Answer Addiction

Author: The Fix

  • Married to a Normie: Relationship Rules

    Married to a Normie: Relationship Rules

    Even though it’s a positive change, adjusting to marriage with a newly sober spouse is a challenge. Some situations are a little tricky to navigate.

    After being with my husband for 15 years, it might seem like there would be few suprises left. We have the kind of relationship that includes conversations like, “Hey, Harmony, will you cut off this skin tag on my back?” followed by, “Um, no; I’ll make you a doctor’s appointment.” And later, “Does this look infected to you?”

    Robbie is what people in recovery like to call a “normie.” When it comes to alcohol, he can take it or leave it. He can just have one beer, and he doesn’t obsess over when he’ll have the next one. He likes to have fun, and he doesn’t really care if that fun involves alcohol. By the time I entered recovery, he rarely drank anymore; I was always the one drinking, and one of us had to stay sober enough to drive.

    The suprise here is that I am the alcoholic and he is the normie, because everyone who knows us assumed it was the other way around.

    My husband and I built the foundation of our relationship on having as much fun as possible. (Read: we partied a lot.) We’ve been to New Orleans, our closest major city, many times over the years, visiting for Mardi Gras, romantic getaways, concerts, plays, art events, and stuff with our kids. In true alcoholic form, I remember very little of any of it.

    Since I entered recovery, our relationship has shifted considerably. He is exactly the same as he’s always been, but everything about me is changing — how I react to things, what I do and say, how I view and enjoy my life, and how I relate to my husband. All these changes bring up a lot of questions and discussions, obviously, like if we go to New Orleans, will my husband drink? How much? Will I be able to handle it?

    Recently, he scored amazing tickets to an NFL game in the New Orleans Superdome. When he asked me to go, I panicked: I’ve got under two years of sobriety under my belt, and we’ve never been to any major city without alcohol. In fact, the last time we went down there, I started with a hand grenade on Bourbon Street and ended with what I believe to be absinthe. None of this was my husband’s fault — we were just there having fun — but his version of “fun” is a lot less dangerous than mine. When I start drinking, I drink to forget.

    Neither of us knew how severe my issues were when we met and fell in love. We got married, had a bunch of kids, and BAM! I was in so deep I almost didn’t find my way out. But that’s the beauty of true partnership; Robbie supports me fully in everything I do, and he wants nothing more than to see me happy and healthy. Even so, adjusting to the evolution is a challenge, and even though it is a very positive change for our family, there are still times when it can be a little tricky to navigate.

    So, what does my sobriety mean for us as a couple? What are the rules of marriage when one person is an addict and the other is not?

    What to do with the alcohol. The issue of what is and is not allowed in the house is a big one. I’m a stay-at-home mom, which means I’m the one staring at the liquor cabinet at 5 p.m. while our children complain about dinner. For us, getting the alcohol out of the house and keeping it out was vital to maintaining my sobriety. I can’t even have Oreos in the house, lest I eat them all, so for now, it’s better this way.

    However, I do know many couples who still have alcohol at home and the alcoholic partner isn’t bothered by it. It really boils down to triggers. I, for example, am triggered every damn day when I’m home alone with the kids. If I have alcohol around me and no other adults as backup, I would have a very hard time resisting. Robbie understands that and it’s not a problem for us. Also, we didn’t have to throw any of it out because I drank every last drop of it myself before sobering up.

    Prescription medication. Because I’m the mom, I’ve always been in charge of the meds. Uh, I wasn’t exactly responsible — and it was very hard to admit that, both to myself and to my husband. So for a while, and at different points since then, he’s had to take over administering the medication so I don’t eat the entire bottle like candy. He’s been willing to do that because he knows it’s an easy way to help me on my journey to wellness.

    What about the chocolate? One of the biggest problems I’ve had in recovery is my insane sweet tooth. Every time my husband or the kids bring home candy, cupcakes, Lucky Charms, or cake, I generally eat it all before they have a chance to even taste it. Robbie started hiding his stash of cookies from me, which naturally I found, and to be honest we’ve had more spats over the junk food than anything else.

    Am I always going to be the designated driver? GOD NO. I’m not stable enough to drive around a bunch of drunks. This is why there is Uber.

    Football season is huge in our house, and as I mentioned above, we went to an NFL game where everyone was drinking. And it was tough — but as long as I’m honest with him about my struggles, he is happy to help. It’s the honesty part that gets me: being willing to admit that I am powerless over alcohol.

    On the morning of the game, I got up early to attend a meeting, and prepared before we left to avoid getting too hungry, tired, or thirsty. It was literally the most fun I’ve ever had at a football game, ever — and that includes when I was drinking.

    Parties! We go to them. We might have to leave earlier than we’d like. I hope that gets better, but I’m proud of myself for going.

    Meetings. We have three children under the age of 10, and my husband is rarely home before 8 p.m. Finagling our schedules to allow for me to make it to meetings is probably one of the biggest issues we face, and sometimes I get resentful when I really need to go but have to wait until another time. He learned pretty quickly that when I go, I’m much easier to live with, so he does everything he can to accommodate me. Smart man.

    Sex. That’s a topic for a whole other essay. Suffice it to say, it’s been an adjustment.

    I can honestly say, for the first time in a very long while, that I’m truly the person that Robbie fell in love with all those years ago, and his patience with me as I fumble my way through recovery has completely renewed the love I have for him. Marriage in recovery is a beautiful, beautiful thing.

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • Lack Of Mental Health Resources A Global Issue

    Lack Of Mental Health Resources A Global Issue

    “All countries can be thought of as developing countries in the context of mental health,” says a new global mental health report.

    A lack of resources for those dealing with mental health issues is a major problem around the world, a new report has found. 

    The report by the Lancet Commission on Global Mental Health, which took three years to compile, was released last week at a London summit. 

    The report, which is 45 pages long, details the state of mental health treatment around the world. According to the authors—28 mental health researchers, clinicians and advocates from five continents—there are “pitifully small” levels of financial support from governments and assistance groups when it comes to mental health research and care. 

    Low-income communities, according to NPR, are being hit particularly hard. The report states that in developing countries, only one in 27 people with depression receive the necessary treatment. And in countries with more money, the care isn’t necessarily better. In fact, the report states that “all countries can be thought of as developing countries in the context of mental health.”

    The financial aspect, according to the report, is the main problem. The Lancet Commission states that funding availability is “alarmingly low” when compared to what was spent on other diseases in 2013 in comparison to mental illness.

    For example, for every year of healthy life lost to mental illness, the report found that global health donors had provided $0.85. But for HIV/AIDS, they had provided $144 for every year, and $48 for TB and malaria.

    According to psychiatrist Julian Eaton, part of the reason for the lack of funding has to do with cultural differences. 

    “In the academic world there has been an ongoing sometimes quite angry debate about whether it’s appropriate to export Western ideas about mental ill health to other countries,” Eaton told NPR.

    The stigma surrounding mental health issues also plays a role. Janice Cooper, who runs the Carter Center’s mental health center in Liberia, tells NPR that stigma is a problem in developing and developed countries. 

    “There’s ignorance, there’s the perception of contagion, there’s the notion that in some quarters this is not important,” she said. 

    According to NPR, the Commission recruited 15 youth leaders from around the world to spread messages about mental health on social media and get younger generations discussing it.

    Twenty-five-year-old Grace Gatera of Rwanda is one of the 15. She says the conflict in the country resulted in PTSD for her, as well as two suicide attempts. She tells NPR that the government doesn’t make mental health a priority. 

    “It’ll be like let’s deal with this crisis and deal with the crisis that comes after that and maybe when we get time we’ll talk about mental health,” she said. 

    Eaton says that despite the report’s findings, she and other commissioners were excited to receive the support for the summit from some international and British government organizations in addition to some private ones. They were also encouraged when royals Prince William and Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge, attended the summit. 

    “But people are yet to sign the checks,” Eaton said.

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • Marijuana Is Now Legal In Canada

    Marijuana Is Now Legal In Canada

    While cannabis enthusiasts rejoiced, policymakers cautioned that the legalization effort would have unpredictable, wide-ranging effects.

    While the United States has dabbled in legalizing marijuana in piecemeal legislation passed through the states, our neighbors to the north have fully ended the prohibition on cannabis, becoming just the second country in the world to legalize marijuana. 

    The new law took effect Wednesday at midnight, with Canadians from coast to coast hosting parties to smoke in freedom, according to The New York Times. The legalization fulfilled a campaign promise by Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. 

    “The fact that we are moving away from a Prohibition model is a victory for human rights and social justice, an economic windfall for the Canadian economy and a sign of social progress,” said Adam Greenblatt, a director at Canopy Growth, a producer that has been valued at more than $10 billion, told the Times. 

    While cannabis enthusiasts rejoiced, policymakers cautioned that the legalization effort would have wide-ranging effects, some of which would be hard to predict. 

    “Legalization of cannabis is the largest public policy shift this country has experienced in the past five decades,” said Mike Farnworth, British Columbia’s minister of public safety. “It’s an octopus with many tentacles, and there are many unknowns. I don’t think that when the federal government decided to legalize marijuana, it thought through all of the implications.”

    The Canadian Medical Association Journal took a strong stance against the move, calling the legalization plan an “uncontrolled experiment in which the profits of cannabis producers and tax revenues are squarely pitched against the health of Canadians.”

    Under the new law, Canadian adults can possess up to 30 grams of marijuana and have up to four plants growing at home. The logistics of the legislation—like setting up marketplaces—was left up to municipalities, meaning that it will vary across the country. The federal government will also be examining how to adjust the criminal records of people with marijuana-related offenses. 

    To deal with intoxicated driving, the number of police certified in sobriety tests will double over the next few years. However, other than keeping risky drivers off the road, the police did not seem too concerned with the change in the law. 

    “Fentanyl kills 11 Canadians a day,” Adam Palmer, Chief Constable of the Vancouver Police Department and the president of the Canadian Association of Chiefs of Police said. “Marijuana does not.”

    While many people celebrated legalization, some cannabis consumers said that it was just a way for the government and big business to get their hands into the pot industry, which was estimated to be worth $5.6 billion in Canada last year. 

    “People don’t want to buy government-approved joints,” said Jodie Emery, a leading cannabis activist in Vancouver. “Legalization is little more than the whitewashing of cannabis culture.”

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ Sister Dies From Overdose

    Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ Sister Dies From Overdose

    Emma Louis-Dreyfus was 44.

    The half-sister of Julia Louis-Dreyfus, star of the HBO series Veep who is best known for her role as Elaine in Seinfeld, died of a cocaine and alcohol overdose while camping in California in August. 

    According to the DailyMail, Emma Louis-Dreyfus, 44, died on August 13 at a campsite in South Yuba River State Park in California. Responders were called to the campsite around 9:30 a.m. for reports of a woman who was having a seizure and unresponsive. It’s not clear whether Louis-Dreyfus died in the campsite or was pronounced dead at the hospital. 

    After her death, the Nevada County Coroner’s Office ruled that the cause was an accident caused by cocaine and ethanol intoxication. 

    “Emma loved the city life and she also loved the countryside, particularly the Sierra Nevada and Teton mountains,” her obituary read. “One of her favorite weekend getaways was the Yuba River. It was along that river where Emma died of an apparent seizure while camping with friends near Purdon Crossing.”

    Emma and Julie Louis-Dreyfus are both the daughters of deceased billionaire William Louis-Dreyfus, who had an estimated wealth of $3.4 billion when he died in 2016. Control of Emma Louis-Dreyfus’ estate, estimated to be worth $23 million, was awarded to her mother. 

    Julia Louis-Dreyfus was mentioned in Emma’s obituary as a surviving family member, but the star did not publicly comment on her sister’s death.

    The DailyMail reported that Julia was promoting Veep on social media just two days after Emma’s death, suggesting that the sisters were not close.

    However, Emma’s obituary read “Emma adored children, especially her niece and nephews,” which presumably includes Julia’s two sons. 

    Emma seems to have had plans to use her wealth to invest in California’s legal marijuana industry. In July, she set up a company called Etta Duane Industries in order to develop property for marijuana production. She reportedly invested $4.5 million in the venture, with a business partner investing $5,000. 

    Outside of that business venture, Emma worked as a social worker. She was born and raised in New York, and graduated from Brown University with a bachelor’s degree in Psychology before completing a Masters in Social Welfare degree in 2002 from the University of California, Berkeley. She was a bilingual therapist who was fluent in Spanish, and recently completed a certificate in healing childhood trauma 

    “In her career, Emma was a clinical social worker and family therapist, a calling that included child advocacy, community activism, training and supervision,” her obituary read.

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • Moving Obituary For Mom With Opioid Addiction Goes Viral

    Moving Obituary For Mom With Opioid Addiction Goes Viral

    The obituary recounts Madelyn Ellen Linsenmeir’s ensuing addiction to opioids and her family’s determination to help her overcome it.

    The heartbreaking and loving obituary written for Madelyn Ellen Linsenmeir after her overdose death has gone viral. Her family shared Madelyn’s long struggle with addiction while reaching out to those still struggling, asking them to hold on to hope and keep trying.

    Madelyn Ellen Linsenmeir died on October 7, 2018, leaving behind her family and a small son, Ayden. Madelyn’s family recounted how after a move from Vermont to Florida, she took her first OxyContin pill at a party.

    The obituary, which was originally published in the Burlington Free Press, recounts Madelyn’s ensuing addiction to opioids and her family’s determination to help her overcome it.

    Madelyn’s family also emphasized that she was, first and foremost, a human being who was loved.

    “It is impossible to capture a person in an obituary, and especially someone whose adult life was largely defined by drug addiction. To some, Maddie was just a junkie—when they saw her addiction they stopped seeing her. And what a loss for them. Because Maddie was hilarious, and warm, and fearless, and resilient. She could and would talk to anyone, and when you were in her company you wanted to stay. In a system that seems to have hardened itself against addicts and is failing them every day, she befriended and delighted cops, social workers, public defenders, and doctors, who advocated for and believed in her till the end.”

    Madelyn’s family wrote about her determination to stay sober after the birth of her son. “After having Ayden Maddie tried harder and more relentlessly to stay sober than we have ever seen anyone try at anything. But she relapsed and ultimately lost custody of her son, a loss that was unbearable.”

    The family continued with unusual honesty to recount the reality of what an ongoing drug addiction does to a person. “During the past two years especially, her disease brought her to places of incredible darkness, and this darkness compounded on itself, as each unspeakable thing that happened to her and each horrible thing she did in the name of her disease exponentially increased her pain and shame.”

    Yet they cherished every moment with her, writing, “For 12 days this summer she was home, and for most of that time she was sober. For those 12 wonderful days, full of swimming and Disney movies and family dinners, we believed as we always did that she would overcome her disease and make the life for herself we knew she deserved. We believed this until the moment she took her last breath.”

    In 2016, 63,600 Americans fatally overdosed with nearly two-thirds of deaths involving a prescription or illegal opioid. Since 2016 the problem has only increased.

    Linsenmeir’s family is just one of many that have written searingly honest obituaries illustrating the ultimate cost of addiction. When Gwen Knox lost her son Kurt to an overdose at 49 years old, she also wrote an honest and loving obituary on the reality of Kurt’s addiction that went viral.

    The family asked for donations in Madelyn’s name be made to the Turning Point Center. They asked those who judge addiction issues to “educate yourself about this disease, because that is what it is. It is not a choice or a weakness.”

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • Thousands More Cases Up For Dismissal Due To Corrupt Drug Lab Chemist

    Thousands More Cases Up For Dismissal Due To Corrupt Drug Lab Chemist

    The ACLU estimates that at least 12,000 cases will be dismissed as a result of Sonja Farak’s actions.

    A disgraced state chemist who admitted to tampering with, stealing and using drug evidence, completed her 18-month prison sentence in 2015. But we’re still seeing the impact of Sonja Farak’s misconduct while testing drug evidence for the state of Massachusetts for over a decade.

    The Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court (SJC) ruled last Thursday (Oct. 11) that more drug-related cases should be dismissed as a result of Farak’s actions. While the exact number of affected cases is to be determined, the American Civil Liberties Union of Massachusetts estimated that it could be at least 12,000 or more, according to WBUR.

    “We conclude that Farak’s widespread evidence tampering has compromised the integrity of thousands of drug convictions apart from those that the Commonwealth has agreed should be vacated and dismissed,” said Associate Justice Frank Gaziano. “Her misconduct, compounded by prosecutorial misconduct, requires that this court exercise its superintendence authority and vacate and dismiss all criminal convictions tainted by governmental wrongdoing.”

    Farak was at the Amherst lab for 11 years. Not only was she stealing drug samples and tampering with evidence, she was under the influence while working.

    The SJC already ruled in April that more than 7,500 cases should be dismissed, because Farak had signed off on them. However, the court has now agreed to invalidate every drug sample tested at the Amherst lab where Farak worked—even if she did not sign off on them—as well as the cases related to the drug sample.

    In 2013, Sonja Farak was arrested for stealing cocaine from the Amherst lab, which has since closed. She eventually admitted to tampering with drug evidence and making a “daily habit of treating the drug lab’s evidence supply as a personal narcotics buffet” for nearly a decade before her arrest, according to Courthouse News.

    New “Farak defendants” whose cases will be affected include “those convicted of methamphetamine offenses while Farak worked at the Amherst lab, and any defendants who had drugs in their cases tested between January 2009 and January 2013—the last four years that Farak was at the lab.

    For now, the ACLU and Committee for Public Counsel Services (CPCS) have been tasked with identifying the new Farak defendants and determining how many new cases should be dismissed.

    “There’s a lot of work to be done, but we’re incredibly pleased to have all this work to do to get people the justice they deserve and be able to move on from this disaster,” said Rebecca Jacobstein, staff attorney for the CPCS.

    This is not the first time that thousands of drug-related cases have been dismissed as a result of a state chemist being found guilty of misconduct.

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • How "This Is Us" Encourages Men To Speak About Mental Health

    How "This Is Us" Encourages Men To Speak About Mental Health

    The critically-acclaimed series showcased a candid conversation about mental health in a recent episode.

    Warning: This article may contain spoilers.

    The NBC drama series This Is Us doesn’t shy from addressing tough issues like the stress of in-vitro fertilization and the trauma of war. In the most recent episode, the show depicts two men talking about mental health. This simple exchange, broadcast on a major TV network, is more impactful than we know.

    A conversation between brothers-in-law Randall (played by Sterling K. Brown) and Toby (Chris Sullivan) turns to their personal demons.

    “I can’t picture you with anxiety. You know, the way you present,” says Toby. “That’s what we do, right? Men,” Randall replies.

    Toby, who we know has struggled with depression in the past, said that without his medication for his condition, “life gets pretty scary.” Randall is surprised to learn that his brother is medicating for depression. “Never would have known.”

    Toby’s depression diagnosis surfaced after separating with his first wife. And as he and wife Kate Pearson (played by Chrissy Metz) struggle to conceive, he is informed by a doctor that his depression medication may be affecting his sperm.

    As for Randall, his anxiety surfaced near the end of Season 1, when he had a panic attack, and it was addressed further, rather accurately, in Season 2. We learn that he has dealt with anxiety since he was a child and suffers panic attacks from time to time.

    Writer and co-executive producer KJ Steinberg, described the making of the normally taboo conversation between Randall and Toby. “[It’s] actually a really sensitive conversation,” he said. “The fear is to treat it too glibly. You never want anything to appear too simple. But you also are writing for characters who share an intimacy and a need to connect with one another.”

    Overall, the show is not afraid to depict the vulnerabilities of the men on the show. We learn that Jack Pearson (Milo Ventimiglia) had a drinking problem, as did his father. “We’re a family of addicts. Our father was an addict. We don’t talk about his drinking problem,” said Jack’s son Kevin (Justin Hartley), who faced his own addiction to opioid painkillers.

    Public health campaigns like Heads Together in the UK encourage people to speak up, not hide away, mental health issues they may be struggling with—particularly men. Retired Olympic medalist Michael Phelps is also on a mission to shed the stigma of mental health issues. He has publicly discussed his own struggles with depression and alcohol on many occasions.

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • She Recovers Brings High End Feminist Recovery to Los Angeles

    She Recovers Brings High End Feminist Recovery to Los Angeles

    I could say a hundred things about every incredible woman I encountered over the weekend and it would not hold a candle to the inspiration I felt. The only catch? The price of admission.

    One year ago, Harvey Weinstein and men like him were purged from their high positions in industry jobs due to allegations of sexual assault, misconduct and worse. Across the nation, dominoes fell while survivors locked arms and commiserated. Crooked Rehabs and their rapey cult leaders were dethroned or taken to prison along with Bill Cosby—their paternal halos were tossed back into the stream that raged forward without them. Me Too and Time’s Up have gained momentum as women insist on equity and diversity in every corner of our lives whether it’s work, rehab or the Olympics.

    On Friday, September 14th, hundreds of women redefined recovery for themselves with a fresh, feminist lens at She Recovers, a conference held at The Beverly Hills Hilton. She Recovers was founded in 2011 by Dr. Dawn Nickels, a warm, honey-haired overly credentialed sober badass from Victoria, Canada who has accumulated decades of 12-step recovery and one prescription drug relapse after she lost her mother to Leukemia. With years in AA, Dr. Nickels saw a missing piece of the Big Book that excluded women. She wanted to offer an alternative for women who long for that missing piece.

    She Recovers is branded around the idea that we are all struggling to recover from something—not only drugs and alcohol. This expanded view of recovery has the potential to reach women who have survived sexual assault, abuse, cancer, heartache, self-harm, homelessness, eating disorders and all kinds of suffering. The weekend was dedicated to healing. The only catch? The price of admission.

    I received a few emails from Dr. Nickels confirming the schedule of events and I was really excited to attend. Not only did the line-up include comedians and authors I’ve long loved like Cheryl Strayed, Janet Mock, Amy Dresner, Sarah Blondin, Tara Mohr, Mackenzie Phillips, Laurie Dhue and others, but there were several workshop panels offered with helpful, vital topics like “Changing our Relationship with Food” (Shelly-Anne McKay), and “Money as Power” (Allison Kylstad), “Standing our Ground” (Darlene Lancer), and even “Finding Forgiveness” (Ester Nicholson). The mind, body, spirit approach to recovery was factored into the weekend to include fitness classes like Yoga by Taryn Strong, Pilates, meditation, and an early morning run.

    I drove to the Beverly Hills Hilton and arrived after registration opened at around 3:30 p.m. After getting off the elevator, I stepped into a conference room that was turned into a temporary mini-marketplace. Tables and fashion racks displayed oceans of lotions, soaps and mood lifting supplements, dark chocolate and yoga pants. Postcards and stickers offered the promise of energy shifts and emotional well-being. I figured if I was going to focus on recovery all weekend, I wanted a mental lubricant in the form of a dopamine supplement. I was being marketed to like a mofo and the rhetorical trope was tailored to fit. The buy message on tap was this:

    You are perimenopausal and you are raging. Your sleep is shit and your relationships are strained. You are horny. You are prickly. Take the gummies and no one gets hurt.

    I snatched the vegan, non-GMO dopamine-enhanced gummy bears and pocketed the chocolate for later.

    Around the corner, a half-dozen aggressively kind, smiling women sat behind long plastic registration tables handing out laminated passes. They directed me to where the opening reception was held.

    The Beverly Hills Hilton is a fancy place. And She Recovers attracts fancy women.

    According to their website and other sources, the bulk of paying attendees are the wealthy, white feminist elite ages 30-69 with a household income of 80K and over. Registration costs $500, not including the rooms or the parking.

    I asked Dr. Nickels how she planned to engage younger women, women of color, other-abled and the LGBTQ community. She replied, “The thing that we are most proud of related to LA is that we awarded 40 scholarships. We have been attracting WOC and members of the LGBTQ to our community – especially LGB – but we recognize much more needs to be done. We also need to work harder to include other-abled women to join us. We were very fortunate to have already made close connections with some amazing WOC and thus our program exhibited much more diversity than we had been able to do in NYC. Janet Mock is a powerhouse – and we loved having her – but despite efforts to do so, we didn’t have any success making direct contact with influencers in the trans community in LA to ensure that the trans community knew about our event.”

    Given the steep cost of the weekend and the fact that registration for the conference was sold out, I wondered if presenters were paid or not, so I asked around. Those who answered requested anonymity.

    Some presenters were not offered payment, but their registration fees were waived. The speakers and presenters who were not paid were happy to be asked but some were disappointed they were not offered the opportunity to have a book signing. Two of the speakers were paid high fees (between 16 and 20K) to speak. Those who were not paid used the weekend to promote their materials and businesses; they also wanted to share their experiences and connect to other women in recovery. So, who gets a seat at the table? Follow the money and you can see that She Recovers prioritizes celebrity.

    This is where AA (and other 12-step programs) and She Recovers part company: AA has no red carpet; AA doesn’t cost money to attend and speakers are not paid at meetings. AA is an anonymous program that does not acknowledge celebrity or participate in the cult of personality—at least not as outlined in the traditions. While it has its own shortcomings, AA welcomes everyone.

    Outside on the grass, several women stood in small clusters by a table of pastel colored macaroons. One of them was Shelly-Anne McKay, a delightful woman from Sasquatch Canada who led the panel on our relationship with food. Another woman told us she had just arrived from France. Others chimed in from the Bay Area, Washington and Oregon. When I asked the group what they were recovering from, the ones that replied stared up at the cerulean late afternoon sky and said, “Everything.”

    I asked Shelly-Anne McKay what brought her here. She replied: “I love the She Recovers philosophy that every woman’s path to recovery may be unique. Not everyone finds solace in AA.”

    I should tell you now I’m 23 years sober in AA and have studied the Big Book (the basic text of Alcoholics Anonymous). It was written by and about men. The language is old-timey and urges men to check their overinflated egos, to give up “golf fever” and to dive into service instead. The narrative of the shattered, broken self is a theme that is relieved by the belief in a higher power. The one chapter to women, “To Wives,” is heteronormative and sexist, designed to pacify neglected women and encourage them not to make waves.

    She Recovers was designed for wave-makers.

    Back in the ballroom, the first keynote speaker was wave-maker Cheryl Strayed. Interestingly, Strayed is not in AA and does not consider herself an addict (to my knowledge). But before she spoke, Paula Williams took the stage.

    I was concerned for Williams the same way I am for any person with no public speaking experience who collapses under the pressure of adrenaline and stage fright. She seemed mortified to be center stage and she spoke to that. In that moment of terror, I fell in love with her rawness. Williams constructed an art installation — definitely my favorite thing in the mini-marketplace room — called “Shame Booth” (also the name of her podcast) where a person could sit alone inside a vintage phone booth and confess their secrets into a silent ear piece and then leave. Segments of their voices are recorded here: Shamebooth Audio. The only piece of that secret they took home was a new pair of strangely oversized white briefs with the big red words “No Shame” on the butt. And yes, I got my granny panties.

    Cheryl Strayed brought the house down with her seasoned message that illuminated the question: how do we do the thing we cannot do? Her personal stories contained humility, resilience and heart. I’m very familiar with her content because I teach her memoir and essay collection “Dear Sugar” to my nonfiction students at UCLA extension. The crowd was enthralled as Strayed discussed the suffering she endured due to her mother’s illness, the aftermath of her grief, and the hopefulness she offered as a reprieve to that grief. She answered questions that were not really questions for a long time. At some point while listening to her, I realized that — whether we were addicts or not — the room vibrated with undeniable hopefulness and willingness to carry that which we thought we could not carry; but in the end we find that we can, we have — and we will.

    I could say a hundred things about every incredible woman I encountered over the weekend from Friday evening until Sunday afternoon and it would not hold a candle to the inspiration I felt. I only wished there had been some scheduled time for us to all connect and mingle in one place away from the speaker/workshop/formal dinner format. The schedule was jam-packed and felt a bit rushed. The highlight for me was Saturday night: The Gala Dinner.

    I never know what to wear to formal events, so I brought a couple of options. I decided that nothing says Formal Gala like clear stripper heels with red rhinestone hearts in the middle and shiny black Bad Sandy (from Grease) pants. A petite brunette with tattoos on her arms was looking around. She looked as lost and overwhelmed and alone as I felt so I asked her if she wanted to find a place to sit with me.

    The dinner honored celebrated change-makers and wave-makers who dared to break the silence of addiction and alcoholism like Betty Ford and the woman who started a movement to disrupt sexual violence, Me Too activist Tarana Burke, but the speaker who got a standing ovation (which seemed to befuddle her) was My Fair Junkie author and comic Amy Dresner.

    The opulent ballroom fell silent as Dresner walked up to the podium wearing a vintage Indian jumpsuit with billowing legs. She did a funny dance and squatted.

    “I was attempting 70’s super model but I’m way more Genie, don’t you think?”

    After explaining how neuroscience proves we can burn new pathways of stability in our minds by taking consistent, disciplined action, she said, “If you’re waiting to take the action, you’ll be waiting forever.”

    Dresner’s journey of addiction to recovery was a beacon of inspiration and the best part of the weekend. Her talk embodied all that She Recovers hoped to convey because her story contained universal, gritty humor and you can’t package that. Her message was the very thing I craved the whole weekend. She told us the worst thing that ever happened to her was definitely the best thing that ever happened to her, but she could only see that after experiencing jail and street sweeping. The room erupted in laughter.

    Dresner ended by telling us that after getting three years sober for like the 14th time, she asked her dad, “Are you ashamed of me? When you talk to your friends do you feel ashamed?”

    “My friends wish their kid was as unbreakable as you,” he said.

    Then, looking out at the 500 wet faces, she told us: “Remember, that’s what all of you are: unbreakable.”

    And dropped the mic.

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • Apple Donates Smartwatches To Bulimia Initiative

    Apple Donates Smartwatches To Bulimia Initiative

    Participants will use the Apple Watch to monitor heart rates over a month-long period.

    Apple has pledged to donate 1,000 smartwatches to a study about bulimia nervosa patients.

    The purpose of the University of North Carolina study—called the Binge Eating Genetics Initiative (BEGIN)—is to better understand the genetic factors associated with binge-eating disorder and bulimia nervosa.

    Participants will use the Apple Watch to monitor heart rates over a month-long period. The smartwatches, which can provide detailed heart data and share data with researchers, will be able to detect any “spikes” in heart activity before a person binges. According to Engadget, if this is the case, “it might be possible to alert caregivers and patients before these acts take place.”

    With every new model, the Apple Watch offers better heart-monitoring technology. The latest iteration, “Series 4,” includes an electrical heart sensor that will eventually work with an app that takes EKGs, according to the New York Times.

    Bulimia nervosa is defined as a serious, potentially life-threatening eating disorder where people “binge and purge.” This refers to the act of consuming large amounts of food, then attempting to purge it from the body to prevent weight gain, by vomiting or abusing laxatives, weight-loss supplements, diuretics and enemas.

    Complications from bulimia nervosa include dehydration (which can lead to more serious complications such as kidney failure), heart problems (such as irregular heartbeat or heart failure), severe tooth decay or gum disease, absent or irregular periods in females, digestive problems, anxiety, depression, personality disorders, self-injury and suicidal thoughts.

    Participants in BEGIN will also spend 10 minutes per day recording their diets, goals and moods. Researchers will search for common genetic traits among participants using at-home gene and micro biome sample kits.

    As smartwatches offer more health-monitoring tools, some people are taking a less conventional—and arguably misguided—approach at applying technology to harm reduction.

    In July, CNBC reported that some adults are using the health-tracking technology of smartwatches and Fitbits to stay “safe” while using drugs.

    “If someone says, ‘Let’s do a line,’ I’ll look at my watch. If I see I’m at 150 or 160, I’ll say, ‘I’m good.’ That’s totally fine. Nobody gives you a hard time,” said “Owen,” a man from San Francisco who says his Fitbit keeps him from overdoing it at parties, nightclubs and even Burning Man.

    “I don’t really know what’s happening in my body when I smoke some weed or do some cocaine. I can read information online, but that’s not specific to me. Watching your heart rate change on the Fitbit while doing cocaine is super real data that you’re getting about yourself,” he said.

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • Fortnite Addiction Leads Sports Team To Institute Ban

    Fortnite Addiction Leads Sports Team To Institute Ban

    The self-instituted ban was put in place so the team could focus on bonding with teammates.

    The popular video game Fortnite has caused problems in some marriages and in academic settings—and now it’s being banned from some professional sports teams for the same reason. 

    TSN 1040 reports that members of the Vancouver Canucks, a Canadian ice hockey team, have taken matters into their own hands, with a self-instituted ban on the game while on the road.

    Team Captain Bo Horvat told the radio station, “Yeah, that’s definitely a no-go on the road. No more Fortnite. No more bringing video games on the road. It’s strictly team meals, team dinners and hanging out with the guys. So we put an end to that.”

    Horvat also added that there are better options for killing time when traveling, such as bonding with teammates.

    “In my opinion, there’s better ways to spend time on the road, whether it’s hanging with the guys in the room or going to a movie with the guys,” Horvat said. “There’s a lot of cool cities we visit and to be cooped up in your room all night, playing Fortnite, is a waste of your time.”

    Personally, Horvat says he has never played the game.

    “Hopefully a lot of parents and little kids are listening right now,” he told the radio station. “I don’t play it. Nor will I ever.” 

    According to TechDirt, the Fortnite issue first arose for the Canucks last year when the team claimed a young player was “inactive and seeking counseling for video game addiction.”

    This isn’t the first time Fortnite play has disrupted professional sports teams. According to Fortune, players from the Ontario Hockey League were asked to remove Fortnite references from their social media accounts. 

    Reporter Renaud Lavoie says that executives in the sports world have spoken out about the issue. 

    “That GM told me it’s an issue,” Lavoie told Sportsnet 590. “Before, the athletes were going to bars. Now, they’re staying in hotel rooms or at home and playing video games for hours.”

    Major League Baseball has also claimed to have issues with the game, including one case of carpal tunnel syndrome. 

    Outside of sports, the game is causing issues in some families. In the UK, the game has been cited as a reason for divorce in 200 divorce petitions filed in the UK from January to September 2018.

    A nine-year-old British girl was admitted to treatment after her Fortnite addiction kept her up all night and affected her grades and health. The girl’s parents say the tipping point came when her father found her sitting in her own urine while playing the game. 

    “She was so hooked to the game, she wouldn’t even go to the toilet,” the girl’s mother told the Daily Mirror. 

    View the original article at thefix.com