I lay on this bed encased by these walls. sober now.
I can feel the pain of all my flaws.
Peaceful and lost in the illusion I slept thru all my loved ones’ cries.
Even her kind eyes couldn’t keep me from wanting to end my life.
Caged outside my mind also brings confinement inside.
My willpower shatters faced with all the brain cells I’ve fried.
I was captivated by her pinprick of charm.
Why didn’t God save me from sticking her into my arm?
How could a bag bring such pleasure and pain?
I still sit N stare, insanely at my veins.
The bruises of this Lust affair dance up n down my body.
Track marks tell the world far too much about me.
Only time I felt Joy was with the pull of the plunger.
Within the next few seconds, a nodded out slumber.
Blue in the Lips N White in the Face.
But with a shot or 2 of Narcan, it becomes just another day.
Awakening startled I just overdosed, Yet still cursing at the E.M.T…
“Next time just let me Go!”
This tragedy to U has become my Life, U see?
Inside I feel I’m No One.
Just a junkie In long sleeves.
I’ve become the monster U all made me out to be.
And with a needle and a spoon, I’d nod my way to peace.
Sleep away the day and steady search thru the nite.
The daily fucking routine of a stupid dope heads Life.
I snatch the mirror that I see myself in off the wall.
As I looked inside I loathed the person that I saw.
Sometimes in my Heart creeps a tiny bit of hope.
I wish upon a star for the power to just stop shooting dope.
But then Bam reality hits.
So I’ve stopped throwing pennies and seeking shooting stars.
Because I’ve learned prayers don’t get answered for those who are the likes of ours…
“THIS IS A HEROIN ADDICT’S MIND”
“Or at least this addicts mind”
HOWEVER, IF YOU FIRST LISTEN TO YOUR HEART AND EMBRACE CHANGE, YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR THINKING AND USE IT AS YOUR COCOON. AND I PROMISE IF YOU DO THIS CONFIDENTLY AND PATIENTLY THEN U2 WILL EMERGE AND FLY LIKE A BUTTERFLY.LEAViNG OLD REGRETS BEHIND AND NEW MEMORIES AHEAD.
Michael Henry Roberts