Answer Addiction

Tag: reality TV

  • Jersey Shore: 'The Situation' Congratulates Ronnie on Recovery

    Jersey Shore: 'The Situation' Congratulates Ronnie on Recovery

    Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino congratulated co-star Ronnie on staying with his recovery on Jersey Shore: Family Vacation.

    Jersey Shore became a big hit on MTV, and now that it’s returned as Jersey Shore: Family Vacation, Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino is congratulating Ronnie Ortiz-Magro on his sobriety.

    Sorrentino had to make the call from prison, where he’s currently serving an eight-month sentence for tax evasion. The scene was captured for Family Vacation, when Sorrentino’s wife Lauren shows up at Ronnie’s Vegas home to help celebrate the one-year birthday of his daughter.

    One Day at a Time

    Ronnie’s wife Jen explains that “everything’s good” in her relationship with Ronnie. “Everything is super chill now” that he went to rehab. Jen then told Lauren, “You went through kind of what I’m going through. It’s just good because [Ronnie is] very calm now. It’s completely changed him. And it’s changing me, because I’m not on edge. Everything has just been really good.”

    “Listen, it’s hard on him and it’s hard on you,” Lauren replied, “because it’s a new world. When you first start recovery, you’re like a newborn. Sometimes the relationship has to take a back-burner.”

    Once ‘The Situation’ speaks to Ronnie on the phone, he congratulates him for getting sober. “I heard that you have a sponsor, you’re doing meetings, and you’re working day at a time at the program, so I’m very proud of you. It works if you work it, buddy.”

    “It’s been good so far,” Ronnie replied. “One day at a time.”

    Life After Rehab

    Early this year, Ortiz-Magro revealed that he entered rehab because he was suffering from depression and alcoholism. “I decided to go to treatment because I wanted to be a better person, a better father for my daughter,” he explained. “Eventually, all the bad decisions I was making were going to lead me to places I didn’t want to be. I wanted to be led to the place that I am now – that’s happy, healthy, and the best role model for my daughter.”

    The Situation himself hit his three-year sobriety mark on December 22 last year. Sorrentino had struggled with painkiller addiction, and he went to rehab in 2012 and 2015. “Being sober really taught me how to just be at peace,” he said. “I live my life today at peace…I mean, everything in my life has changed. I really feel awesome today.”

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • Jason Wahler Reflects on Making Amends to Lauren Conrad in Recovery: "It's Freeing"

    Jason Wahler Reflects on Making Amends to Lauren Conrad in Recovery: "It's Freeing"

    Jason Wahler reconciled with his ex-girlfriend and former The Hills co-star Lauren Conrad as part of his recovery.

    Jason Wahler, along with his girlfriend Lauren Conrad, became reality TV stars on Laguna Beach and then The Hills. Wahler also had a major downward spiral from drinking and drugs, but he finally turned himself around and even opened up his own sober living home.

    As Wahler explained on the E! show Just the Sip, he used to be a “sad lost individual” who “got to a really, really dark place.” In fact, he even tried to take his own life. “The depths of my addiction took me to not contemplation, but attempting suicide.” 

    From The Hills to Recovery

    Wahler felt his downfall began about ten years ago when The Hills first hit MTV. “I’m not proud of it, but 10 to 12 years ago I was the drunk, womanizing alcoholic,” he says. “I was very lost. After we shot Laguna Beach going into season one of The Hills is when my addiction took full force. Drugs and alcohol were my solution.”

    Wahler got sober after hitting bottom, and he did the standard 12-step process of making amends to people you hurt in your addiction. He of course reached out to former girlfriend Lauren Conrad, and back in 2011 he confessed, “There’s stuff that happened in the past with my drunken ways that I need to address.”

    Now he says, “Part of the process of recovery and living your life sober is making amends and I made amends to Lauren. It’s freeing. When you can take ownership of your actions and let people know you truly want to make things right and you apologize and you take the actions to fix what you did, it feels good.”

    In the past, Wahler said that Conrad was “a big part of my life,” and that “she’s an incredible person and so supportive of anything I do to stay clean.”

    Wahler added that he’s “definitely transformed. I’m happy to be able to say that. I’m content in my own skin. I can sit here and look you in the eye and I’m comfortable, I’m confident, I’m happy. I have a great group of people around me.”

    Celebrity Rehab

    After starring on The Hills, Wahler did a stint on Celebrity Rehab, and he told The Fix, “I think Dr. Drew kind of nailed it on the head. I don’t necessarily agree with everything he says, but I’ve been to a lot of rehabs and seen a lot of doctors, and he’s definitely up there with the best. He said that being young, and being on the TV and limelight and stuff kind of ignited [my alcohol use disorder]. It’s going to come up at some point if you have it, but this lifestyle kind of set fire to it and made it come up a hundred times faster.”

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • Candy Finnigan Interventionist

    Candy Finnigan Interventionist

    Finnigan has an ability to balance assertiveness with the addict alongside shining a light on how the family’s actions may have contributed to the addiction. At the same time, she is incredibly compassionate, caring and understanding.

    Since the A&E network is airing a special limited season of its popular series Intervention this month, we thought it fitting to recognize a name that’s synonymous with the show: Candy Finnigan. Finnigan is a trailblazer in the interventionist field. Being in recovery herself for over three decades, she came to the profession after her children were grown. She was looking for something new and challenging. Finnigan obtained her certification from UCLA in Alcohol-Drug Counseling (CADC) and Alcohol-Drug Abuse Studies (CADAS) in a time when women weren’t commonly working in the world of addiction. In fact, one of her professors, Dr. Vernon Johnson of The Johnson Model of Intervention, once informed her that women didn’t have a place in this line of work. Finnigan didn’t agree, and eventually became not only one of the most well known and sought after interventionists in the country, but also a celebrated author with the publishing of her book, When Enough is Enough. 

    However, none of this would have been possible if it weren’t for Evelyn Finnigan, the mother of Mike Finnigan, Candy’s husband of over 45 years. Candy recalls in an interview that her mother-in-law once pulled her aside and informed her that she would not let her two grandchildren, Candy and Mike’s children, grow up with alcoholic parents. Mike Finnigan became a popular musician after college, and though they didn’t fall victim to some of the other dangerous temptations that musicians often face, their drinking became more and more of a problem. 

    Candy Finnigan credits her mother-in-law, Evelyn, for giving her a 60-day time limit to get herself sober. And though she admits it wasn’t until day 56 that she finally put a stop to her boozing, to this day she thanks Evelyn, and God, for her sobriety. 

    Candy Finnigan on Intervention 

    When Intervention first aired, it shocked households across the country. The show featured addicts at their very worst and really shined a spotlight on the disease of addiction. If watching individuals passed out on their front lawns while their children are standing there horrified and ashamed didn’t make someone want to avoid going down the same path, then not much would. 

    And while the show’s subject is indeed compelling, the heroes of the show—the interventionists—are what bring viewers back. Candy Finnigan has been involved with the project since its inception. 

    When it comes time for the family members of the episode’s subject to get together to discuss what will take place once the intervention is in motion, Finnigan enters with a calming presence and authoritative demeanor, that somehow manages to simultaneously lift spirits and manage expectations.

    Regardless of the intervention’s outcome, Finnigan breaks down the steps of the process for the family members, and is stern when someone waffles or hints about not sticking to their guns. Finnigan knows what she is doing, and captivates viewers. 

    Different Intervention Approaches

    Most people envision the process in the way it is showcased on the television series but there are different approaches when it comes to staging an intervention. Those who are seeking a career as an interventionist usually undergo training that involves studying the different methods. Whatever the style of intervention, the intended result is always the same—get the person the proper help before it is too late. 

    One of the most well known types of interventions is the aforementioned Johnson Model. This type is the one most often seen on the television show. An addict is invited into a room that is filled with family members and loved ones. One by one they tell the person how their addiction has affected their lives, and ask them if they are willing to get help. Along with this, each person in the room presents the individual with the potential consequences of refusing the help. This model has been shown to be highly effective in getting people into treatment programs. The intention is to convince the person struggling that first of all, they are loved, and secondly, they will not have resources to fall back on if they choose not to accept the gift of treatment. 

    The Johnson Model was at one time considered the most “popular” style of intervention. It relies on confrontation and the notion that the family should help “raise the bottom” for the addict. Its intention is to diffuse any possible threat or fight from the subject of the intervention by inviting him or her to make a choice, and have an open conversation about going to rehab. 

    The Johnson Model was the training that Ms. Finnigan received, and she eventually considered Dr. Johnson her mentor, despite his initial opinions regarding women in the field. Dr. Johnson, an Episcopal priest who was also in recovery, is also known for implementing the “Minnesota Model” and co-founding the Johnson Institute, which has trained thousands of professional interventionists. What is so unique about Dr. Johnson’s approach is the belief in early intervention, and disrupting the progression of the disease before it is too late. 

    Another confrontational approach is the “Love First” method. This is similar to The Johnson Model in that it generally takes place in a neutral zone, like a family member’s home, and there are consequences mentioned if action is not taken to seek help. When the Love First method is applied, those who are holding the intervention must remain calm, no matter the circumstances, and avoid any type of accusatory tones or behaviors. The intention of this style is to bombard the person struggling with love and support, as the family members remain compassionate and positive throughout the process. 

    Other intervention forms, like the ARISE method and CRAFT model, focus on creating a bond between the addict and loved ones. To facilitate this bond, the CRAFT model suggests that the individual battling addiction and the family members both seek help. These styles implement self-care for the entire family and aid in opening up communication and encourage healing for both parties. 

    The above examples rely on some pre-planning prior to the event itself. But there are plenty of times when a person is in crisis and it is clear that something needs to be done and fast. Crisis interventions can be tricky in that they are usually thrown together last minute, often as a last ditch effort. This is also a time when an intervention actually results in having the subject involuntarily committed due to the risk of them harming themselves or others, or in the case of neglect. 

    Finnigan’s Approach

    An interventionist’s goal is to not only get the addict into a treatment program, but also to help their families get back on track and on the road to healing. The role includes helping to prepare for the event, informing and educating the family members of what to do during and after, and staging the actual intervention services. 

    There are agencies that offer over the phone guidance for organizing an intervention, however it is recommended that if possible, a professional be present. 

    As it is often documented on Intervention, in her approach Finnigan usually shows up several days before the intervention takes place and gets the wheels in motion. As a viewer of the television show, Finnigan’s arrival is always an exciting element. One can see and almost feel the relief wash over the family members in her presence. 

    The prep period prior to the intervention is as important as the event itself. Interventionists like Finnigan have extensive knowledge of treatment centers around the country, and this stage is when they present the family with rehabs that will address their loved one’s issues. They then make a selection. 

    The pre-intervention is also the time when Finnigan firmly insists that loved ones establish boundaries and end their enabling behaviors. Family members write a letter to the person who is struggling with addiction, expressing how much they are loved and cherished, and how their addiction has affected them. 

    It is very clear that Finnigan has an ability to balance assertiveness with the addict alongside shining a light on how some of the family’s actions may have contributed to the addiction. 

    At the same time, she is incredibly compassionate, caring and understanding. Finnigan usually mentions that she is also in recovery and realizes how hard this is for everyone involved. This acknowledgment instantly takes the shame and blame out of the equation, and helps everyone get to the root of what needs to be done. 

    The Moment of Truth

    On Intervention, Finnigan waits with family members in a little room until their loved one arrives. Other scenes reveal the addict, who is informed that he or she is heading to their final interview for what they believe is a documentary about addiction. Once the door opens and reveals the interventionist and the family, it suddenly becomes apparent that this is in fact an intervention. 

    This moment has high stakes both in the show and in everyday, non-televised interventions. The surprise element carries the risk of the subject running away, which does happen from time to time, or getting angry and lashing out. The tension is thick.

    This is when the interventionist steps in, diffuses the tension, and starts to calmly direct the room. In Finnigan’s case, she simply explains that all they’re going to do is sit down with their family, and listen to how much they are loved and cared for—that’s it. Incredibly, the addicted person usually obliges, and as the letters are read, emotions are expressed, and tears are shed, the person is given a second chance at life. 

    Assuming the person agrees to get help, a sober companion escorts him or her to the chosen rehab, leaving the family to begin their own healing and introspection. The interventionist provides resources such as referrals to Al-Anon meetings, therapists, and help in addressing codependency issues. An intervention is not just for the addict, but for everyone that loves them. 

    Why Candy Finnigan Makes Such an Impact

    Ms. Finnigan is extremely open and honest with the families and addicts. She is quoted as saying that she cries every time she leads an intervention. She makes it clear that she is not just in the business of recovery for the paycheck, but because she genuinely wants to help save lives. 

    Finnigan and Intervention report a success rate of about 71 percent. But what makes an even bigger impact is the nation’s newfound awareness of the actual issues that addiction presents, and how many people are affected by it. The show spotlighted the reality of addiction for the first time on a large scale, and it got people talking. 

    Addiction was no longer a taboo subject, and it certainly was not going to be swept under the rug any longer. Intervention opened the door for the conversation about the disease of addiction, and also made many feel like getting help, getting clean and sober, was a possibility. 

    Finnigan made it her mission to help those who were suffering from addiction and their families, and continues to do so with grace and humility. Because, as she so eloquently puts it, “It’s not just my work. It’s my life.” 

    Candy Finnigan maintains frequent speaking engagements and appearances all over the country. Learn more about Candy Finnigan and her body of work on her website, www.candyfinnigan.com. Find Candy Finnigan on Facebook, Twitter and YouTube.

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • Heidi Fleiss Talks Sex, Drugs, and Saving Macaws

    Heidi Fleiss Talks Sex, Drugs, and Saving Macaws

    I’ll get high to hide my pain and as an excuse. It’s stupid, just plain stupid. I’ve never known drugs to help anyone. It’s so crazy to hate it so much but to do it still. I don’t understand that insanity.

    The “Hollywood Madam” lives today with scores of noisy exotic birds in the small town of Pahrump, Nevada. Remembering her prison days, she now dedicates herself to freeing macaws from their cages.

    When Fleiss was arrested in 1993 for charges including attempted pandering, her escort service employed 500 beautiful girls-next-door who were like porn stars in the bedroom. They charged clients what today would be almost $3,000 a night, and Fleiss grew rich by keeping 40 percent of those earnings. Partying hard and living in the fast lane led to struggles with addiction.

    Although she never served time for her work in the sex industry, a federal tax evasion case led to 20 months in prison in Dublin, California. While incarcerated, she longed for her freedom; this longing served as the genesis of her efforts with macaw rescue.

    We recently got the inside scoop from Heidi on prison, reality TV, addiction, and her mission to free birds.

    The Fix: Today, your passion is providing freedom to dozens of macaws, beautiful parrot-like exotic birds that you live with on the outskirts of Pahrump, Nevada. You describe how seeing a caged bird reminded you of your experience in prison. Is being of service to these birds who once were forced to live in boxes a reflection of personal redemption?

    Heidi Fleiss: You pretty much got it. After prison, I did see the world differently. I saw a beautiful macaw in a cage, and it really bothered me. I asked the owner when was the last time it was out of its cage. She said, “I don’t know. Maybe 20 or 30 years.” The bird actually had dust on it. I realized I could not go on with my life, knowing that bird was still in that cage. It seemed so awful to have wings and be stuck in a cage, of all things. Imagine 45 years in a basement with another 45 years to go.

    It has never been properly addressed. We are a civilized society. How can we do this? The subjugation of this species is selfish and self-absorbed. It’s a tortuous, bleak existence. It’s so painful for them because their bodies aren’t meant for sedentary lives. They struggle with this lonely, painful existence. Do you really think these animals with wings are on this earth to say bad words and to dance for us? It’s disgusting, and everybody should find it offensive. Are we really that selfish?

    Before prison, I never paid attention to or cared about a bird in a cage. I lived with this one rich boyfriend, and we had lots of birds in cages. I’d walk by them every day, and I looked at them like I looked at pictures on the wall. It didn’t matter. Now that I’m aware, I can’t ignore it. I have to be proactive. I rescue them from parrot prison and give them a life outside of a cage. (In the background, macaws screech loudly.) They need to have some other option beyond living and dying in a cage. Today, I am that option. I did not want to do this with my life. I still do not want to do this, but somebody has to do it.

    In terms of your attempts to maintain your sobriety, you say, “I struggle. I struggle with my addiction. And it’s tough because I’ll be doing so well. And I don’t know what will make me flip.” When you have fallen off the proverbial wagon in the past, what triggered you? What tools do you use today to avoid such triggers?

    I am just coming off of a slip right now. I’m barely off of one. Obviously, there are some personal demons that I can’t confront. Sometimes I cannot accept the mistakes that I’ve made. Dealing with a relapse seems easier than continuing to deal with the pain. I’ll get high to hide my pain and as an excuse. It’s stupid, just plain stupid. I’ve never known drugs to help anyone. It’s so crazy to hate it so much but to do it still. I don’t understand that insanity.

    Was the business a pure money-making venture for you? How many of the women involved in the sex business view it purely as a money-making business, and how many of the women struggle with substance use or behavioral disorders like love addiction and sex addiction? Do you think a madam is to a sex addict what a dealer is to a drug addict?

    Absolutely not. In any professional field, whether it’s the medical industry or the legal industry or education or the sex industry, you’re going to find the same amount of problems: sex addiction, drug addiction, hang-ups from being molested, or this and that. You’re going to find just about the same ratio that I went through in the sex industry with just about any of these other professions. You really will.

    As for the sex addiction question, that’s the man’s point of view. They think the women do it because they love it. They don’t do it because they love it. They do it for money. And they are introduced to a world they would never have experienced otherwise. Who else gets to spend a summer yachting on the French Riviera? The people that worked for me traveled the world, and many had incredible, unique experiences. It’s very hard for people to understand the world that I was in. When you are dealing with the wealthiest people in the world, what happens is rare and beyond expectation. A million dollars is nothing to a billionaire. It’s hard to fathom that kind of life when it’s combined with having a good time.

    You don’t have to have a golden pussy to get a hundred thousand dollars. It has nothing to do with that. Rather, it’s about the circles you travel in, and I was able to access the people with that kind of money. That’s what it’s all about, and it’s really hard to understand the way money works at that level. All that stuff was a long time ago, it was a lot of fun, but it seems silly now to me, particularly in light of what I do today.

    Speaking to Vice, you said that the public humiliation you experienced on Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew was actually therapeutic. Can you help us understand how it was therapeutic to have dirty laundry aired on national television? 

    When I was asked to do that show, I was like no way. I’m not going to be humiliated on television. You have to be a real idiot to do that show. There’s no way on earth. I turned it down, and then they contacted me again. I changed my mind. I don’t know why I decided to do it, but it was probably the five hundred thousand dollars. It turned out to be one of the best experiences of my life, and I wish they would start doing that show again.

    Really?

    Yes.

    Why?

    I think it’s really helpful to people both on and off the show. Yes, you’re watching someone else’s train wreck, but that’s what we always do. I don’t think it’s any more exploitive than anything else. You learn when you watch other people that you’re not alone whatever you’re going through and that there might be a way out.

    Dr. Drew is a genuine person and a great guy. He truly cares, and I found him to be one hundred percent sincere. He’s the real deal. He’s not a fraud or a phony. Ever since I first met him when I was 27 and sent to my first rehab, he’s been a consistently wonderful guy.

    You are famously quoted as saying, “I was too lazy in bed to be a prostitute.” Did this laziness change when crystal meth entered the picture? Was your sexual relationship with Tom Sizemore as charged and powerful as Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew made it out to be?

    I hate crystal meth. It still plagues me. I don’t see it as a sex drug. I think if you connect with someone, you connect with someone. I did crystal meth before and after I was with Tom, and I didn’t have these freakily intense sexual relationships. If you do not want to sleep with someone, drugs certainly do help. They really help.

    Personally, when it comes to sex, I don’t want to see anyone disrobe in front of me again. When it comes to sex, I’m done. I don’t want to have sex ever again. And this is from someone who’s slept with everything and everyone. I slept with a guy who rode on the Queen Mary when it was a ship, and I’ve only known it to be a tourist attraction. I’m not saying that I’m a new virgin or anything, but I don’t even want to have sex ever again. It doesn’t matter to me at all.

    Do you think people can be addicted to sex? What about addicted to love? Do you believe that you have suffered from sex addiction or love addiction?

    I definitely have never had a sex addiction. I’ve had a sex drive, and I’ve had lots of sex, it’s never dominated my life. I’ve felt that I’ve got to get laid or I got to have sex or my life will fall apart. That’s not me. Mind you, I’ve had mornings where I’ve woken up and looked over to find someone in my bed, and I have to ask myself, “Is that a boy or a girl?” Never ever has sex been the driving force in my life. I think the word “addiction” can mean a lot of things. People always talk about moderation, but I don’t believe in any of that. If you want to ruin your life, just do drugs.

    Love addiction can be co-dependency. I know women who do not feel complete unless they have a man in their life. I also know girls who go out at night with one purpose in mind. If they don’t get laid, then no matter what happens, it’s not a good night. It’s only good if they get laid. Father complexes and mother complexes drive those behaviors. They feed off of abandonment issues and get even complex.

    Also, my girls were not sex addicts or love addicts. They were prostitutes, and they were professionals. I went for the best. I wanted the cover of Seventeen magazine. None of them were underage, but I wanted the girls that looked like cheerleaders. I wanted the girls that knew how to fuck like a porn star but looked like the girl next door. (The squawking of the macaws intensifies.)

    You once lived a life that most people cannot even imagine. You told Vice about the parties at your house in the Hollywood Hills, saying, “They didn’t have sex for money at my house, but they would come to hang out. It was social… You’ve got people like Jack Nicholson and Mick Jagger partying at your house… I remember coming home, and Prince was dancing in my living room.” Do you miss those days?

    I remember walking out of my bedroom to see Prince dancing in my living room. I thought it was way cool, and I couldn’t even stick around to enjoy it. I had to go to a Beverly Hills Hotel bungalow to check in so I could manage my business. It was too loud at my house to get anything done. There were a lot of good times, but I also worked hard.

    Do I miss it? (There is a pause as a macaw screeches in the background.) Look, when you’re young and a girl in Los Angeles, it’s hard to do any better than I did. For a long time, I had the best of everything: food, sex, drugs, people, clubs, hotels, and more. I was having a good time, and it seemed like the party never ends.

    As a woman gets older, it’s harder and different. When those things don’t work anymore, it changes you. The only thing I miss about Los Angeles today is there’s a lot of opportunity there. I don’t miss that life even when these birds are driving me crazy. I’ve had a great life and good times, but saving these birds right now is the only thing that matters to me.

    (This interview was edited for length and clarity.)

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • How It Feels to Be the Reality Show Villain: An Interview with Kari Ann Peniche

    How It Feels to Be the Reality Show Villain: An Interview with Kari Ann Peniche

    Those shows continue to haunt me and do me damage in my personal life. I was portrayed as this crazy person, and that portrayal is something I find myself having to fight against on a regular basis.

    Kari Ann Peniche was thrust into more scandals before the age of 30 than most fictional Hollywood starlets. She was crowned Miss Teen USA 2002 before her 17th birthday, then in 2004 the title was taken from her after she appeared nude in a celebrity pictorial for Playboy magazine. Then, from 2009 to 2010, Kari Ann appeared in succession on the reality shows Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew, Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew, and Sober House. Set up as the troubled bad girl by the producers, Kari Ann received little help and lots of negative press. She was also the subject of tabloid celebrity stories covering her volatile engagement to Aaron Carter in 2006, a nasty public quarrel with the late singer Mindy McCready in 2009, and the leak of a controversial nude home video that included married actors Eric “McSteamy” Dane and Rebecca Gayheart in 2009.

    With hard work, Kari Ann moved on from that chapter and today she is happily married with two children. She found her true calling as an interior designer and creative director, and in 2017 she launched DAF House, a “luxury design, fashion and art firm.” 

    The Fix recently had the pleasure of speaking with Kari Ann about her journey. 

    After appearing nude in the November 2004 issue of Playboy magazine, you were stripped of your crown. Why did you decide to appear in Playboy? Since Hugh Hefner was still alive at this point, I imagine you spent time at the Playboy mansion.

    When Playboy was introduced to me, I didn’t really know how I felt about the idea. All I knew was that it was a nude magazine that my Dad had kept hidden in a drawer when I was growing up. I thought it was weird to even consider the idea at first. Then, the agent went on to tell me about all these iconic women who had posed for the magazine in the past: Marilyn Monroe, Madonna, Farrah Fawcett, Sharon Stone, Shannen Doherty, Drew Barrymore, and many more. I thought, “If they posed for the magazine, then I definitely want to pose for the magazine and do a celebrity pictorial because I will be in such good company.”

    So, I agreed to do it, and I did spend time at the mansion. I lived there for a couple of months, and Hef was always very nice. He taught me how to play backgammon, and he let me stay in the guest house. I don’t think it was too much for me, but it definitely opened my eyes to a world that I hadn’t been exposed to before.

    In an interview with Steppin’ Out magazine, you revealed that you had been raped twice before you turned 18, first by a neighbor when you were 13 and later by a U.S. military officer when you were modeling in South Korea. You also had a series of abusive boyfriends that took advantage of you and introduced you to hard drugs. How difficult was it to be in the national spotlight while dealing with such extreme trauma?

    I know now that being busy with modeling and Playboy and all the attention that I was getting at that time really helped to distract me from that trauma. At the same time, I never really dealt with what happened. I just pushed everything aside because I was too busy to stop and really think about it. I would tell myself that I was fine, I’m not a victim, and those things aren’t about me. The ones that did those things to me, they’re the ones that need help and they’re the sick ones. They should deal with it, and I don’t need to deal with it because I’m just fine. That was my attitude about all that back then.

    When I did the Steppin’ Out interview, I was starting to kind of crumble, and I was reaching out for help. Everything had slowed down, and suddenly I had a lot of time to myself. Finally, being with myself allowed me to reflect on what had happened. I realize now that I shared stuff that they didn’t even really ask me questions about. The interview really captured where I was emotionally and mentally. I was breaking down, and it felt like everything was falling apart. It happened to be the same time that I got the calls to do the reality shows. I knew I needed something so I thought it made sense: I would help my career and help myself at the same time, but that’s not what ended up happening.

    You went on Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew because your manager thought it was a good idea. Today, you say that you were never a sex addict. Instead, would you describe yourself back then as a love addict or a relationship addict?

    I like to say that I had more of a shopping problem, I mean, I didn’t even know what sex addiction was and I didn’t know why I was going on that show. I was the first person cast for that show, and I had only been intimate with a handful of people. Never had I ever had a one-night stand or hooked up with people I didn’t know. I was never promiscuous in that way, but I knew how to play that part in a weird sense.

    I do know that I used sex as a kind of protection. I would use sex as a way to ward off guys that I thought were trying to make moves on me. I thought that being graphic or explicit would intimidate my guy friends and keep them in line. I always had people over at my apartments and my houses. I would buy sex toys and bondage stuff that I would have in my bedroom and on my bed, but I had never even used these things before. It was all like some kind of strange decoration, and it was my way of protecting myself. I don’t know if that makes sense, and I know it sounds kind of confusing, but it actually worked really well. Rather than use sex toys and bondage equipment, I really just shopped for them and displayed them, and that’s why I like to refer to it as more of a shopping problem. My goal was to make guys think, “I’m not even going to try to hit on her because I am inadequate. I won’t be able to keep up with a girl like her.” In truth, it was all one big illusion. I had been through so many bad things in the past, and I needed to have a way to protect myself.

    When you were on Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew and Sober House, it seemed like the producers cast you as “the villainess.” Did you feel unfairly portrayed on these shows?

    When I did those shows, I had really bad management, and I was coached to be a certain way by the producers. I was told that VH1 was looking for a new starlet to come out of these reality shows, and the cast was going to include Tom Sizemore and Dennis Rodman. We had big names on the show, so I thought it made sense to be a part of that group; I thought it would help my career.

    I do feel unfairly portrayed because the producers did a lot of things to provoke negative behaviors. I could have behaved differently, but so much of what happened wasn’t shown. You saw the reactions but never the provocations. We’re being filmed 24 hours a day for 21 days, and all that’s aired is 47 minutes once a week for ten weeks. Obviously, a lot of the story is edited out. They never showed the full story of what led to my outbursts on the show.

    I also felt like they were digging things up and putting words into my mouth that weren’t true about my drug use and past trauma. At first, I would just say whatever they wanted me to say. I didn’t really know the answers to the questions they were asking.

    As time passed, I knew I wasn’t being true to myself. It really started to bother me, and I started regretting a lot of the things we had filmed earlier. I didn’t want to be there anymore, and I knew that doing the show wasn’t right for me. At the same time, I also knew that I needed some kind of intervention because I was going down a bad path in my life. I really wanted to be helped, and it was a struggle to try to get something positive out of the experience when I also felt manipulated and not properly cared for.

    At the end of the day, we were just a cast, and our pain didn’t matter. All that mattered was them getting the material that they wanted. They were creating characters, and I hated the character that they created for me. Rather than help me get well, it felt like it was designed to do just the opposite.

    If you could sit down and talk to the producers of those reality shows today, what would you say? Should behavioral addictions like love addiction, relationship addiction, and sex addiction be used as fuel for the engine of the entertainment machine?

    I would first thank them for the experience because I did learn a lot. However, I don’t think they were fair or considerate. Rather than manipulate those experiences, they should have let things unfold naturally. If they had done it naturally, I believe they would have had great content anyways. There already are enough things that unfold in rehab anyhow. I don’t understand why their focus wasn’t helping the patients as opposed to doing things to provoke the drama.

    The producers and people on the show used our addictions and our traumas in these therapy sessions as entertainment, but they didn’t provide any follow-up care. It was a bad idea, and it caused a lot of hurt for my family and for me because they opened wounds without trying to heal them. It was like pulling off psychic scabs, and they would be blaming my mom or my dad for what had happened to me when I wasn’t even blaming them. I have never blamed them for anything. I was an adult, and I made those choices on my own. I knew better, and I knew I shouldn’t have put myself in those situations or done those things. Rather than help, they made me more confused.

    After those shows, I left each one of them feeling worse than I had before I went on them. They had ripped off those scabs, and I left filming with all these open wounds and no one to help heal them. Even today, those shows continue to haunt me and do me damage in my personal life. I was portrayed as this crazy person, and that portrayal is something I find myself having to fight against on a regular basis.

    I don’t think those settings should be televised. Everyone comes off poorly, and it’s not a good message. It does more harm than good.

    On the DAF House team page, you are quoted as saying, “Change is possible no matter who you are, what you’ve done or where you’ve been. It starts with creativity.” How did your creativity help you overcome the trauma you experienced as a girl and young woman? When did you realize that it was time to change and how did you change?

    I believe we are all artists in our own way, and we are all here to create, whether we are creating art or music, writing or designing, building or financing, marketing or selling. It all depends on our identity, but everything can be done creatively. For me, the quote on the DAF House website refers to that chapter in my life. There has been so much said about me that’s honestly not true, and I had spent four or five years honestly embarrassed about who I was or even who I am. I was afraid of anyone Googling me and finding out about what had happened because the reality had been so twisted. I was scared about what was going to happen.

    I recently went through a tough time in my marriage where my husband and I spent almost two years divorcing. It was really ugly and crazy in retrospect because we never got divorced, and we are still together. During that time, everything from my past before I was even married and before I was ever a mom was being brought up in court. I was being portrayed as a bad mother because I was an addict, and I had been on those celebrity rehab shows. It was all in the past and completely irrelevant to my being a mother or being married at that point in time. It was so in the past, but still, the judge ordered me to do random drug testing where they go in the bathroom with you and watch you pee three times a week. It was awful, and during that period, I did over 80 drug tests in a six-month period, and every one of them came back negative.

    Look, I was happy to do those drug tests because I knew I had nothing to hide, but never did any of that get publicized. Only the negative headlines are focused on by the eyes of the world. My husband’s lawyer brought forth a torrent of allegations against me, all this bad stuff that had happened long before we were married and all this bad stuff that was untrue. What was so disturbing is that the false picture that lawyer tried to paint of me kept coming out in the press and being published as truth. I cannot tell you how hard it was to go through something so awful.

    My husband and I did manage to reconcile, and we have done our best to repair our marriage. He was going through his own crisis mentally at the time, and the divorce had little to do with me and our relationship. However, given my celebrity and the scandals in my past, I became the punching bag of that process. He was influenced by a lot of outside people, and he let those people dominate his perspective. For a long time, all I could do was love him from far away and do my best to let him know that I wasn’t playing games. I wouldn’t say anything mean about him because I knew it was all going to be public record. I didn’t say anything about him being a bad father because it wasn’t true. He’s always been a good father, and I would never say such things about the man I love.

    We have been married for nine years, and we have put that behind us. For me, that quote is about focusing on the present and the future, leaving the past behind. I am trying to create a new picture of who I am for the public so I can be seen for who I really am.

    This interview was edited for length and clarity.

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • Real Housewife Luann de Lesseps Takes Sobriety "Day by Day"

    Real Housewife Luann de Lesseps Takes Sobriety "Day by Day"

    The ‘Real Housewives of New York’ star says her co-stars support her on her sober journey.

    Countess Luann de Lesseps, who stars on the Real Housewives of New York, told Life & Style that she’s received immense support from her co-stars in her sober journey.

    “You know what, I take it day by day,” de Lesseps said. “I take my sobriety seriously, and day by day, and I just am learning to enjoy myself without drinking. So it’s eye-opening and it’s not easy. It’s always a struggle, but I feel a lot better.”

    The reality star may have realized she had a problem with alcohol when she was charged with several crimes following a Christmas Eve arrest, including battery of an officer, disorderly intoxication, resisting arrest with violence, and crimes against a person, and two corruption by threat charges for telling officers, “I am going to kill you all.”

    Her hefty list of charges could have landed her five years in prison, according to TMZ. She even rejected a plea deal offered by prosecutors, instead arguing that she was emotionally distraught because of the geographic location.

    “This was my first time in Palm Beach since my wedding, and being here brought up long-buried emotions,” she explained. “I want to offer my sincere apologies to anyone I might have offended with my behavior. I am committed to a transformative and hopeful 2018.”

    Following the incident, she committed herself to rehab and recovery.

    “After the events of last Saturday night in Palm Beach, I am truly embarrassed. I have decided to seek professional guidance and will be voluntarily checking into an alcohol treatment center,” she said. “I intend to turn this unfortunate incident into a positive life changing event. Once again, I sincerely apologize for my actions. I have the greatest respect for police officers and the job they do.”

    Now, de Lesseps is better and back in the spotlight in a cabaret show.

    “Nine months ago, I was in jail, and now I’m a cabaret star,” she said in the season 11 trailer. “Isn’t that crazy?”

    Given that the cast of the Real Housewives is provided alcohol to drive the drama, de Lesseps may find herself relying on her co-stars to stay clean… and her recovery may become a driving narrative of the show.

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • "Dopesick Nation" Shows Reality of Treatment Professionals Who Struggle with Addiction

    "Dopesick Nation" Shows Reality of Treatment Professionals Who Struggle with Addiction

    Dopesick Nation explores addiction treatment and the thin line between interventionist and client, recovery and relapse.

    Note: This piece contains spoilers for Dopesick Nation

    As a former social worker in recovery from addiction, I was initially skeptical of the VICELAND Series Dopesick Nation because I thought it would follow the familiar formula of A&E’s Intervention and TLC’s Addicted. I was wrong. Dopesick Nation is different from these other shows for many reasons, but it’s especially good at illuminating the unique difficulties of being a recovering addict while also working with and helping other people struggling with addiction. Dopesick Nation explores the thin line between interventionist and client, recovery and relapse. This is a common struggle, as 37 to 57% of professionals in the addiction field are in recovery themselves. Due to stigma, there is sparse data on how often people working in this field relapse, but I found a preliminary study that found 14.7% of addiction treatment professionals relapse over their career lifespan. I can relate: I’ve relapsed twice while working in the field.

    Let me start by saying that I commend all people working in addiction and recovery treatment. While I have mixed feelings about Intervention and Addicted, I have deep respect for the interventionists who have made it their mission to help people with addiction while also navigating the daily struggles of their own recovery. The traditional interventionists of Addicted and Intervention appear so stable; each of their stories follow a typical trajectory from drug addict to helper. On the opening montage of Addicted, interventionist Kristina Wandzilak says: “By the time I was 15, I was addicted to drugs and alcohol. I robbed homes, I sold my body, I dug in dumpsters to pay for my habit. Today I am an interventionist…”

    Yes, Wandzilak and the other interventionists’ stories are all inspiring to people like me in recovery, but the reality is that many of us relate more to Dopesick Nation’s leads, Allie and Frankie. Both are candid about the difficulty of working in the field and later Frankie is open about his relapse. But we’ll come back to that.

    Addiction Treatment on TV: Intervention, Addicted, and Dopesick Nation

    One of the first stark differences between these shows is the more relatable, down-to-earth way that Allie and Frankie approach their clients. From my experience as a social worker with eight years of experience in the field, I know that the first step is building rapport and earning the trust of vulnerable people who are skeptical of helping professionals. Allie wears yoga pants and hoop earrings, Frankie is covered in tattoos and wears a backwards black hat and a t-shirt with the logo of his nonprofit, “FUCK HEROIN FOUNDATION.”

    This may seem surface level, but first impressions matter. Trust should be earned, not expected. I had a client who refused to open the door to staff for weeks, in part because she felt social workers were elitist and unrelatable. When she finally let me in, she said, “You’re not one of those preppy ass bitches.” My boss joked that all the staff should get tattoos, a lip ring, and blue hair like me even though technically it was against dress code policy.

    In Addicted and Intervention, the interventions are staged in the carefully controlled environments of beige hotel conference rooms. Wearing business casual clothes, neatly ironed polos and chinos, the interventionists sit on comfy chairs in a U-shaped circle, then conduct a carefully orchestrated, seemingly scripted intervention.

    In Dopesick Nation, Allie and Frankie meet their clients where they are, which is a foundation for building a helping relationship. The show takes place in sunny, touristy Florida, where glimmering sandy beaches are dotted with tourists in Hawaiian shirts playing shuffleboard next to the swirling tides of the turquoise ocean. But Allie and Frankie don’t meet on the beach. Instead, they talk to clients on park benches, and curbsides in bad neighborhoods, braving torrential downpours and scorching heat. This method of “meeting people where they are at” is supported by years of social science research and was a cornerstone of my work as part of an outreach team to help people with severe mental illness and addiction. We left our office bubble, braving blizzards and arctic cold, because we knew clients were more likely to go to detox or another facility after a course of meetings in their homes.

    Fast forward to Frankie admitting he’s relapsed and is taking Suboxone, a medication to deal with opioid cravings. Wringing his hands, itching his sweat-glazed skin, Frankie tells his sponsor Gary: “90 to 95% of my day helping other people find their recovery. Sometimes I’m not taking care of my own recovery. And how am I gonna help other people get something that I don’t have? A lot of people rely on me, that pressure weighs on me.”

    Gary encourages Frankie to go to detox. “When you’re working in treatment, you’re around sickness all day long and you’re absorbing it… You need to work a righteous program.”

    Treatment Professionals Who Relapse

    I want to tell Gary that even though Suboxone is sometimes shunned by the recovery community, many studies support its efficacy. Suboxone is a valid form of recovery. I want to reach across the screen, hug Frankie and tell him he deserves the same care and compassion that he gives to clients, that it’s okay to take a break from the field to take care of himself. I want to tell him that I admire him even more because he let his guard down and was honest. I want to tell him that more of us relapse than he may realize and assure him that he is not a hypocrite for relapsing and taking Suboxone. I want to tell him my story.

    Three years ago, I was working at a day center with people who had struggled with homelessness and addiction. I remember one day when a client who was an IV heroin and meth user told me about his struggles to get clean. My years of experience taught me the art of self-disclosure, specifically if and when it was appropriate to disclose to clients that I too was in recovery. Since I’d known him seven months and even been trusted to store his dead cat’s ashes (a story for another day), I told him about my addiction as though it was in the past tense, although it was very much in the present tense. Steeped in denial, I told myself that my nighttime and weekend benders wouldn’t bleed into daytime. Looking back, I feel ashamed, but I know that denial is also a powerful drug. For a while, I thought I juggled my work life and secret life well. I thrived at my job, until, surprise— the benders bled into my work days.

    One day this client told me he was worried about me. He’d noticed my weight loss, blue circles under my darkened eyes, and change in personality. That’s when I knew I needed help. It was time to take a break from being a social worker. I went to detox for five days, then resigned and decided to move home. Like Frankie in Dopesick Nation, I realized that I couldn’t take care of others until I took care of myself.

    Eighteen months later, I miss social work and helping people. I hope to one day return to the profession, but in the meantime I’m using writing as a means to fight the stigma of addiction and shame of relapse. The reality is that relapse rates vary between 50 to 90%, and even treatment professionals are not immune to the realities of addiction. My hope is that one day more helping professionals like me can come out about their relapses and be commended for our honesty.

    What are your thoughts on Dopesick Nation and Frankie and Allie? How should people who work in addiction treatment make sure they’re taking care of their own recovery? Let us know in the comments.

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • Real Housewives of Recovery: Reality TV and Addiction

    Real Housewives of Recovery: Reality TV and Addiction

    It is no secret that alcohol is readily available on set while filming these shows to grease the wheels of conflict, and not everyone who drinks alcohol misuses it.

    When I got sober, I started watching reality television like it was my job. The mindless escapism helped me fill the stretch of evening hours that I would have otherwise spent at a bar or at home with bottles of wine. I had my go-tos: Real Housewives, Southern Charm, Teen Mom. I was content to enjoy the alcohol-fueled drama, the table-flipping, and the manufactured cat fights from the sober safety of my couch.

    But as drunken fights frequently become the central conflict between cast members—like the cake throwing incident on last season’s Real Housewives of New Jersey—I noticed a new storyline making its way into the shows: recovery. And lately, I’ve been able to find the whole life cycle of addiction and recovery on reality TV.

    But are these accurate and helpful portrayals of addiction and recovery?

    Dorinda Medley from Real Housewives of New York City slurs her way through dinners and ends the night in ashamed and guilty tears. Luann de Lesseps returned to the show this season fresh from rehab after a drunken arrest, but still keeps wine in her fridge. Kathryn Dennis of Southern Charm is most evolved: back from rehab, she lovingly mothers her young children, keeps her cool when faced with typical reality show-style attacks, and, most inspiringly, speaks honestly about her struggles with anxiety and depression.

    The appearance of these storylines in this kind of reality show is a new phenomenon. When Sonja Morgan of the Real Housewives of New York City quietly cut back on drinking, she casually mentioned that she was “trying something new,” in a blink-and-you-missed-it moment during a confessional. The drama factor in her storyline went down to nothing. She was calm, reasonable, collected; it all went mostly uncommented on by her castmates. As a recovering alcoholic, I was disappointed this wasn’t a point of discussion on the show, especially because taking a step back from alcohol was having such a positive effect on Morgan. Here was an opportunity to talk about the very real and negative effects of alcohol use disorder and emphasize the positives Morgan was experiencing as a result of abstaining, even if not entirely. 

    Jenelle Evans’ drug use in Teen Mom 2 was impossible to ignore because it was documented on camera for the show in 2013. But any recovery or treatment Evans may have had never made its way to the small screen. In recent seasons, her past drug use is never even acknowledged. Susanna, who asked that we only use her first name, is a 32-year-old public health and substance abuse professional in Denver, Colorado. Based on her knowledge of people in recovery from opioid addiction, she thinks it is “highly unlikely” Evans’ use disorder could go untreated. By not acknowledging her possible treatment, MTV paints an unrealistic picture of addiction and recovery. Susanna says that “as the viewer, we have no insight into [whether or not Evans is in recovery] since it is excluded from the story line. We therefore assume she is not addressing her substance use disorder.”

    Susanna also finds fault with how the ancillary characters dealing with addiction are represented on the franchise. Adam Lind, the father to former teen mom Chelsea DeBoer’s daughter Aubree, is never filmed. But the negative talk from on-air cast members surrounding his drug disorder, Susanna says, “only further stigmatizes addiction…and does little to raise awareness about substance use disorders.”

    Are shows like Celebrity Rehab and Intervention, where addiction and recovery is the focus, doing any better? Not according to Molly Smith, 24, in long-term recovery for alcohol use disorder. Smith used to watch the show Intervention but says that it had little impact on her getting help because she feels it presented a “narrow view of what addiction looks like.” It was so narrow, she said, that “Years later, when I began struggling with substance use, I had a hard time recognizing that I had a problem because I didn’t fit the narrative I witnessed on that show.”

    The homogeneous representation of addiction Smith saw is likely due to the selection process of shows like Intervention. People familiar with the casting (who have asked to remain anonymous) speak of a thorough vetting process to ensure that the treatment the show is offering is the right fit for the individual, and that being filmed (and other show-related variables) won’t interfere with their ability to successfully participate in that treatment. The storylines appear to have a lot in common because the people involved all meet the same specific criteria. Other viewers have reported seeking help after recognizing themselves in the people featured in these shows. And, unlike a lot of other reality television vehicles, the behind-the-scenes goal of these shows is successful treatment, not drunk drama. 

    When Kathryn Dennis of Southern Charm met the much older Thomas Ravenel, there was plenty of drunken drama between the two of them as well as between Dennis and her other castmates. She is now the mother of two and has completed multiple stints in rehab. In the recently-completed fifth season of the show, Dennis is sober and drama-free. In fact, Dennis was doing so well that she felt like she didn’t need her depression-treating medication anymore. But when she stopped taking her meds for a week, she ended up missing in action, to her castmates’ great concern. After resurfacing, she opened up to them about her struggles with depression. 

    Dianna Jaynes, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Eagle Rock, California, whose patients include people in recovery from drug and alcohol use disorder says that there is “evidence of [Dennis’s] recovery through her behavior.” This is unlike Luann de Lesseps, where real recovery “is not being portrayed at all.” 

    The arrest and widely-viewed police video last year of a combative and intoxicated de Lesseps forced the conversation about sobriety into her storyline as she returned to the show from rehab. As she told People magazine last month: “This was a warning….I’m grateful to the universe for making me change my life.”

    But her recent return to rehab suggests that Jaynes may have been right: perhaps de Lesseps wasn’t fully committed to recovery. Unlike with Kathryn Dennis, “we haven’t had the gift of time with Luann.”

    This season of Real Housewives of New York City ended with a very poignant argument between Medley and de Lesseps that perfectly encapsulates the bizarreness of this pseudo-reality world, where a sober de Lesseps suggests to a drunk Medley that she is “turning,” as in, having too much to drink and going to the dark side. Medley explodes and the rift between them continues for the remaining four episodes. Medley continues to dig in her heels to the point of ridiculousness. She has even claimed on the recently aired reunion episode of the show, which de Lesseps could not attend because had re-entered rehab, that she wasn’t drunk on the night of the fight with de Lesseps. The other castmates float in and out, at times willing to call Medley on her problem but in the next breath saying that no one on the show has an issue and they all drink a little too much sometimes.

    It is no secret that alcohol is readily available on set while filming these shows to grease the wheels of conflict, and not everyone who drinks alcohol misuses it. But in cases like Medley’s, where there clearly is a problem that she’s unwilling to face, these programs have as much opportunity to direct the narrative towards reducing the stigma as they do to incite drama. As one viewer in Denver, Colorado points out, the cast members on these shows have huge social media followings with “influential platforms that could be used for good to promote recovery.”

    Dorri Olds, 56, is a writer who began using at age 11 and whose idols included Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin, both stars who died of drug overdoses. She has been in recovery for 30 years, and thinks that recovery in reality television is a good thing. A former viewer of Celebrity Rehab, Olds has wondered, “what if somebody back then that I looked up to…had gone into recovery?” Olds also points out that “when you’re really that low, and you want to get high, I don’t think anybody’s going to stop you.”

    I agree with Molly Smith, who thinks “it is crucial to see more people in recovery on television, but their stories need to be shared in a multidimensional way to break stigma.” The more the stories are shown, in all of their various stages and forms of recovery, the more recognizable they will become to those who need it the most.

    View the original article at thefix.com