol to have fun, to relax, to socialize.”

    Research from the University of Sussex found that people who completed a Dry January reduced their weekly drinking to three days, from four, on average. They drank less in a setting, and were less likely to get drunk, the report found. In fact, organizations like Alcohol Change UK started toting the long-term effects of a sober month to get people on board with starting the year off without drinking. 

    “The good news is that Dry January is the perfect training ground for helping you cut down from February onwards,” the organization’s website says. “Cutting down permanently is, for many people, very hard, because habits are hard to break. Dry January is an excellent way of learning what your habits are and how to break them, enabling you to cut down longer-term. You can think of it as a bootcamp for drinking self-control.”

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • Taking Care of Your Mental Health in Sobriety

    Taking Care of Your Mental Health in Sobriety

    Pre-sobriety, alcohol and drugs often serve as coping mechanisms. When you quit, you’ll need different kinds of mental and emotional support. Make sure you have tools and solutions in place.

    PSA: there’s some text missing from the headlines popping up lately that show quitting drinking improves women’s mental health. 

    Essentially, the findings of the Canadian Medical Association Journal are that not drinking at all is actually better for your health than drinking when you’re stressed, no matter how much you want to lean into the whole a-glass-of-red-wine-a-day-is-good-for-you thing.

    But it’s not that simple. There’s no foolproof formula like: “If I stop drinking, then my mental health will improve” (as nice as that would be).

    For many of us, there’s legwork necessary for improving our mental health when we stop drinking and using drugs, in addition to simply stopping. When you stop drinking for an extended period of time (for some of us that may mean 24 hours, others, 4 weeks or 3 months), you may realize that you have symptoms of alcoholism or drug addiction, and the work you need to do to live a healthier life without substances will be outlined for you at a rehab facility, in a 12-step program, or via another form of recovery. 

    Or you may realize you are more of a problem drinker, who feels uncomfortable without a drink at meals, social gatherings, or after a long day, but you want to give it up for lifestyle or health reasons. You also likely have work to do for your mental health. 

    Why? Well, it was making you happy. It relaxed you. It calmed your anxiety. It signified fun, the loss of some inhibition, made things just a bit warmer and brighter and easier. It was a reward, it was something to do, and it was a way to cope with stress; not just day-to-day stress, but the stress of memories and past events that you carry around without even knowing and need to let go of. 

    If you respond internally with “Oh, darn, oh well” to the idea of a lifetime without Rosé all day, this may not pertain to you. But no matter why you drink or how often, alcohol is doing something for you. If you give it up, you may need to find another way of getting that need met. We all have (or had) our reasons, whether we’re aware of them or not, for drinking. And if it’s not just something we can just choose to leave in the interest of a more mindful yogi life or healthier gut, then it’s something we probably need to look at. 

    I spent a few years in my late teens and early twenties trying to stop drinking on my own. I was already in very strong recovery from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)—but I had no idea what I was in for when I took alcohol and weed out of the equation. If I wasn’t already in therapy, forget it—I don’t think I could have done it. 

    But what helped me the most back then were the steps, the social supports, reaching out for help, having places to go and people to see where alcohol was not present, and the continued ability to work on myself—and some other issues I didn’t know I had until I’d stopped drowning them in “social” drinks. 

    In your first few months to a year of stopping drinking, you’re going to need more than just a positive attitude to stay mentally healthy—especially because life will come slap it right out of you one day without warning, as life tends to do. 

    Here’s how you can make sure you’re prepared for anything. 

    Professional Help

    While not all therapists are amazing, the right therapist can pretty much be a hero in your life—someone who listens to you, makes you feel heard, and makes themselves available to you via text and email when you’re in crisis. These therapists guide you, challenge you, and help you grow. 

    A good therapist will see issues that drinking masked. 

    My roster included PTSD, Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD), and I fit the bill for a few symptoms of other overlapping issues. Specific therapy, targeted therapy, is crucial for a strong recovery. For me, that meant Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), but a therapist who specializes in addiction can also be a valuable asset. 

    We have to learn new ways of being in the world from people who understand what we’re going through and who can be objective, reliable, and helpful supports, and while seeking comfort and wisdom from our friends and family is invaluable, nothing can take the place of professional help. 

    Social Support and Community

    It’s important to lean not just on the friends you have already, but please, find a meet up, a meeting, even a local non-drinkers’ gathering where you can slowly start to form a group of contacts you can call, text, or hang out with who know how to deal with some of the issues you may experience.

    At a 12-step meeting, you can word-vom literally everything going on to a stranger, but it’s a good idea to take more care and go slower when establishing lighthearted dishing with other folks who don’t drink but who don’t identify as “addicts or alcoholics.” 

    As for your “drinking” and “using” and “partying” friends—just start to bring some awareness into the picture when you’re around them. Do they still want to hang out and do something if you’re not drinking, or going to a club or a bar? When we change, the people in our lives either change with us, or we realize we’re heading in a different direction. 

    Self-Care

    Self-care has become such a buzzword that we kind of just make it fit anywhere:

    Bath time! Self-care.

    Massage! Self-care. 

    Five gluten-free, vegan cupcakes! Self-care.

    All of these things (except maybe keep an eye on the cupcake count because sugar) qualify, and they’re wonderful. Start to figure out what makes you feel good—as you’re doing it, and not just as a means to an end. 

    Note: if you hate massages, that is not self-care. 

    But if you like to read, setting aside time from your busy schedule to spend a couple hours with a good book is a great example of self-care.

    Saying no to events you don’t want to go to when you’re exhausted—unless it’s for a good friend, or you might lose your job if you refuse—is self-care. 

    Meditation: This is terrifying at first, but it’s really not so bad if you ease into it, like sticking your toe in the temperature-regulated hotel pool. You can start with two minutes a day, and you can use an app to help you along, offering everything from vocal guidance to a gentle gong to signify the end of a timed silent session. As far as guided meditations go, they’re now specific to everything from commuting to being sick and there’s even one that addresses nervousness about meditating. And there are devices available to help, like a headband that can track your level of calm and bring your awareness back to your breath with nature sounds.

    Exercise and diet: You’ve got to keep moving. You may already be in shape, or you may be “out of shape,” but in addition to giving yourself permission to replace the sugar in alcohol with the sugar in doughnuts, it’s time to start treating your body better, since there is such a strong connection between your microbiome (gut), your brain (the prefrontal cortex reacts to processed sugar the same way it reacts to opioids—by triggering dopamine) and your overall feeling of being healthy, especially mentally healthy. You don’t need to become someone who runs a 5K or hits the gym every day and pretends to like it. But keeping your body in motion and eating healthier will yield many benefits, some immediate and some that you’ll see over time, including better sleep, improved mood, stress relief, and more. 

    Upgrade Your PPTs (people, places, things) 

    New life, new people, new things, new places, new activities. It doesn’t make sense to keep hanging out at bars anymore, and there’s a difference between showing up to a bridal shower where other women may be drinking and heading to your old haunt where the only thing to do is drink, especially after a stressful day.

    Start to discover the world around you. Try taking some classes, visit new neighborhoods and cultural institutions. See if you can pick up new hobbies or dig deeper into old ones. Use social media and the Internet to track down other people doing the same.

    It can be hard, as an adult, to make new friends, but it’s not impossible. Go somewhere people chat. A dog run or park (if you have a dog or even if you’re just “considering” getting one and gathering information), a meet up for people who love anime, a writer’s collective. Join Facebook groups or browse Meetup and see what’s out there! Taking a class by yourself is also a great way to double down: not only will you learn something new, but you’ll find others who share your interest, maybe even someone else who was also badass enough to show up solo. 

    Logistical Stability

    It’s important to have a healthy eat, sleep, work, play routine, and if you don’t have one, it’s time to make one. 

    You may already have a job that you need to turn your attention to even more deeply, and you may have a passion project you want to add into the mix. Most importantly, you should get involved with volunteer work—you don’t have to serve food at a soup kitchen; maybe you can offer your writing skills to a nonprofit, or if you know graphic design you can help them build their new website. 

    If you don’t have a steady job, look for one—a sober job is often referred to as one that isn’t our dream career, but is a place that we have to show up to regularly, keeps us accountable, provides an environment to socialize with others, and is a way for us to earn honest money. 

    If your current job makes you so unhappy it contributed to your drinking, maybe look around for something better and if you feel you’re ready, go for that dream job.

    Also, make sure your housing situation is safe and affordable, and conducive to your new way of life (i.e., if you chose your roommates because they party 24/7, it might be time to look for a new place).

    Bottom line: It’s dangerous for people who might be using alcohol or drugs to self-medicate depression or other underlying conditions to give up that medication without other supports, tools, and solutions in place. Your life is going to get bigger and better, and you’re going to get healthier—but as with all good things that don’t create a false feeling of safety and happiness, you have to do a little work to get there.

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • "Sober Curious" or Literally Dying: When Saving Your Life Becomes Trendy

    "Sober Curious" or Literally Dying: When Saving Your Life Becomes Trendy

    It’s not my intention to minimize what sober curious folks are doing, but let’s not lose sight of actual alcoholism or addiction either.

    Somewhere in the drunken mess of 2002, I was curious to try the combination of vodka and Klonopin. Ditto, I was a curious little kitten when it came to what could possibly happen if I took acid and ecstasy at the same time! I was curiouser and curiouser about everything, from trying heroin to trying to buy cocaine instead of paying my rent. That’s the sort of curious that kept me in trouble for the better part of two decades, but curious to quit drinking because I just needed a break from partying and how it was affecting my life? Uh, not so much.

    Trendy, Cool, and Not Dying

    If you don’t know what the “sober curious” movement is, you haven’t been paying attention to “sober influencers.” Those phrases actually cause my eyes to deeply roll and my head to shake like a bitchy old neighbor watching you try to parallel park. Look, I don’t know anything about being an influencer unless we’re talking about the fellow teenagers I influenced to take drugs and come to the mall with me in the 80’s. I also don’t know about sobriety being trendy. I didn’t get sober to be cool, I just got sober to stop dying. But I do know that this sober curious movement is an actual thing.

    We (and by that I mean people like me who write about recovery) like to latch our collective wagons to sobriety buzzwords and trends. This summer, the world cannot stop talking about “sober curious.” The term, taken from author Ruby Warrington’s book by the name same, has popped up on every media outlet over the last few months.

    “Sober curious,” for the uninitiated, describes:

    • Folks who don’t need to get sober but who can see the benefits of cutting down or cutting out alcohol completely.
    • Mainly younger people who want to relieve the pressure to drink heavily at social occasions.
    • Folks who are concerned with hangovers and how drinking is affecting their social and professional lives.
    • Whimsical nymphs who want to hang out with their friends but not get loaded.

    In short, the sober curious ain’t me.

    When Alcohol Is Mildly Inconvenient

    See, these folks can take or leave drugs or alcohol. They don’t identify as having a problem. Alcohol is mildly inconvenient for them; it’s like your aunt Linda who eats chicken vindaloo but forgets it gives her heartburn. Fundamentally, I do not understand this way of thinking. The way I’m wired, I like to do substances in amounts that will numb me out completely. I didn’t care if work was going to be hard the next day or if my health was going to be affected. Hell, I needed tequila and cocaine just to get through six-hour shifts waiting tables.

    I mean, why casually use drugs or drink alcohol when you can implode your whole existence? This is a level of insanity that probably isn’t familiar to the “sober curious.” Nevertheless, they’ve decided to rally together and say “We’re just going to stop drinking and it’s okay if you do too!” It’s more like giving up carbs for a trendy diet than, say, being placed on dietary restrictions because otherwise your diabetes will kill you.

    As a movement in and of itself, it’s harmless. I see no problem with people whose brains are very much not like my own who can say, “Maybe I should cool it with the booze for a while.” The fewer people stumbling around, barfing in Ubers, and screaming at each other in Taco Bell at 3 a.m. can only be a good thing for society. The annoying trendiness notwithstanding, sober curious has at the very least made people examine their relationship with alcohol.

    However, I don’t see a lot of “sober curious” folks in the ER or ICU.

    At my day job as a recovery mentor on an addiction medicine team at a busy urban hospital, I see far more people brought in because of the effects drinking has had on their lives than nearly anything else. As devastating as the opioid crisis continues to be, there is a continuous influx of people with alcohol-related health problems. Sure, sure, the emergency room sees a handful of bachelorette party attendees who drank too much and fell down a flight of stairs who show up needing TLC for a busted ankle. But mainly, I witness patients who are way beyond curious.

    They come in broken, in desperate need of medical and psychosocial attention due to their relationships with alcohol. Despite winding up in the hospital, sometimes in terrible condition, many of them think it’s not that bad or that they can just cut down. I certainly identify with this thinking. For decades, I fooled myself into thinking I could outrun it, or that the handful of people I knew who were heavier drinkers meant I couldn’t possibly be that bad.

    This is where the Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD) diagnosis comes in handy. Used in our hospital (and around the country), the diagnosis quickly separates the sober curious from people literally dying. Some NIH assessment questions for AUD include: “Have you continued to drink even though it was causing trouble with your family or friends?” and “Have you experienced craving — a strong need, or urge, to drink?” This sounds wildly different than the interns at the office who decided to cut back on Rosé because it was making them feel icky. It’s not my intention to minimize what sober curious folks are doing, but let’s not lose sight of actual alcoholism or addiction either. Marginalization, ignoring, and minimizing have never done substance use disorders any good.

    If You Drink Again, You Will Die

    For the people I see in hospital beds and for people like me, it’s a matter of life and death.

    Beyond that, this idea that younger people are drinking less and buying less alcohol doesn’t jibe with bigger, more staggering statistics of alcohol-related deaths among millennials. A study from earlier this summer found that folks between the ages of 23 and 38 were dying the most of “deaths of despair”, meaning suicide, overdose, and alcohol-related deaths. Furthermore, additional data shows that from 2009 to 2016 there was a significant increase in cirrhosis-related deaths among millennials, which researchers say was driven by alcohol-related liver disease.

    Over the last year, I have personally worked with a handful of patients under 30 who have the kind of alcoholic liver damage usually only seen in people twice their age. From my position at their bedsides, it certainly doesn’t look like a generation that has this booze thing all figured out. It looks like a group of people being killed even faster than the generation before them. This is a story not buzzword-worthy or even really noticed. About a month ago, I had the honor of sitting with a 28-year-old while he processed the news that if he ever drank again, he’d die. Heavy news for a kid whose friends are all still happy hour-hopping and swilling the latest craft beers. This young man didn’t have the option of being sober curious.

    Yet, as different as Ruby Warrington and I are regarding alcohol, we’re doing the same thing: We’re talking about how much we drink. What if someone reads my stuff and says, “Well at least I don’t drink like that guy!” Likewise, the plethora of sober curious articles might make a reverse light bulb go on for someone. They might seek help after reading about this new trendy health craze and think: “sober curious, that ain’t me.”

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • Is Recovery Possible Without Abstinence?

    Is Recovery Possible Without Abstinence?

    If I told an AA meeting I was having wine once in a while, the group would tell me that I am headed for certain demise.

    Benders, Blackouts, and Finding Recovery

    In 2013, I bottomed out in no uncertain terms. After years of heavy drinking that spawned blackouts and dangerous behavior, I had a three-day bender that left a 24-hour hole in my memory and landed me on the doorstep of a local AA meeting.

    I attended those meetings for a couple of weeks, and they saved my life. In those rooms I found people who validated what I had suspected for a long time: I was an alcoholic.

    When I stopped going to meetings, it wasn’t because I rejected the program. It was because my lifestyle had changed: shortly after I stopped drinking, I uprooted my life and began traveling. Whenever I arrived in a new city, I always looked up a meeting, just in case I needed one. But I never felt the need to go, because I was never tempted to drink. 

    I was sober for nine months when I finally settled in one spot and I felt ready to tackle the program. I returned to the rooms and found a sponsor.

    I’d had high hopes that AA was the missing piece of my sobriety. Those nine sober months had been lonely as I struggled with the unpleasant feelings that had previously been ignored with the help of wine. My friendships had become riddled with conflict as I became sensitive to even minor misunderstandings. When I was drinking, those bumps had been smoothed over with alcohol. Without it, I couldn’t move past an argument. I thought maybe it was a sober thing, and other sober people would have advice for this new territory.

    But my return to AA lacked the same connection I’d initially felt all those months earlier. My new sponsor asked me, with undisguised disbelief, “Nine months, really? All on your own?” She went on to tell me how she had once been sober for three years without AA. She eventually began drinking again because she hadn’t been accountable; she hadn’t told people in her life that she was an alcoholic. 

    Without AA, You Will Fail

    I corrected her assumption that we were the same. “I tell people I’m an alcoholic, and that I am sober.” When she responded with visible relief, I realized that she’d been skeptical about my claim because she assumed I was still in denial. In that moment I felt the inflexibility of the program, and the words of speakers I’d heard echoed in my head: “Without AA, you will fail.” There was no room to do it any other way.

    After that coffee with my sponsor, the hope I’d had for AA dissolved. I realized I wasn’t looking to AA to help me stay sober, I was looking to AA to help me be happy.

    Instead of returning to AA, I found a therapist. At the end of our first session during which I had tearfully explained my sobriety and my sadness, she diagnosed me with severe depression. After hearing my history, she suggested that I had always been depressed and likely self-medicating with alcohol. 

    I asked her about AA, and if she felt it was necessary for me to continue attending.

    “Are you tempted to drink?” she asked.

    “No,” I answered truthfully. Even with the challenges of my new sober life, I’d never considered it. I wanted a solution, and I already knew drinking wasn’t it.

    “It sounds like your lack of connection to the meetings is only furthering the isolation you feel,” she told me. “If you feel like you want to drink, go. But otherwise, it sounds like you’re okay.”

    My sadness wasn’t a byproduct of new sobriety, my sadness was depression. When she told me I didn’t have to go to meetings because I wasn’t struggling not to drink, I was validated.

    Sober, but Not Abstinent

    I began having sips almost two years later. I don’t remember the first one, but I do remember having no desire to get drunk. They continue to be infrequent and small, leaving me with no desire to drink to the point of drunkenness. I have even had a sip too many on occasion: my cheeks flush and my tongue grows loose. I used to drink for that feeling. Now, it stops me in my tracks, repelling my desire for more.

    The commonly understood language of recovery does not allow for this kind of behavior. People on the outside only understand recovery in the terms presented in movies and on television: Alcoholic bottoms out. Alcoholic attends AA meeting. Alcoholic gets shitfaced after having one sip of a drink at a party and AA friends drag her out of a bar. Alcoholic is sober one year, speaks at AA meeting, and then eats cake. 

    And it isn’t just people on the outside. If I told an AA meeting I was having wine once in a while, the group would tell me that I am headed for certain demise.

    To be clear: I am not advising anyone who wants to stop drinking or who is currently sober to try sipping alcohol. Having any amount of alcohol while “in recovery” is a controversial topic and beyond the scope of this article. We all need to do what works for us to stay sober and healthy.

    But in my experience, there’s a difference between sipping and slipping. Before I received my depression diagnosis, there was one purpose to drinking: get drunk. Now that I manage my mental health properly and no longer self-medicate with alcohol by drinking to excess, I don’t have the desire to abuse it.

    Sipping vs. Slipping

    One week into my sobriety, I did come close to slipping. I’d had dinner with a friend after work and on the walk home I started to white-knuckle it. The walk was a landmine of my drinking haunts: the old man bar at the halfway point, the liquor store a couple blocks from my apartment, the fancier bar after that, and then, one building away from mine, another bar.

    Keep walking keep walking keep walking, I coached myself. You’ll go home and answer those emails and have mac and cheese for dinner. Then you’ll go to sleep and get up early tomorrow for your jog to the AA meeting.

    I made it inside my apartment with no detours. But then I checked my email and I read a piece of good news that I had been waiting months to hear. That’s when my resolve wavered. I wanted to celebrate, and my first thought was: Prosecco!

    I paused. I thought about it. What would happen if I did buy that Prosecco? I knew that I would drink it in its entirety by myself. Bottle done, I would head to the bar around the corner and have some more, and finish the night with my usual three-whiskey nightcap.

    I knew that meant I would not wake up early the next day to jog to my morning AA meeting. I knew if I didn’t go to my meeting I was probably going to take the day off being sober, and then the next one and the next.

    What stopped me from drinking that day wasn’t the thought of a horrible hangover, or even the prospect of soul-blackening shame, but the knowledge that my good news would not be any better if I drank to celebrate it. By the same token, the need to celebrate my little victory as a means to offset my usual sadness wasn’t really necessary, because I knew that sadness wasn’t going anywhere—with or without booze. If drinking wasn’t going to make things better—and I knew it wouldn’t—why bother?

    It was years before I recognized I was chasing a feeling of false relief that would never last long enough. Abusing alcohol was, in fact, only making me more sad and depressed. Once I understood the why of my drinking, I was no longer compelled to drink to excess. I had neutered its power over me.

    Will I Be Kicked Out of the Recovery Club?

    Up until I wrote this, I was hiding my sips from all but my closest friends, because there is no vernacular in recovery to explain it. It’s simply easier to say I’m sober, and play along with others’ commonly-held picture of what recovery looks like. That’s easier than opening myself up to the judgment of those who are in recovery—and even those who are not—who will tell me I will fail, as I was told so many years ago by people who had sipped and ultimately slipped. They’d say that by doing this, I cannot consider myself sober. 

    I’d be kicked out of the club.

    As they are, though, my sips are an indulgence, equivalent to the dessert I have a forkful of but don’t need to finish, or an expensive pair of heels I’ll try on, but talk myself out of buying. The sips aren’t samples of what I miss, and they aren’t tests of will. Along with the taste of the wine itself, there are overtones of pleasure and victory and a hint of bitterness mixed in with my relationship to alcohol. The bitterness isn’t because I want more: it is the memory of that never-ending chase and where it led me. The bitterness is the reason I only want a sip—a sip I will continue to take, at my discretion, because I want to, and still remain sober.

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • The Dark Side Of Sobriety Becoming Trendy

    The Dark Side Of Sobriety Becoming Trendy

    While sobriety going mainstream has had a positive impact, there are some who have looked to take advantage of the “sober curious” movement.

    By this point in time, many of us have become exhausted by the phrase “sober curious.” In a few short years, the movement to normalize and encourage people to consider a sober lifestyle has exploded.

    Overall, many see it as a positive shift in our culture of glorified drug and alcohol use and triumphant stories of sloppy intoxication. However, a dark side has inevitably emerged—as people grab the opportunity to make money off of people in need. This is where the movement—which does not distinguish between people in recovery and people who choose to experiment with a sober lifestyle—gets messy.

    “I’m all down with the new sobriety/sober movement but please let’s not forget among the mocktails, the trendiness and the tees with cutesy slogans that for many of us, sobriety wasn’t a health trend, lifestyle choice or a socio-political statement but a matter of life and death,” The Fix contributor and author Amy Dresner said in a Twitter post. Another user replied, “If another person says ‘sober curious’ to me I’m gonna punch them in the neck.”

    The positive impact of this trend is obvious. As Dr. Paul Earley, an addiction medicine physician, told Vox, “If you have younger people who are trying sobriety before the illness has taken hold, we might prevent some people who are on their way toward alcoholism.” Young people who may not be keen on trying out a 12-step program like Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous have another option in seeking out sober communities. These communities, led by social media “influencers,” are doing their part to glamorize the sober lifestyle—for once.

    “It’s almost rebellious in a sense because of how glorified alcohol and drugs have been for so long,” said Austin Cooper, whose @SoberRevolution Instagram account has a following of nearly 60,000.

    On the other hand, Vox reports, there are certain things that people who ally with this movement should be aware of.

    “We need to be really careful about who we trust and we need to make sure that people are licensed or certified in some fashion to ensure that we’re getting the proper treatment,” Kati Morton, a licensed marriage and family therapist, told Vox.

    Morton emphasized that for people who are in need of actual recovery, relying on “sober influencers” won’t be enough to address deep-seated issues—they need counselors, not coaches.

    Vox writer Molly McHugh also noted that not all sober influencers are to be trusted. “There have been numerous instances of Instagram coaches failing to deliver on their promises,” wrote McHugh.

    Cooper says there is a lot of money to be made through “body brokering”—recruiting people as clients for treatment programs—and it is a big problem in the social media sober influencer community as well.

    Also beware of influencers who charge big bucks for the promise of recovery, McHugh writes. “I’m really hesitant to support any of that,” says Morton. “They’re not trained and they don’t understand the nuances. They don’t know what questions to ask.”

    At the end of the day, McHugh concludes that the growing curiosity around sobriety is a good thing overall.

    “I still see people saying everybody who doesn’t do 12 steps is going to die. And it’s just not true,” Cooper said. “I haven’t been to a 12-step meeting in five out of my six years of sobriety. There’s not one way for everybody, so I think it’s great when people can be an influencer and be able to provide resources for all walks of life.”

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • Could The Rebranding Of Sobriety Change Our Attitudes Toward Drinking?

    Could The Rebranding Of Sobriety Change Our Attitudes Toward Drinking?

    Is the sober curious movement strong enough to change America’s relationship with alcohol?

    Beyond the sober-friendly bars and fresh mocktails popping up on menus, there’s a whole world of workshops, online and real-life communities, alcohol-free parties and social media-based “programs” to help people cut down on drinking.

    The growing “sober curious”—or “elective sobriety”—trend is attracting not just people forcing away a drinking problem, but the full spectrum of non-drinkers.

    “Sobriety is getting rebranded,” as author Virginia Sole-Smith declared on the website Medium in April. Sole-Smith, the author of The Eating Instinct, examines this budding lifestyle movement. Is it a trend, or something more? In the writer’s own words, “Is this just wellness culture in overdrive? Or is the U.S. starting to change its relationship with booze?”

    As Sole-Smith notes, while 64% of people keep their drinking at moderate, “low-risk” levels and do not qualify as having alcohol use disorder, that doesn’t mean their drinking habits are problem-free.

    “We’re finding a lot of unhealthy patterning buried within that ‘moderate-drinking’ group,” said Timothy Naimi, MD, a professor at the Boston University Schools of Medicine and Public Health. “I think many of us now recognize that alcohol consumption exists on a continuum and a lot of us are consuming alcohol to excess on a regular basis.”

    Joy Manning, who nurtures real-life and online sober communities with her friend Annie Baum-Stein, told Sole-Smith that their sober happy hours attract “the full spectrum” of people who choose not to drink.

    “We definitely have people who strongly identify as alcoholics in recovery and are doing the whole 12-step lifestyle. But there are also people who just want to embrace an alcohol-free life and see that as a positive upgrade,” she said. “And then there are people who do drink, but are just sick of every event revolving around alcohol.”

    “Sober experiments” like Dry January and Sober October challenge drinkers to lay off the booze for a month at a time. Even for people who don’t identify as alcoholics, it’s a chance to cut back and reflect on drinking habits.

    “I think there are more and more people who are saying, ‘Hold on, I’m concerned about my drinking and I would love a way to work on that where I don’t have to explain it all to people.’ That’s what these sobriety experiments can be,” said Jessica Lahey, author of The Gift of Failure.

    Lahey said that before she was ready to fully embrace meetings and around-the-clock sobriety, she would stop drinking here and there for months at a time. “I don’t see those as failed attempts at sobriety, I see those as times when I was starting to really look at my relationship with alcohol.”

    As Erin Shaw Street of the Tell Better Stories movement told Sole-Smith, “The dominant cultural message is that alcohol is a lifestyle accessory.” But not for long, it seems. “Elective sobriety” is catching up to our attitudes toward drinking. Being sober is no longer lame—it’s a lifestyle choice. And there are a growing number of venues and supportive communities that now cater to this lifestyle.

    This budding movement encourages us to be conscious of our drinking, no matter how disciplined we are. It offers a chance to step back and reflect. And that’s a good thing.

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • Alaska Celebrates Sobriety Awareness Month

    Alaska Celebrates Sobriety Awareness Month

    The state will play host to a variety of sobriety-inspired events, wrapping up with a “nationally touring sober pop-up event” on March 30.

    This March, more Alaskans than ever will celebrate Sobriety Awareness Month. This tradition began with the Alaska Native Sobriety Movement, which was created in 1989 by the Alaska Federation of Natives.

    In 1995, the tradition of both the state legislature and governor officially dedicating March Sobriety Awareness Month began. Last year, Alaska made it official by signing the tradition into law.

    The sobriety movement has roots in fighting addiction, and the movement is expanding and attracting more people than ever. This includes people who don’t necessarily have addiction disorders but are concerned about the overall health issues associated with regular drug and alcohol consumption, and are tired of what people are calling a stigma against sobriety.

    “Alcohol is so present in our society, whether we’re listening to music or seeing ads in magazines, whether we’re celebrating or mourning, if we want to relax or get pumped up, alcohol is everywhere,” Recovery Alaska Executive Director Tiffany Hall told Anchorage Press. “Hopefully this month will encourage people to start thinking about the presence of alcohol in their lives and getting creative with other ways to celebrate or relax. There’s a misperception that sobriety is boring or anti-social, but it couldn’t be further from the truth.”

    The growing sobriety movement is evident in how many restaurants and bars are offering more alcohol-free mixed drinks. Sober or “sans bar” pop-up events are also becoming more common. The idea is to provide people with a night of food, socializing, music, dancing, and more—without the pressure to drink.

    The trend appears to be appealing quite a bit to millennials.

    “Sober dance parties like DayBreaker are becoming the new rage, inviting guests to ‘DOSE’ on all-natural chemicals like Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin, and Endorphins before heading out for a work day,” wrote Jules Schroeder for Forbes. “For millennials today, it’s become somewhat of a faux pas to drink. While our parents’ generation considered booze cool, we think it the opposite. Instead, connection, authenticity, and mindfulness are what’s catching on, and as a result, producing many benefits.”

    Back in Alaska, there will be “Dry Weekend Challenges” and new featured alcohol-free drinks at bars and restaurants across the state, ending in a “nationally touring sober pop-up event” on March 30 with live music from Alaskan musician Emma Hill and Athabaskan and Inupiaq singer-songwriter Quinn C.

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • Being "Sober Curious" Helps Some Explore Relationship With Alcohol

    Being "Sober Curious" Helps Some Explore Relationship With Alcohol

    “Being sober curious is about ­questioning every impulse or expectation to drink and using the answers to inform whether or not you actually drink,” says the author who coined the term.

    Make room, Dry January—there’s another sobriety exploration method in town. 

    In recent months, the term “sober curious” has become more prominent. Rather than abstaining completely from alcohol, those who are sober curious may choose to take a break from drinking and give some thought to their relationship with alcohol. 

    The concept, according to Time, was coined by Ruby Warrington and is the title of her new book as well. 

    In the book, Warrington explores the idea of reexamining one’s relationship with alcohol. Time reports that while Warrington never struggled with substance use disorder, she did use alcohol to be more at ease in social situations and to cope with or cover her feelings. 

    “Being sober curious is about ­questioning every impulse or expectation to drink and using the answers to inform whether or not you actually drink,” Warrington tells Cosmopolitan. 

    While Warrington doesn’t necessarily press the idea that alcohol should be cut out of one’s life forever, she does think there are benefits to stepping back from it. She says, according to Time, that rather than squeeze out confidence from alcohol, it can come from healthier methods, like positive affirmations and power poses. 

    In addition to helping her mentally, Warrington tells Cosmopolitan that cutting down alcohol helped her feel better physically. “My anxiety levels were lower. I woke up fresh. I had so much more energy,” she said.

    In the book, Warrington also addresses the idea of FOMA, or “fear of missing alcohol.” She provides some advice to get around this fear, such as taking part in new hobbies or ditching dinner plans and going out for brunch instead. 

    Psychotherapist Alison Stone tells Bustle that being “sober curious” isn’t restrictive and allows people to make decisions based on their feelings. 

    “Identifying as sober curious prevents us from falling into a black and white way of thinking, feeling, and behaving,” she said. “It can help us better understand our relationship with alcohol, too—when do we drink more than we intended to? Are we drinking because we want to, or because we feel we need to? Having curiosity opens up the possibilities to better understand ourselves and our motives for doing things.”

    Stone adds that when something in one’s life is restricted or completely off limits, it may just make that person want it more. In that way, being sober curious is beneficial. “That is partially due to the psychological impact of making an extreme decision—there are often parts of us that want to do the exact opposite of that decision,” Stone stated. 

    But while being sober curious may work for some, others may need to stick to complete abstinence from alcohol. 

    View the original article at thefix.com