Answer Addiction

Author: The Fix

  • Deeper Cleaning: How I Came to Accept My Mother’s Hoarding Disorder

    Deeper Cleaning: How I Came to Accept My Mother’s Hoarding Disorder

    About 50% of all hoarders have blocked access to their fridge, bathtub, toilet and sinks. 78% have houses littered with what could be deemed garbage. My chances of finding a spot to sleep were next to nil.

    For the second time in my life I was saying goodbye to my mother and moving to California, and this could have been a very sentimental moment if it we hadn’t found it so damn funny. With all of my worldly possessions packed up into two great Jenga towers of luggage, Mom and I were doing our best to control the fits of laughter while maneuvering these teetering carts of death toward the terminal. It was the irony that had finally gotten to us. There we were—wrestling with this stuff that could at any second escape our control and come toppling down on top of us—when for the past two months we had been living through a very similar scenario; but one that had been nowhere near as funny.

    And one where my mother’s life had been quite seriously at risk.

    My mom suffers from a clinical hoarding disorder. According to a recent survey by the National Alliance of Mental Illness (NAMI), about 5% of our entire planet’s population struggles with this condition typically characterized by the cluttering of a home with personal possessions to an often debilitating degree. A type of anxiety disorder, hoarding is still working its way into the medical books, but thanks to a steady stream of reality TV shows featuring the worst case scenarios of the condition, social awareness of hoarding has reached an all-time high.

    These were the shows that I YouTubed as I tried to better gauge the house that I had walked in on during a surprise visit to Mom’s. Compared to the episodes I watched, my mother and her hoard weren’t ready for primetime just yet—though at the rate she was going, next season was quickly becoming a strong possibility.

    Mom had turned her two bedroom, single level ranch style house of around 1,400 square feet into a storage unit, filling it up with everything from groceries on clearance to thrift store finds too good to let go. As toys, crafts, books, tools, plants, snacks, clothes, shoes, bags and boxes slowly rose to the ceiling, my mother’s home began to look like the bottom of an hourglass, only the sand was her stuff—and once filled up there’d be no easy reset.

    Once her cover was blown, so to speak, she felt the time had come to not only admit she had a serious problem but to finally accept some help dealing with it. And as fate would have it, Mom’s epiphany just happened to coincide with a major shift in my own life. After 15 years of working through my own addiction (drugs and alcohol) I was moving back to California, clean and sober. But, since there was a two-month gap between the lapse of my lease and the end of my teaching year, I just happened to need a place to live.

    So we came up with a plan.

    I would spend those final two months living at Mom’s house, helping her get the clutter under control. At the same time, we would go scouting for some professional help, agreeing that therapy to address the hoarding was in Mom’s best interest. We had a plan: by the time I left Connecticut, Mom would have regained a sturdy foothold on the road to recovery and I could move away, assured that I had done my part in helping.

    And it worked, too. Until it didn’t.

    In that previously mentioned survey by NAMI, about 50% of all hoarders have blocked access to their fridge, bathtub, toilet and sinks. 78% have houses littered with what could be deemed garbage. My chances of finding a spot to sleep were next to nil, though the toilet wasn’t too tough to get to. A garage sale seemed like the perfect solution for opening up some much needed space. Plus, instead of just throwing things out (and to be fair, a lot of Mom’s stuff did have some value) this would give my mother and me an opportunity to really start working together as a team, as opposed to simply strangling one another—which started to have its own appeal once we realized what we were up against.

    Hoarding is a disease based very much on feelings. Boston University Dean and Professor Gail Steketee LCSW, MSW, PhD, who has been studying the condition since the mid-1990’s concluded that “Hoarding may induce feelings of safety and security and may reinforce identity.”

    In other words, Mom’s things helped her feel safe.

    Her stuff was in many ways who she was.

    So emotions began to run high as we debated on what in the house could be sold. At first we were able to work for just a few hours before Mom had to quit, visibly shaken, promising better endurance for the next attempt. Sometimes a span of days would pass where no progress was made at all. Because my mother had the final say on every item’s fate, during these times of indecision there was little more for me to do than just sort through the piles. This part of the process was most challenging for me.

    Finding myself truly face to face with my mother’s disorder, I often spiraled into great bouts of anger and deep depression. Getting lost in the work for hours, I would start dissecting a section of the hoard, piece by frustrating piece, trying to make sense of it. It was during these times that I began to realize my mother was in the grips of a very serious and complex mental illness.

    Hoarding has been listed as a symptom of OCD for years. As defined by the Mayo Clinic, people who have obsessive compulsive disorder experience unwanted thoughts that incline them to perform an action repetitively—usually outside of their control—in hopes of alleviating stress, when in actuality the behavior is only compounding the discomfort.

    Did this explain the bags upon bags of clearance items and price-reduced canned goods? The gathered pile of expired and stale holiday candy? The drawers of zip ties, rubber bands and Tupperware lids. That infuriating metropolis of 7 Eleven cups always collapsing off the microwave. The balls of yarn, rolls of fabric, reams of paper, baskets of shoes. Bed sheets, power cords, energy drinks, sun catchers. Nesting shelves, cleaning fluids, shampoos and conditioners. Paper plates, napkins, condiments—bags of them. If I was disturbed while sorting them, I had to imagine what it must’ve felt like to always need more of them.

    But what I really needed was to seek out that professional help Mom had agreed to from the beginning. In addition to the increasingly alarming nature of the collected stuff, according to a report by Compulsive-Hoarding.com, “A hoarder’s problem will not be solved by someone else throwing away or organizing their possessions.”

    Another invaluable online resource, HoardingCleanup.Com, offered an impressive roster of psychiatrists and psychologists dealing specifically with the disorder. Fortunately, we found a local doctor with whom Mom felt comfortable with right off the bat.

    Then, suddenly, positive results were coming in from every front.

    Once the garage sales got started, they quickly gained momentum and we were setting up the driveway with Mom’s wares every Friday through Sunday. So by the time my departure date rolled around we had become old pros—and one hell of a team. There was nothing at the airport but sincere gratitude and a shared sense of accomplishment. We had done it! We’d beaten the monkey off of Mom’s back, shoved it in a box and sold it in front of the house for a dollar.

    No, fifty cents!

    Seventy-five!

    Okay, seventy-five, sold!

    Over the following months, as I worked on getting my own home together, I would check in with Mom to see how things were coming along. She continued with the garage sales until the weather no longer agreed. The therapy continued unabated. Her psychiatrist was big on baby steps, discouraging Mom from taking on too much at once. Instead, the piles were shrinking through consistency and perseverance, my mother showing him photos from week to week. Also, my father was visiting the house regularly so he was able to give me a report every now and again. 

    According to an article in Psychology Today, “willful ignorance” occurs when a person knows the truth, or at least fears it, but chooses to ignore it altogether. Turning a blind eye was an especially easy behavior for me to indulge in from 3,000 miles away, so I was flabbergasted when one night my father called and told me that Mom’s house had reverted to its previous state of congested disarray and that her hoarding was back with a vengeance.

    What an awful moment of deja vu. Were we really right back to where we had started, just like that?

    Though my 12-step meetings and sponsor helped calmed me down with some much needed perspective, for the first time in recovery I found myself resenting the solution that was being offered—which was, as always, acceptance. “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,” blah blah blah.

    No.

    I refused to accept it. I would not sit idly by while my mother sat on the one spot she had left on her sofa, watching a TV she had to crane her neck around piles of junk to see—the same piles that were slowly but surely burying her alive. Somebody had to take charge of this mess. Who was responsible? I blamed her, her doctor, my father, myself. I blamed thrift stores, dollar stores, America, God.

    What went wrong? How could Mom go back to hoarding after such encouraging progress? This had been the strongest attempt at complete recovery from her disorder so far.

    There was a night I called Mom up ranting and raving, horrendously demanding to know exactly what was the problem—and her timid response to me, plain and simple was:

    “It’s hard.”

    That was a mouthful. And it’s actually the one thing all the research and professionals in the field agree on. Recovery from hoarding is incredibly difficult. The statistics tell us it’s downright unlikely. A study conducted by the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry on patients with various forms of OCD, including hoarding, found that after five years only 9.5% of hoarders achieved and maintained full recovery from their condition.

    But then this begs the bigger issue—and it’s where my eyes opened.

    When we’re looking at recovery from hoarding, are we also looking at recovery from OCD? This experience showed me that my mother isn’t just struggling against shopping and filling her house up with stuff—but she’s battling an obsessive-compulsive disorder. Unlike my substance abuse where complete abstinence from drugs and alcohol is the solution (though of course there’s lots more to it), my mother is dealing with a behavioral disorder. And when it comes to long lasting recovery, therapy continues to be the key.

    Compulsive-Hoarding.com told me that if a hoarder’s space is just cleaned out, “The clinical compulsive hoarder will simply re-hoard even faster and fill up their home again, often within a few months.” However, that NAMI survey showed that as much as 70% of hoarders responded positively to cognitive therapy.

    So Mom is on the right track.

    It’s just that the odds are not in her favor.

    But so far she’s beaten a lot of those odds, hasn’t she? My mother’s already admitted to having a problem when NAMI reports that only about 15% of all hoarders do so. And she’s in therapy where her recovery has the highest likelihood of success. How many attempts will it take before Mom finds long term recovery? Nobody knows.

    All I know is that recovery from hoarding seems to be an inside job and that’s the stuff that really needs to be worked through. Once I accepted that about my mother and her hoarding condition I knew the best thing to do was leave that work to her.

    Find info about hoarding here:

    https://namimass.org/hoarding-and-ocd-stats-characteristics-causes-treatment-and-resources

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • Does Teen Drinking Affect Metabolism?

    Does Teen Drinking Affect Metabolism?

    A recent study examined how underage drinking affected the metabolism of teens ages 13 to 17.

    In addition to it being illegal, underage drinkers now have another reason to refrain from drinking alcohol, as a recent study has determined that teenage alcohol use can negatively impact metabolism. 

    The study was based on a previous study done by the same team of researchers at the University of Eastern Finland, which found that drinking may decrease gray matter volume in teenagers’ brains. Researchers believe the decrease in gray matter and negative impact on metabolism may be connected. 

    “Despite [the participants’] alcohol use being ‘normal,’ their metabonomic profile and brain gray matter volumes differed from those in the light-drinking participant group,” Noora Heikkinen, a researcher from the University of Eastern Finland’s Institute of Clinical Medicine, told Newsweek.

    The recent study was published in the journal Alcohol and was a followup to a study in which data was collected on teens between the ages of 13 and 17 in eastern Finland. 

    The original data was collected between 2004 and 2005. At that time, the teens completed questionnaires about their hobbies, family life, lifestyle and substance use.

    Additionally, they took a test created by the World Health Organization which is designed to identify alcohol use disorders. Some of the questions had to do with how much alcohol they drank on a typical day of drinking and how often they consumed more than six drinks at a time.

    For the recent study, which was done between 2013 and 2015, researchers recruited 40 moderate-to-heavy drinkers and 40 light drinkers. The light drinkers had scored a maximum of two on the World Health Organization test, which meant they drank two to four times monthly.

    Moderate-to-heavy drinkers were those who had a score of four or more for males, or three or more for females. This meant drinking two to three or four or more times weekly.

    With those participants, researchers measured metabolism and the volume of gray matter in the brain.

    In doing so, researchers found that the moderate-to-heavy drinkers had undergone changes in their amino acids and how their energy was processed, when compared to the lighter drinkers. In heavy drinkers, there was also an increase in 1-methylhistamine levels, a substance connected to the amount of gray matter in the brain. 

    Heikkinen tells Newsweek that based on the findings, researchers believe histamine production rises in the brains of adolescents who drink heavily. 

    “This observation can help in the development of methods that make it possible to detect adverse effects caused by alcohol at a very early stage,” she said. “Possibly, it could also contribute to the development of new treatments to mitigate these adverse effects.”

    Heikkinen also added that some of the damage may be reversible if drinking is cut back. 

    “There is evidence that at least some of the changes are reversible if the heavy drinking is discontinued,” she told Newsweek. “Therefore all hope is not lost for those who have had their share of parties and binge drinking in the twenties. However, if the heavy drinking is continued for decades, there is a real chance that irreversible brain atrophy will result.”

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • Chronic Pain Patients Feel The Effects Of Arizona Opioid Legislation

    Chronic Pain Patients Feel The Effects Of Arizona Opioid Legislation

    “They told me because of the new law they had to cut me back. It just hurts, I don’t want to walk, I don’t want to… pretty much don’t want to do anything,” said one pain patient.

    New bipartisan legislation curbing the pharmaceutical use of opioids in Arizona has been put into action. In January, Arizona Governor Doug Ducey signed the Arizona Opioid Epidemic Act, calling it “vital to combat an epidemic felt statewide and across the nation,” according to Reuters.

    However, some chronic pain patients in Arizona are already feeling harmful effects as the law is put into place. NPR reported that although the act was not written around the issues of chronic pain patients, it negatively impacts them, as doctors who are worried about legal trouble curb their patients’ access to the pain-relieving drugs.

    Governor Ducey’s administration had stated that the law would “maintain access for chronic pain sufferers and others who rely on these drugs.”

    This is mostly true: restrictions are written to apply to new patients only. Some were exempted, such as cancer and trauma patients, and patients in end-of-life care.

    However, in practice, some Arizona doctors are pulling back hard on prescribing opioids for all of their patients.

    Dr. Julian Grove, president of the Arizona Pain Society and contributor to the act told NPR that, “A lot of practitioners are reducing opioid medications, not from a clinical perspective, but more from a legal and regulatory perspective for fear of investigation. No practitioner wants to be the highest prescriber.”

    Shannon Hubbard, Arizona resident and chronic pain sufferer (she has a condition called complex regional pain syndrome) had her opioid pain relievers reduced by 10 mg in April. “They told me because of the new Arizona law they had to cut me back,” she told NPR, saying that her pain was now terrible. “It just hurts, I don’t want to walk, I don’t want to… pretty much don’t want to do anything.”

    The legislation created regulations around opioid use, citing that 75% of those addicted to heroin began their use with an opioid prescription. The act includes a limited initial opioid prescription of five days, and for certain extremely addictive painkillers, set a maximum 30-day prescription.

    The law includes $10 million to be spent treating people with opioid addiction who are not insured and ineligible for Medicaid. The “Good Samaritan” provision allows immunity for those reporting an overdose.

    Dr. Cara Christ, head of Arizona’s Department of Health Services and contributor to the state’s opioid response laws, told NPR, “The intent was never to stop prescribers from utilizing opioids. It’s really meant to prevent a future generation from developing opioid use disorder, while not impacting current chronic pain patients.”

    Still, Shannon Hubbard is living with the effects of the law, and not the intentions.

    “What they are doing is not working,” she told NPR. “They are having no effect on the guy who is on the street shooting heroin and is really in danger of overdosing. Instead they are hurting people that are actually helped by the drugs.”

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • Are Dentists Still Overprescribing Opioids?

    Are Dentists Still Overprescribing Opioids?

    A new study examined the opioid prescription patterns of dentists who care for patients with private insurance. 

    While dentists have been writing a declining number of opioid prescriptions in the past few years, two new studies indicate that there still may be reason for dental professionals to take precautions when prescribing. 

    According to PEW Trusts, one such study published in the Journal of the American Dental Association in April examined the prescribing patterns among dentists who tended to privately insured patients. From 2010 to 2015, opioid prescriptions per 1,000 patients increased from 131 to 147, study authors found. 

    “The fact that we’re still prescribing opioids when we’ve demonstrated that nonsteroidals are as effective most of the time is a little disturbing,” Dr. Paul Moore, co-author of the analysis and professor at the University of Pittsburgh’s dental school, told Modern Health Care.

    The study found that the biggest increase—about 66%—was in those ages 11 to 18. The study also noted that for all age groups, almost one-third of the opioid prescriptions written were for visits that were not surgical in nature, for which study authors state non-opioids could also be effective for pain.

    According to Modern Health Care, an analysis of five studies in the Journal of the American Dental Association found that nonsteroidal anti-inflammation drugs like ibuprofen are effective for dental pain.

    The second study was published at the same time in the same journal, and examined outpatient care for Medicaid patients. Researchers found that from 2013 to 2015, nearly 25% of those patients filled a prescription for opioids. They also discovered that emergency department providers were more likely to give opioids to patients with dental issues.

    The study found that 38% of patients who sought care in an emergency department then filled an opioid prescription in comparison to 11% of those who went to the dentist.

    “Dentists are providing substantially less opioid prescriptions compared to their medical colleagues for pain treatment following a dental diagnosis in the Medicaid population,” study authors wrote. “When considering pain management for dental and related conditions, dentists should continue with conservative prescribing practices as recommended.”

    According to PEW Trusts, the results of the study come at a good time, as the American Dental Association recently released an interim policy on prescribing opioids.

    The policy lays out a number of guidelines for providers to follow and encourages continuing education about opioid use for dentists. It also states that dentists should follow the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) guidelines about dosage and length of opioid prescriptions.

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • Jar Jar Binks Actor Reveals How "Star Wars" Backlash Affected His Mental Health

    Jar Jar Binks Actor Reveals How "Star Wars" Backlash Affected His Mental Health

    Ahmed Best made a surprising revelation on Twitter about how the Star Wars fandom’s response to his character led him to a dark place emotionally.

    When The Phantom Menace—the long-awaited Star Wars prequel—was released in 1999, a lot of fans were very disappointed, to say the least. And part of that disappointment was unleashed on the character of Jar Jar Binks.

    The internet trolling on the character was so severe that, Ahmed Best, the actor who played Jar Jar, even thought of suicide.

    Right as Episode One was being released, the internet and viral marketing were just starting to take off, and with countless trolls finding a new, and very public, way to unleash their venom, the character of Jar Jar got completely hammered.

    As Best told Wired, he had a hard time coming to terms with the backlash, as well as the fact that he was universally hated, while at the same time he was also mostly anonymous to the world without his CGI alien character.

    “It’s really difficult to articulate the feeling,” Best said. “You feel like a success and a failure at the exact same time. I was starting at the end of my career before it started… I had death threats through the internet. I had people come to me and say, ‘You destroyed my childhood.’ That’s difficult for a 25-year-old to hear.”

    On July 3, Best posted a photograph of himself and his young son overlooking a harbor on Twitter. “20 years next year I faced a media backlash that still affects my career today,” he wrote. “This was the place I almost ended my life. It’s still hard to talk about. I survived and now this little guy is my gift for survival.”

    Best’s candid revelation got a much different reaction from the net than his character Jar Jar did two decades ago. Frank Oz, the famed Muppet puppeteer who famously brought Yoda to life, told Best on Twitter, “I LOVED Jar Jar Binks. “I know I’ll get raked over the coals for saying that, but I just will never understand the harshness of people’s dislike of him. I do character work. He’s a GREAT character! Okay. Go ahead. Shoot. Gimme all ya got – but you’ll never make me change my mind.”

    Best’s confession comes on the heels of Kelly Marie Tran—who played the lambasted character of Rose Tico in The Last Jedi—leaving social media after being excessively cyberbullied as well.

    In her defense, Jedi director Rian Johnson tweeted, “Done with this disingenuous bullshit. You know the difference between not liking a movie and hatefully harassing a woman so bad she has to get off social media. And you know which of those two we’re talking about here.”

    If you or someone you know may be at risk for suicide, immediately seek help. Call the U.S. National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 800-273-TALK (8225).

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • Kat Von D Celebrates 11 Years Of Sobriety

    Kat Von D Celebrates 11 Years Of Sobriety

    The Los Angeles-based tattoo artist took to social media to celebrate her sober anniversary.

    Tattoo artist Kat Von D celebrated over a decade sober by sharing her milestone on social media.

    “Today, I celebrate 11 years of sobriety,” she wrote across Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. “Every year I look forward to posting about my sober anniversary, in the hopes that someone out there in need of a way out from addiction might see this, and realize that you’re not alone. Sending you extra love today.”

    The Los Angeles-based tattoo artist, famous for appearing on Miami Ink and then her own show LA Ink, is vocal about her sobriety. She hopes that by putting herself out there, she can show that recovery is possible.

    “If anybody out there feels that they relate to me in any capacity and happen to be struggling, perhaps I can lead by example by showing that if I can do it, you can do it too,” she told The Fix in 2016. It’s her way of being of service.

    Here’s what she’s said about sobriety in past Fix interviews.

    Becoming sober in the limelight

    “I am grateful that I was on TV during the tail end of my drinking; the first season of LA Ink. I am glad that happened and that it was public because it shows people that you can change.”

    Change is possible

    “I definitely was a mess, but as human beings, we are all capable of change. We need to give ourselves that credit. I don’t look at a drug addict or somebody who has a drinking problem as hopeless. I believe everybody can evolve and find their path.”

    On creativity 

    “One of the biggest reasons for me to stop drinking was to preserve and protect my art… More than just having the chemical addiction, I was addicted to dysfunction. A lot of musicians and writers and poets from back in the day until now have used dysfunction as a muse. I don’t want to be that person anymore.”

    What it means to be sober

    “Looking back at my wild drinking days, I really never imagined that I would be excited about being sober. When you are on the other side of things, you have such a profoundly different perspective on life… Personally, being sober means that I operate better and I function better; I believe I am meant to be that way.”

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • Do AA's Promises Come True?

    Do AA's Promises Come True?

    After completing the 12 steps, a long-time member of AA shares his experience of the 9th step promises.

    Russell Brand recently released his own creative interpretation of AA’s Twelve Steps. As a recovering alcoholic myself (since 12/30/1983), I admire how he captures the essence of the program, while still more or less respecting its tradition of anonymity. I’ve decided to respond to Brand’s piece by writing a bit about the Twelve Promises—which are less known outside of AA than the Twelve Steps or Twelve Traditions. We call these the Ninth Step Promises, because they’re linked with the Ninth Step on page 83 of the Big Book. They’re the pot of gold awaiting us—trite as that might seem—and we read them aloud at the ends of meetings. On the eve of 34 years of continuous sobriety, I’m in a good position to comment on these Promises . . . Do they actually come true?

    1. If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are halfway through.

    I sobered up in my home town of Columbia, Missouri. I followed suggestions, and spent much of my first year on working with a sponsor. I was poorer then than I’d ever been, living in a halfway house, but it was a happy time. Working on the Eighth and Ninth Steps, I acknowledged the harm I’d done to others, and prepared to make amends. The first one I owed was to Jerry, my former employer, co-owner of a traditional pool hall that still serves the finest cheeseburgers I’ve ever eaten. I’d worked there for two years, during my heaviest drinking. Because of my increasingly disheveled behavior, Jerry had let me go, and we hadn’t spoken since. I still owed him a considerable debt, mostly for booze and food. After writing down all of this, to the best of my recollection, I called Jerry for an appointment. One afternoon, in early 1984, we sat down together over coffee in the back of Booche’s. I took a deep breath, then began to lay my cards on the table. I explained what I thought I owed, apologized for my dishonesty, and asked how I could make restitution. There was a long silence. Something within him—caution or suspicion—visibly melted at my offer. Then he shook his head.

    “I don’t want your money,” he said.

    “I know,” I said. “But I’d like to pay my debt.”

    Jerry left for a moment, and went and spoke quietly with a co-owner in the front. After a minute, he returned and said firmly: “Just your business. We just want your business, Mike.”

    I nodded. Jerry had made his decision. We looked each other straight in the eye and shook on it. And I still eat at Booche’s when I’m back in Missouri, and have through all these years. Jerry and I are still friends to this day. And each amend since then has only brought relief and freedom.

    1. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.

    Early recovery is a little like those movies in which an angel or alien falls to earth, then falls in love with it. Sensations are intense, especially the strange, new feeling of belonging in the rooms. As a result of “our common bond,” AA is like Switzerland: it’s the one place where the differences between people don’t pertain. Some use the word “God”; some don’t. Meetings veer from tears to sidesplitting laughter. There’s a characteristic zaniness (not unlike Russell Brand’s), along with immediate connection. AA is virtually everywhere, and I usually take in a meeting whenever I’m away. As soon as I am settled in my seat, the self’s deceptions drift away like dandelion floaties—along with whatever weight I carried with me into the room.

    1. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.

    Many of us call ourselves “grateful alcoholics”—which might not be an easy concept to grasp unless you are one. We’re grateful for life itself, for sobriety’s staggering, unexpected gifts, and for every step of the path that has led us here. Shutting the door on the past is not what we’re about. For one thing, it’s our experience, strength, and hope—rather than wisdom or knowledge—that makes us valuable to newcomers.

    1. We will comprehend the word serenity, and we will know peace.

    AA is a plan for creating integration out of disintegration. Serenity is simply a by-product. I didn’t know this when I came in, and frankly, I couldn’t have cared less. I just wanted the pain to stop. But once I was actually sober—and trying to face the character issues I’d chronically masked with alcohol—I craved it. I said the Serenity Prayer to myself 50 times a day. Sometimes I still do. The Fourth Promise doesn’t claim we will have peace; only that we will know it.

    1. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.

    Straight out of treatment in Missouri, I lucked into finding a solid, hard-core sponsor. I did most of my step work sitting in Gene’s Chevy pickup, and everything went as well as could be hoped. But when I got to my Fourth Step inventories, I couldn’t figure out why he seemed so unimpressed with my writing. I was a creative writing major, after all!

    But an AA sponsor is not a writing professor, and a sponsor is also nothing like the judges and shrinks and counselors I’d been bullshitting for years. Gene scanned my first inventory with a leathery grimace, then abruptly turned and spat a long stream of tobacco juice through the open window.

    At first, it cut me to the quick how easily he saw through me. That night I thought: fine. I’ll show you, and I’ll show AA! I wrote out my darkest secrets (except for one, which I’d carry for 30 years), in rough list form. A couple of days later, at our regular meeting, I showed him my list. By then, my anger had given way to anxiety, and I expected the worst. I sat in silence and tried not to watch as he was reading.

    Gene showed no emotion. Not one flicker. After a minute, he rolled down the window, spat, and then drawled: “that it?” Then he just smiled through his ravaged face. Suddenly, I saw that neither of us was better nor worse than the other. In all the years since then, whenever I serve as a sponsor, Gene is my template.

    1. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
    2. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
    3. Self-seeking will slip away.

    Here are some suggestions: 90 meetings in 90 days; find a sponsor; join a home group; get a service position; read and meditate and pray; work the steps; and help others. Here are some results: we stay sober; character defects lose their hold; self-centeredness no longer defines us; we don’t feel useless anymore, because we aren’t; and the Promises come true.

    1. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
    2. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.

    One of Gene’s favorite sayings was: “sober up a horse thief, and what have you got? A sober horse thief!” Then he’d guffaw. I loved him for that, even though I didn’t really get his humor at the time . . . But it does seem impossible at first for an alcoholic to change enough, through such simple and wholesome means, to make much of a difference in our lives. What practicing alcoholics need—not only to survive but to flourish—is a complete and profound psychic transformation. Lucky for us, that’s exactly what the Twelve Steps are designed to do for us, and not only once but every day, as long as we live in the solution.

    1. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
    2. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

    We typically finish upbeat, but I’m ending with two tragic losses. The first was that of Tom McAfee, my undergraduate poetry professor at the University of Missouri. Tom was a brilliant, charismatic writer—and late-stage alcoholic—who died in 1982, at the age of 54. I’d been Tom’s bartender and best friend at the old downtown hotel where he lived much of his life, and also later at Booche’s. Tom was always shaky and frail, but overnight, his health tanked. It took weeks before a couple of us were able to move him to the hospital, and then it was revealed that he had lung cancer. I looked after Tom as best I could through this whole period. But his terror and delirium at the end—as he lay dying of cancer while going through alcoholic seizures—was more than I could bear. One afternoon on a three-day bender, I stumbled into the hotel bar. Someone remarked to me that Tom had died. When had I last seen him? I couldn’t quite remember. That’s when my drinking began in earnest. I’d failed my friend when he needed me most. I couldn’t forgive myself.

    The second loss was that of Jackie, my first wife. (Although we didn’t formally marry for many years.) In 1988, Jackie and I were both midway through our PhD’s at the University of Utah, when she discovered the lump. We both took leave, and went back to Missouri for surgeries, reconstruction, and many rounds of chemotherapy and radiotherapy. We kept our hopes up, and after a year the cancer seemed to be in remission. I went back to resume my studies at Utah. Jackie, slightly ahead of me, was back at it, and managed to land a great job at the University of Texas. She was happily teaching there the following year when the cancer came back. I took leave again, and moved to Austin. Shortly afterward, I proposed—and a few days later, we got married at the courthouse. It was exquisite. And through the next year and a half, I never left her side. Jackie endured treatments first in Austin, and then back home in Missouri, where our strategy shifted from cure to comfort. Paradoxically, in the weeks leading to her final struggle in 1991, there were many hours of intense joy. Spontaneous, childish, connected-at-the-hip gleefulness . . . Often, the exact same thought appeared simultaneously in both minds. It was the deepest intimacy I’ve ever known.

    Jackie’s last words were: “I love you.”

    As devastating as it was to see such a beautiful soul taken before she’d hit her stride, her death was triumphant, too. Even through her worst days, death never got the best of her.

    I went back to Utah, finished my PhD in 1993, and started my professional life—steady then, resolved.

    Just after the founding of AA in 1939, many sober alcoholics were sent into battle in WW2. As related in the Big Book, this was AA’s “first major test.” Would they stay sober far from their meetings? Against all expectations, they did. They had fewer lapses “than A.A.’s safe at home did . . . Whether in Alaska or on the Salerno beachhead, their dependence upon a Higher Power worked.” I had a related revelation after Jackie died. I realized that I could go through anything sober. That now I was spiritually fit enough to show up for “life on life’s terms.”

    Along with the Promises, there’s a playful call-and-response that we include. It seems to be a rhetorical question: “Are these extravagant promises?”

    And the entire group answers: “We think not!”

    And on that note, the reading concludes: “They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.”

    There’s usually then a closing prayer. And after that, we fold our chairs, and return to the lives that AA has given us.

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • Massachusetts Sues Purdue Pharma Over Opioid Crisis

    Massachusetts Sues Purdue Pharma Over Opioid Crisis

    Sixteen individuals are named in the lawsuit, including a few members of the Sackler family.

    The state of Massachusetts is suing 16 current and former Purdue Pharma board members and executives for their alleged role in the continuing opioid crisis.

    Massachusetts Attorney General Maura Healey says this is the first lawsuit brought on by a state that directly names executives and directors in connection with opioid-related deaths. 

    The BBC reports that Judy Lewent, a non-executive director of GlaxoSmithKline, is named in the charges for her involvement with the board of Purdue Pharma until 2014.

    Lewent currently serves as a director in GlaxoSmithKline (GSK), one of the six largest British pharmaceutical companies. In 2012, GSK pleaded guilty to promotion of drugs for unapproved uses, failure to report safety data, and kickbacks to physicians in the United States. The company was sentenced to pay a $3 billion settlement—the largest settlement for a drug company at that time.

    Sixteen individuals are named in the Massachusetts lawsuit, including a few members of the Sackler family.

    Purdue Pharma is owned by the descendants of Raymond and Mortimer Sackler who earned their fortune off of the drug OxyContin, which their company, Purdue Pharma, still produces.

    The Massachusetts lawsuit claims that Purdue Pharma “created the [opioid] epidemic and profited from it through a web of illegal deceit.”

    Judy Lewent was tagged as one “who oversaw and engaged in a deadly, deceptive scheme to sell opioids in Massachusetts.”

    AG Healey addressed the lawsuit in a press conference, “We found that Purdue misled doctors, patients, and the public about the real risks of their dangerous opioids, including OxyContin. Their strategy was simple: The more drugs they sold, the more money they made—and the more people died.” 

    Purdue Pharma “vigorously denies the allegations,” while GlaxoSmithKline declined to “comment on legal matters faced by another company,” according to the BBC.

    Purdue told the BBC, “The Attorney General claims Purdue acted improperly by communicating with prescribers about scientific and medical information that FDA (Food and Drug Administration) has expressly considered and continues to approve. We believe it is inappropriate for the Commonwealth [of Massachusetts] to substitute its judgment for the judgment of the regulatory, scientific and medical experts at FDA.”

    The company added that it shared “the Attorney General’s concern about the opioid crisis,” and that its “opioid medications account for less than 2% of total opioid prescriptions.”

    The state of Minnesota also recently filed a lawsuit against Purdue Pharma over the marketing of OxyContin.

    Purdue Pharma has recently stopped the marketing of opioid-based drugs in Canada, Westfair reported. Purdue already pulled marketing for these drugs in the U.S. back in February. Canada has asked drug companies to suspend marketing and advertising of opioid-based drugs.

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • Grieving Mothers Band Together To Support People In Recovery

    Grieving Mothers Band Together To Support People In Recovery

    “If we can save just one person, it’s worth it,” said one of the mothers in the Moms of Cherished Angels group.

    A group of grieving mothers are turning their losses into something positive.

    The Moms of Cherished Angels—a group of women who lost a child or family member to drugs—donate toothpaste, shampoo, other toiletries, and notebooks to people entering rehab across Pennsylvania.

    In each care package, they add a note telling their story.

    “We decided we wanted to do something to keep our children’s memories alive and help others suffering with this horrible disease,” said Judy Provanzo, whose son Michael died last August.

    Judy and her husband decided to address Michael’s drug use in his obituary: “We do not want his death to be in vain,” it read. “Michael did not want to be an addict. His demons were more than he could handle. Addiction is a disease and does not discriminate. Many loved ones did everything they could to get him to stop but the drugs won their battle.”

    After that, others who had lost loved ones to drugs reached out to Provanzo, and from there, the support group formed. The women meet every week. One member, who lost her daughter in 2016, called it a “sisterhood.”

    “Everybody is different and everybody grieves differently,” said Provanzo. “We get to different places in the process at different times. But if we didn’t have this every Tuesday, I’d be in a loony bin.”

    The support of others who are going through the same experience is invaluable to the grieving moms. “We understand one another. There are times we’ll say, ‘Did you get out of bed today?’” said Provanzo.

    In her note about Mikey, Provanzo wrote: “The day Mikey died a part of me and his father died with him. I’m sharing this with you in hopes it helps you along your journey. Mikey always thought he had his addiction under control and this wouldn’t happen to him. If you’re feeling like you want to give up, please think of Mikey and how my heart is breaking not having him. Remember you are loved and you can do this one day at a time.”

    The mothers honor the memory of their children and loved ones by supporting not only one another, but others in recovery.

    “If we can save just one person, it’s worth it,” said Kim Janeczek, who lost her 21-year-old son Matthew in 2017.

    In her care package note she wrote, “He had a heart of gold. He helped so many people in the short time he was here.”

    View the original article at thefix.com

  • "Sharp Objects" To End Episodes With Mental Health, Substance Abuse PSA

    "Sharp Objects" To End Episodes With Mental Health, Substance Abuse PSA

    The HBO limited series follows a reporter who struggles with self-harm and alcoholism while investigating a murder case.

    The HBO limited series Sharp Objects will feature a card at the conclusion of each episode that will provide information on help for those who may be experiencing issues of self-harm and/or substance abuse.

    The critically praised series, created by Marti Noxon (Dietland) and based on the novel by Gillian Flynn (Gone Girl), stars Amy Adams as a reporter who struggles with both conditions while investigating a murder case.

    As Deadline‘s coverage noted, the addition echoes the use of a similar title card on Netflix’s 13 Reasons Why.

    The card reads as follows:

    “If you or someone you know struggles with self-harm or substance abuse, please seek help by contacting the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) 1-800-662-HELP (4357).”

    In addition to the card, HBO has also set up a website with links to resources including SAMHSA and the National Alliance on Mental Illness.

    The series’ title alludes to Adams’ reporter, Camille Preaker, whose troubled childhood has manifested itself in adulthood through alcoholism and self-harm.

    The first episode opens shortly after her discharge from a psychiatric hospital, and over the course of the next seven episodes, Preaker will return to the hometown where her issues first took root, and which bloom anew as she becomes deeply involved in the murder of two girls there.

    As Deadline noted, the Netflix drama 13 Reasons Why, which focused on a teenager’s suicide, drew critical fire from members of the mental health community for what was regarded as graphic depictions of rape and suicide.

    The network added a disclaimer and PSA to the second season of the show that advised viewers about the subject matter and, as Vulture noted, even suggested that certain individuals should consider watching the program with a “trusted adult.” 13 Reasons Why is slated to return for its third season in 2019.

    In an interview with the Hollywood Reporter, author Gillian Flynn, who also serves as an executive producer for Sharp Objects, discussed the very personal reasons for tackling the subject of self-harm in the book and series.

    “I felt that misery of, like, ‘Why can’t anyone see how much pain I’m in?’ I wished I could bear witness somehow,” she said. I had these fantasies of being mangled—of showing how much pain I was in.”

    View the original article at thefix.com