Tag: humor

  • The 12 Steps of Christmas

    The 12 Steps of Christmas

    “Rarely have we seen a person fail–” Not exactly. Join us as we ring in the season, 12-step style.

    How it Works – Yuletide Edition

    1. Admitted we were powerless over the string of Christmas lights with three dead bulbs, mom’s green bean casserole and Aunt Barb’s warbling operatic rendition of O Holy Night.
    2. Came to believe that a power greater than us would deliver a brand new Toyota Tundra into the driveway in the morning.
    3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to Amazon Prime next day delivery because we forgot that Uncle Dan was flying in on the Red Eye with his 5 kids.
    4. Made a searching and fearless inventory of our childhood bedrooms looking for proof that the 80’s really did happen even though we can’t remember.
    5. Admitted to anyone within earshot that we baked weed into the brownies we brought for Christmas dinner two years before.
    6. Were entirely ready to remove all the defects of character in every person seated at the table; by force if necessary.
    7. Humbly asked dad to remove the shortcomings in our bank account with a big fat Christmas check.
    8. Made a list of all the relatives who were going to ask “why aren’t you drinking?” and became willing to tell them to fuck off.
    9. Made direct deposits into the accounts of every family member from whom we had stolen money in the past; except when to do so would leave us short on rent.
    10. Continued to take inventory and when we found our hidden stash of coke from 12 years ago, promptly flushed it down the toilet.
    11. Sought through chocolate and the Hallmark Channel to improve our overall Christmas spirit as we understand it.
    12. Having survived the family Christmas still sober, we rushed home to our cats and our Darjeeling tea before remembering the world’s favorite drinking holiday is just seven days away.

    Happy holidays!

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • The Evolution of Dopey: How a Podcast Is Showing Us How to Live and Laugh While Sober

    The Evolution of Dopey: How a Podcast Is Showing Us How to Live and Laugh While Sober

    We wanted to do something that gave addicts a feeling that they weren’t alone, that they were in the company of people who had been through what they had been through, and also have a few laughs.

    Dopey podcast has been around since early 2016, and it has a steadily growing audience of people from all across the spectrum of addiction. In addition to appealing to people in recovery, it draws in people who need help, and those who have family members suffering from addiction.

    As Dr. Drew told The Fix last year, “If you’re an addict and you listen to Dopey, you will find your people and your story here. Listen to it, and you’ll see what I mean.”

    Dopey attracts fascinating guests: recent episodes have featured Artie Lange, Dr. Drew, Marc Maron, Jamie Lee Curtis, gossip columnist AJ Benza, Justin Kreutzmann from the Grateful Dead, Amy Dresner, and others discussing a wide variety of topics such as Game of Thrones, seizures, booze, pills, cocaine, heroin, and more.

    These days, it seems that practically everybody has a podcast. But when Dave and Chris created Dopey, they didn’t have a master plan to be the dominant podcast on addiction and recovery. Initially they were big fans of the Howard Stern Show and wanted to create something similar, but with two people who had experienced addiction and recovery at the helm.

    Dave met Chris at Connecticut’s Mountainside Treatment Center in 2011. They kept in touch after getting out, eventually launching the podcast. At Dopey’s inception, Chris had a year and a half of sobriety under his belt, and Dave had three months.

    Dave and Chris didn’t know where Dopey belonged in the podcast landscape because as Dave explains, “I didn’t even know what a podcast was back then. A friend of mine told me I should do a podcast. I didn’t know anything about them, I just knew I liked radio, I loved the Howard Stern show, and I thought this was an opportunity to do a show like it. I still barely know anything about podcasts!”

    People who have struggled with addiction often have hilarious, insane, and unbelievable stories of the misadventures they get into when they’re high, and Dave and Chris wanted to share those stories on their podcast.

    “Originally the show wasn’t going to be about recovery at all,” Dave explains. “At first I thought it would be funny to do a podcast about the dumbest stuff that we had done in our addiction. That was the idea, and we stuck with that until we recorded an episode where we talked about some of the dumb things we had done, and I realized that we had to say we were in recovery, otherwise we’d be championing drug use. It was never supposed to be a recovery podcast; it became one and the recovery had to be part of the show to keep our conscience clear.”

    Dave adds that with the Dopey podcast, “We wanted to do something that gave addicts a feeling that they weren’t alone, that they were in the company of people who had been through what they had been through, and also have a few laughs. That was the idea…The show was mostly about the ridiculous stuff we had done, all the money it cost us, the life it cost us, and it was our pain and ridiculous decisions that were helping other people from making (the same) decisions.”

    It turns out that humor was a powerful draw, bringing listeners to the show. “Chris had a great phrase for that called the ‘rope-a-dope,’ where you’d rope-a-dope people into recovery through the debauchery. We wound up helping people as a byproduct of the show.”

    Dave is happy that Dopey is giving the world a realistic portrait of people suffering from addiction. “When you watch TV and see addiction commercials, it doesn’t really portray it in a real way. I’m very proud that Dopey did that. If you listen to the show, you hear about real people, and you really get to know what addicts are like. And when I say that, [I mean] they’re like everybody, they’re just unfortunately dependent on drugs and make terrible decisions. I do feel very, very good in playing a part in de-stigmatizing addiction and showing the world what addicts are really like.”

    You don’t usually hear about humor as a treatment for addiction, but Dave realized it was an important tool in his recovery arsenal.

    “For me, humor is just a tremendous part of my life, and I like to see the dark, funny side of things. I don’t think a sense of humor is required to get sober, but I think it’s an amazingly helpful tool if humor makes you feel good. There’s a lot of weirdos out there who don’t have a sense of humor. They can still get sober, but I think if you have a sense of humor, it’s a great tool in recovery. Chris and I discovered that to take away the stigma, there’s nothing better than to laugh at yourself. If you can laugh at yourself, chances are you can get better.”

    The Dopey audience grew larger in response to a recent episode of This American Life that featured the podcast in-depth. But as this new and larger group of listeners began to tune in, Dopey suffered a tremendous blow. Chris relapsed and died on July 24, 2018 at the age of 33. (Chris had nearly five years of sobriety and was working on becoming a clinical psychologist at the time of his death.) Then Dave took another hit when he lost Todd, a close friend.

    “I think the show really started to change when Todd died,” Dave says. “Todd was somebody I had known since I was 19, and I used more drugs with him than anyone else. He died six or seven weeks before Chris died, and it was in those six or seven weeks that I started to change the way I wanted the show to be. I just couldn’t laugh with a clear conscience in the same way because my friend had just died.”

    The show revolved around Chris’ death “for a good five or six weeks. It was a very sober, very sad, freaked-out time to try and get some sort of vibe back. In a way, it was like, the show must go on. We had an audience, and we had an audience of people who benefitted from the show. I did not want the show to fall apart because Chris had died.”

    Dave didn’t realize it at the time, but by pushing forward with the show after the deaths of Chris and Todd, he unintentionally showed his audience how to keep moving forward after a tragedy without using drugs or drinking.

    “When Chris died, I was torn apart. I’m still incredibly upset about it. [But] I think in the end, his death carried a message of recovery. It didn’t occur to me at the time, but I heard a lot of feedback over this, and continuing the show after Chris died made people understand that they can stay sober through adversity, heartache and loss.”

    When Chris was alive, he and Dave often talked about their ambitions for the show, and Dave still feels Dopey could be “a monster. I still think it can be bigger because there are so many people that are affected by addiction. That’s just one piece of it. The other piece of it is stories around drug addiction are so entertaining, and if you put those two things together, the audience could just be gigantic.”

    As Dopey continues to grow, reaching an ever-widening and changing listenership, Dave’s hopes for the podcast’s future don’t seem so outlandish:

    “I want it to be the biggest thing in the world, I want it to cross over in a major way where Robert Downey Jr.’s on it, where Eric Clapton’s playing “Layla” on the show, I want it to be as big as it can be.”

    Click for more Dopey.

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • Rosebud Baker: A Stand-Up Career Started by Sobriety

    Rosebud Baker: A Stand-Up Career Started by Sobriety

    “As much as it sucks to be fully sentient through every failure, I think it’s helped me in the long run.”

    You may not have heard of Rosebud Baker, yet, but you will. As a stand-up comic, actress, and writer, she’s been rising through the ranks of the NY comedy scene faster than anyone I’ve ever seen. What is her secret, I wondered. Well, one of them is a decade in sobriety. Recently I was at a big comedy show full of successful comedians, the exact kind of environment where if I hang too long, the thought of drinking or using increases exponentially by the hour and sometimes wins. Marijuana perfumed the streets as I hit my Juul and attempted to shoot the shit with others outside the venue. I looked to my left and saw Bobby (Kelly), and thought phewsober. To my right Rich (Vos) phewsober. And talking to both of them? Rosebud Baker. Not only does she regularly work at every prestigious club in the city—including a hosting gig this August 21st at inarguably the greatest club on earth: the Comedy Cellar—she was chosen as one of 2018’s New Faces in the most coveted and career-changing comedy festival, Montreal’s Just For Laughs.

    On a more personal level, the last time I relapsed on the road I came to in a strange Chicago suburb on a day I had multiple Laugh Factory shows in the evening. I called a friend in a panic, who, being new to sobriety, was not equipped to handle the situation. But she knew someone who could. She gave me Rosebud’s number. Despite her busy schedule, she stopped and took the time to listen to the insane fear ranting of a post-coke and -booze binge stranger. I am forever grateful for that talk, for the compassion I was shown, for how someone can treat you better than you know how to treat yourself. I calmed down enough to nap before my shows, to perform well that night, and to go to a meeting the next morning. It’s what got me to fight another day. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the only thing that matters is getting up one more time than you fall. But that’s my story. Here’s Rosebud’s:

    The Fix: What is the hardest thing about being sober in comedy?

    Rosebud Baker: There’s nothing I can think of. You’re in bars a lot but as long as your focus is on your comedy, on what you came there to do, it’s simple. When it’s a really important audition set and the nerves are killing me sometimes I feel like drinking, but I just don’t – or I haven’t yet. I had six years of sobriety under my belt before I started in comedy and I had been through a lot of shit, so it’s like, I’m not gonna drink over a showcase.

    What’s the best thing about being sober in comedy?
    The clarity you have. There’s an advantage to being honest with yourself in life, and especially in comedy. I remember someone asking me once after they got offstage, “Did I bomb?” …and I was like, “you were THERE, weren’t you?! Don’t make me say it.”

    After a few drinks, it can be hard to decipher the truth of what’s happening. That false confidence can really slow your progress as a comic. People just stay at this embarrassing level of skill for YEARS because in their mind, things are going a lot better than they are. So as much as it sucks to be fully sentient through every failure, I think it’s helped me in the long run.

    How did you deal with the early days?

    With being sober? I put my own well-being first. I still do.

    What do you think it is about comedy that attracts so many addicts?

    The lifestyle of a comic creates the perfect disguise for an alcoholic/addict. They get to go out every night, get hammered, maybe fuck a stranger, and tell themselves “I’m just at work!”

    What advice would you give someone who struggles with chronic relapse and is a comic?

    All I can say is what I did when I got sober: Take a year off. Get a day job you think you’re too good for. Humble yourself in a real way, and focus on getting sober. Put all your energy into spiritual growth. Be willing to accept that everything you think you know about yourself is probably false. Stay away from big announcements and proclamations about the changes you’re making in your life and just make them. Get off social media and buy a diary.

    ***
    It’s inspiring to interview sober comics at the pinnacles of their career, and it’s differently inspiring to interview a sober comic rising at breakneck speed. The humility cultivated in the first year has served Rosebud well, as has her fearless self-examination and tireless work ethic built on a foundation of spiritual well-being. The idea of putting sobriety first has long evaded me because I thought that to do so one must forsake everything else. Stories like Rosebud’s help drive home the truth: on drugs and alcohol, your world quickly shrinks until all you are left with are your chemicals and delusions. On the other side of that? The whole rest of life. What is using anyway but a (usually false) shortcut to the feelings that we seek from spiritual well-being and external accomplishments? May there come a time when every performer puts down the drink ticket and picks up the whole rest of life.

    Check out Rosebud Baker’s new podcast Two Less Lonely Girls, and writing on Elite Daily as well as comedy all over NYC.

    View the original article at thefix.com

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  • Jackie Kashian: From Drunk Driver to Hero of This Story

    Jackie Kashian: From Drunk Driver to Hero of This Story

    I would love to just check out with booze. But whatever I want to check out from will still be there when I sober up – plus whatever drunken stealing, screwing or hitting I did while I was drunk will have to be fixed.

    Last summer, I had a 12-step sponsor who counted performing as a relapse: weed, alcohol, stand-up comedy. Those were the things I needed to stay away from. She promised I was building a foundation for a life “more profound than pussy jokes.” But that’s not a life I want. Without comedy, and before comedy, I never cared about my life enough to even want to stop drinking. This summer, my sponsor is a fellow comedian, but one who started comedy in sobriety. So I’m asking all my favorite sober stand-ups how they do comedy and stay sober. AT THE SAME TIME.

    On Jackie Kashian’s website, there is a page of the advice she was given in 1986 as a new comic. It ends with: “You are a sweet, intelligent, powerful, exuberant comic.” Watching her perform at the Portland Maine Comedy festival a few weeks ago, I couldn’t come up with a more fitting description, other than to add on what she’s gained through the years: powerhouse. And one she rarely mentions: sober. 

    I first came across Jackie when I moved to NYC three years ago and began listening to her second podcast, “The Jackie and Laurie Show.” Jackie and her cohost Laurie Kilmartin had been there, done that, and sold the t-shirts. They are authentic, wise, and most importantly, hilarious. I spent my first year in the city feeling invisible, drinking intermittently (I bombed at an open mic! Time to throw away seven months and GET WASTED!) and waiting for their next episode to come out.

    Her latest album may be called I Am Not the Hero of This Story, but she’s certainly a hero of mine. 

    The Fix: How did you get sober and continue to do comedy?

    Jackie Kashian: I stopped drinking and “got sober” after I got my second DUI. One in Minnesota and one in California. So they both counted as “first DUI’s” because different states and we do not—still to this day and counting—have a national ID card. I couldn’t go on the road for three months which helped me get a solid block of time of me not drinking at comedy clubs in town. I would go do sets, get a Diet Coke and last as long as I could after the show. It wasn’t that long because watching people you like get drunk is not attractive. And not getting drunk was not fun. 

    Note: no one else was psyched when I got drunk… just me. 

    When I first went back on the road I was terrified. I was doing a run of one-nighters in Illinois and ended up featuring the week with this guy (I can’t remember his name but it was a city and a name, like Boston Bill but it was Charleston Chuck). He was a real road dog guy in the fact that he only worked the road. His stand-up was good for the one-nighters and I was worried he was going to be one of those guys that encouraged shots and tried to get laid. Turns out… that guy? He was 15 years offa the booze juice. And he was super supportive. So he didn’t get drunk. He didn’t cheat on his wife after the show and we had a couple brunches that week. It made me realize that it could be done. It was an awesome coincidence that helped a lot. And a friend of mine who’s sober also sent me on the road (it was a three week run) with 21 envelopes, one to be opened each day. Inside was the name of a famous writer, comic or whatever person who was sober. That was inspiring too.

    What is the hardest thing about being sober in showbiz?

    The hardest thing about being sober around comics and showbidness is that I have a constant committee meeting in my head telling me I’d be further along if I partied with so and so. I’m sure if I wanted to sleep around, the meeting minutes would be about how I’d get more work if I slept with more random dudes. It’s not true by the way. When I stopped drinking I was mostly scared of not being funny anymore. It turns out that life is, actually, more absurd stone cold sober. 

    What is the best?

    The best thing about being sober is not being in jail for driving drunk. I’m sober so the things I get from not being drunk all stem from the fact that I drove drunk every night I drank. I never did have one shot and a beer. See how I didn’t just type one beer? I needed to add the shot. And I did stand-up at least four times a week and stand-up is most often in places with booze. So at least four nights a week I was drunk driving. The best results of not doing that… hell… let’s list them after not being arrested. I wake up without a hangover at a reasonable hour (let’s go with 9am because I’m a comic). Even if I screw around much of the day I can still be awake and writing and sending avails and asking for jobs and shows for two hours a day. That bare minimum of a work ethic gets me 40 weeks of work a year. 

    How do/did you deal with hanging around/with other comics?

    I don’t do late hangs and have recently just been organizing brunch hangs with comics. I love hanging with comics and comics love an 11am something. So I invite comics to meet me at a diner around 11am every week and we riff and bust each other and talk shop and eat eggs. It’s the best. 

    Advice for the chronically relapsing comic?

    Comics (and people, but comics a lot) are certain, because they’re so smart, that they can practice, think or work around the problems. I tried to stop drinking for a couple years before it took this time. I used to “practice” turning down drinks. Some woman once said to me a couple things: “Who’s offering you drinks in your mind?” She was right, because I was buying my own drinks. And “No is a complete sentence.” You don’t need to practice it. “No thank you” if you’re feeling polite.

    How do you feel about selling booze (part of the job of a comedy show) as a former heavy drinker?

    I am so interested in what everyone else is drinking. Saw a guy the other night at a comedy show – he had five glasses of wine. How do I know? I don’t remember counting them but hot damn, I was. I’m not a prohibitionist if that’s what you mean. I say, drink as long as you can. You’ll know if it’s screwing up your life. You know. I tell my nieces and nephews “if you treat it with the right amount of wariness you might last longer than me.” Unsaid is, “cuz yer probably a crummy drinker like me and will have to quit eventually.” Ah well.

    Anything else?

    Other than that… it’s a simple idea to not drink. But things that are simple are not easy, right? It’s like you’re banging your head against a door. It’s the right door but that doesn’t mean that your head doesn’t hurt. I don’t know if that analogy works. But maybe you get it. It’s a simple idea… but I have to remind myself all the time that I don’t drink. Because I would dearly love to check the fuck out and booze is really good at making that happen. But whatever I want to check out from will still be there when I sober up – plus whatever drunken stealing, screwing or hitting I did while I was drunk will have to be fixed. So I’ll have double the nonsense to fix. Sober is preferable to fixing double the nonsense. Best not have the drink.

    ***

    I spent some time last spring after my winter relapse (like an old familiar scarf that you’re also allergic to) introducing a joke about alcoholism by saying, “If you’re thinking of buying me a drink after the show, don’t!” But when I read Jackie’s answers to my questions, I realized that scenario was only happening in my mind. Nobody was thinking of buying me a drink after the show. Except for me, trying to put the responsibility on the audience.

    Recovery is not about running from all you love so you can hide away in a safe space with no triggers. That former sponsor who told me to stay away from comedy was a would-be photographer with almost ten years clean – and still not feeling ready to pursue that dream. Recovery is about taking away the thing that is slowing you down – the active addiction- so that all is left is to run towards what you love.

     

    Jackie is fond of saying: “Tonight I get to do my favorite thing in the world, stand-up comedy.” If you’re still searching for your passion, check out Jackie’s original podcast, Dork Forest. It’s 476 episodes of people talking about their favorite things in the world. 

    View the original article at thefix.com