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Tag: Lil Xan

  • Lil Xan Describes Withdrawals After Quitting Drugs Cold Turkey

    Lil Xan Describes Withdrawals After Quitting Drugs Cold Turkey

    “I wanted to stop drugs completely, but I did it the wrong way.”

    Rapper Lil Xan has never been secretive about his relationship with drugs and his quest to become sober. The “Whipped Cream” rapper recently relapsed after spending time in rehab late last year and he spoke to TMZ about how quitting cold turkey affected his body.

    Lil Xan, born Nicholas Diego Leanos, told TMZ that he stepped out of the public eye after relapsing on hydrocodone and Xanax. Following the relapse, Xan entered the hospital to detox and would go on to suffer several seizures during the strenuous process.

    Withdrawals

    “The withdrawals actually gave me seizures,” the 23-year-old Soundcloud rapper told TMZ. “It was a wake-up call … they said it was from just going cold turkey off of Xanax. I wanted to stop drugs completely, but I did it the wrong way.”

    Lil Xan’s battle with addiction has been a public one, like many of his peers. After seeing his hero Mac Miller and his friend Lil Peep succumb to their addictions at the start of their very promising careers, Xan decided it was time to get help for his addiction.

    Miller’s 2018 overdose death left Xan shaken and unsure if he wanted to continue making music. During an appearance on Adam22’s No Jumper podcast last September, Xan said,  “When your hero dies, f—k that s—t,” he said. “I don’t want to make music no more.”

    During the podcast, Xan also spoke about his desire to get sober.  

    “I want to get sober now, completely sober, but it’s so hard,” he told Adam22. “I just want to be off everything. I want to be like a normal person. If I didn’t have a tour coming up, I would be in rehab right now.”

    Losing Lil Peep

    A year prior to Mac Miller’s overdose, Xan lost a close peer to addiction. Gustav Elijah Åhr, better known as YouTube star and rapper Lil Peep, died in November 2017 from a fatal overdose. Fentanyl, Xanax, marijuana, cocaine and Tramadol were found in the 21-year-old’s system, according to a toxicology report.

    Xan said that Peep was on his mind a lot during his most recent relapse. The rapper entered rehab last December and checked out two weeks later. He has relapsed a couple times but the latest relapse made him withdraw from the public eye while he dealt with his health. 

    “It has to come from within,” Xan said about sobriety last year. “I’ve gone through periods of like, six months. And now it’s because of me. It’s because I want to be clean.”

    Xan says that he’s now “completely sober.”

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • Lil Xan Relapsed, Still Focused On Sobriety

    Lil Xan Relapsed, Still Focused On Sobriety

    “I’ve been feeling like death from withdrawals but I know once I’m sober I’ll feel amazing,” the rapper said in an Instagram post to fans.

    Rapper Lil Xan recently relapsed, but he maintains focused on long-term sobriety, he told followers in an Instagram post. 

    “I love you guys so much, wanted to let you guys know I’m tapering off the last bit of norcos I’ve been addicted to, you can get better I promise, there’s no shame in relapsing it happens to anyone who goes through these issues,” he wrote. “I’ve been feeling like death from withdrawals but I know once I’m sober I’ll feel amazing, I love you guys to death and I’m forever grateful for my fans who have supported me through everything, and I thank my haters for teaching me that negativity on social media doesn’t matter at fucking all haha.”

    The Soundcloud Rapper Went To Rehab Last December

    In December, the rapper announced that he was going to rehab. The month before he had spoken with TMZ about how the deaths of other prominent music celebrities had frightened him and made him face his own addictions. 

    “As far as my sobriety goes right now, there was a long period of time where I was clean,” he said at the time. “But I relapsed. . . . Any other addict would understand that that s—t just happens. You just relapse — you don’t want to — and then you get clean again. It’s like a process. You need treatment and help and sometimes that doesn’t even help. It has to come from within. That’s what I’ve learned.”

    Mac Miller’s Death Changed His Perception On Drug Use

    Lil Xan — whose rap name is short for Xanax — said that fentanyl and Mac Miller’s death had changed how he saw drug use. 

    “I was selling Xanax before I was a rapper, you know, when it was real,” he said last November. “And the minute it got to fentanyl, I was like, ‘I’m not going to sell this.’ My friends were taking it, they were puking. I was like, ‘I can’t… I’m out of the game.’”

    Despite that, the rapper’s drug use and legal troubles seem to have continued. In June, Lil Xan reportedly pulled a gun on a man at a gas station in Los Angeles. The man had approached Lil Xan because the rapper previously called Tupac “boring,” and a “little bitch.” A video of the incident was posted on Instagram. 

    According to Complex, Lil Xan insisted that he pulled the gun in self-defense. 

    “I was about to be attacked and resorted to having to use self-defense,” he said. “Fuck all you old head ass bitches still talking bout that 2Pac shit. Live your own life and stop picking on a kid.”

    However, the LA Police Department is investigating the incident and said that the rapper’s actions could constitute felony assault with a deadly weapon. 

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • Rapper Lil Xan Checks into Rehab

    Rapper Lil Xan Checks into Rehab

    Lil Xan had announced in November that he intended to enter rehab but he had issues finding a bed in a treatment facility.

    Lil Xan has gone to rehab for the first time, according to an Instagram post penned by his girlfriend. Lil Xan, or Diego Leanos, is a 22-year-old rapper from the west coast with a big following. Since the recent overdose deaths of Mac Miller and Lil Peep – both idols of Lil Xan – those around Xan had heightened concerns about his safety.

    Lil Xan recently got tattoos memorializing Mac Miller, and CNN reported that Xan said in an interview that Miller’s death made him want to quit music.

    Lil Xan entered rehab hoping this would be a new start to his life; he declared his rap moniker would be changed from Xan, which is short for Xanax, to his actual name, Diego.

    Diego had announced in November that he intended to enter rehab, but had issues finding a bed in a treatment facility. On December 2, Diego’s girlfriend Annie wrote on his Instagram:

    “This sweet angel of mine officially entered rehab this morning. I’m sorry for all the confusion circulating about Diego leaving for rehab,” Smith wrote alongside a photo of Diego. “It’s a tricky thing since people are coming in and out of the facility so often that rooms end up getting switched around and dates can be pushed back. I’m so beyond proud of this precious boy for being the strongest person I know and for wanting to live a better life. Please keep him in your prayers, he is doing his best right now to find peace with himself. We love you all so much, and we appreciate all of the support. I love him beyond words and cannot wait to see what the future holds for our family. xanarchy family – love, Annie”

    A later Instagram post, also by Annie, read, “Diego was just admitted into his first treatment. He loves each and every one of you sending good wishes and prayers to him,” she captioned a selfie of the musician. “We thank you all so very much for all of the love and support you are sending his way. He will be back soon, with another top 10 album we love you all xanarchy family ! – love, Annie”

    Diego has been public about his ongoing struggle with opioid addiction. In November he told TMZ, “As far as my sobriety goes right now, there was a long period of time where I was clean. But I relapsed. . . . Any other addict would understand that that s—t just happens. You just relapse — you don’t want to — and then you get clean again. It’s like a process. You need treatment and help and sometimes that doesn’t even help. It has to come from within. That’s what I’ve learned.”

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • Lil Xan On Mac Miller's Death, His Own Sobriety: "I'm Not Completely Clean Yet"

    Lil Xan On Mac Miller's Death, His Own Sobriety: "I'm Not Completely Clean Yet"

    “You relapse. You don’t want to. You get clean again. And you relapse. It’s a process. You need treatment, and sometimes, that doesn’t even help.”

    Hip-hop artist Lil Xan spoke candidly about the overdose death of his idol, rapper Mac Miller, and his own struggles with substance use, including a recent relapse.

    In a conversation with TMZ on Nov. 5, Lil Xan (born Diego Leanos) said that while he wasn’t surprised that fentanyl played a role in his fellow artist’s demise, he remains devastated by the news.

    “It’s always fentanyl,” Leanos told TMZ in regard to Miller’s death on Sept. 7, 2018. He said that the synthetic opioid was among the primary reasons that he stopped dealing pills prior to his music career.

    “I was selling Xanax before I was a rapper, you know, when it was real,” he said. “And the minute it got to fentanyl, I was like, ‘I’m not going to sell this.’ My friends were taking it, they were puking. I was like, ‘I can’t… I’m out of the game.’”

    In regard to Miller’s death, Leanos told TMZ, “There’s been so many people [who died from fentanyl overdose], but in particular, Mac hurt the most, because it definitely changed my everything.”

    Leanos had been left so devastated by Miller’s death that in September, he considered retiring from music after fulfilling his recording contract. “When your hero dies, f—k that s—t,” he declared during a podcast interview. “I don’t want to make music no more.” 

    Most recently, Leanos has been recording a tribute album to Miller called Be Safe, which is reportedly due in December. He canceled a quintet of live appearances to focus his energy on completing the project, but added that he was also working on his sobriety.

    “I’m not completely clean yet,” he told TMZ. “I’m off Xanax, but narcos I’m still trying to wean off. ” 

    Leanos said that following his recent relapse, he sequestered himself in a forest and “detached from the world” to regain his sobriety. In regard to the relapse, he said, “Any addict would understand that s—t happens. You relapse. You don’t want to. You get clean again. And you relapse. It’s a process. You need treatment, and sometimes, that doesn’t even help.”

    Change, said Leanos, can only come when the individual wants it. “It has to come from within,” he said. “I’ve gone through periods of like, six months. And now it’s because of me. It’s because I want to be clean.”

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • Lil Xan Says Mac Miller's Overdose Death Made Him Want To Quit Music

    Lil Xan Says Mac Miller's Overdose Death Made Him Want To Quit Music

    The 22-year-old rapper discussed how Miller’s death has impacted him during a recent podcast interview. 

    The death of hip-hop artist Mac Miller (born Malcolm James McCormick) has left many of his fans devastated, including fellow rapper Lil Xan, who has claimed that he will retire in the wake of his peer’s passing.

    In a recent appearance on a podcast, Leanos states that the news of McCormick’s death left him “crying in [his] apartment” and unwilling to “make music no more” [sic]. McCormick’s death, from what authorities have described as an apparent overdose, also gave Leanos pause to consider his own drug use and mental health issues, which he said he would be addressing in rehab if he did not have upcoming tour dates.

    Speaking live on Adam22’s podcast No Jumper on September 8—one day after McCormick was found dead in his home in Studio City, California—Leanos said that he was overwhelmed by the news. “I’ve been crying in my apartment, ‘Mac didn’t die, Mac didn’t overdose,”” he said. 

    He also recalled the last time he saw McCormick, which happened to be at the rapper’s final performance at the Hotel Café in Los Angeles shortly before his death. “Before I left, he was like, ‘Be safe,’” said Leanos. “People say that, you know: ‘Be safe.’ But he grabbed me, and he pulled me back, and he was like, ‘No, I mean, BE SAFE.’ That almost made me cry. That’s my idol right there. I keep thinking about that—how it resonated in my head, how those were his last words.”

    According to Leanos, the experience of McCormick’s words, followed by the news of his death, left him unwilling to continue his music career. “When your hero dies, f—k that s—t,” he said. “I don’t want to make music no more.” After the completion of his current recording contract, Leanos claimed that he planned to retire, though he did not elaborate on this particular decision.

    McCormick’s death also put Leanos in a reflective mood regarding his own substance use. His use of Xanax—the drug that gave him his stage name—and opiates like Norco have been well-publicized in the past, but in his No Jumper interview, Leanos suggested that he continued to struggle with sobriety.

    “I want to get sober now, completely sober, but it’s so hard,” he told Adam22, whose real name is Adam Grandmaison. “I just want to be off everything. I want to be like a normal person. If I didn’t have a tour coming up, I would be in rehab right now.”

    View the original article at thefix.com