AA encouraged me, a sauced snowflake loaded on liquor and individualistic narcissism, to put aside enough of myself to embrace two traits required to curb my alcoholism: discipline and structure.
Tag: fellowship
4 Important Reasons to "Keep Coming Back" to AA, Even When We Don't Need To
Don’t underestimate just how powerful your presence at a 12-step meeting can be for another person’s recovery. More than I care to admit, my usual 12-step meeting times will pop up on my calendar and I’ll think to myself, “Can I get away with skipping this one?” A lot of folks in the rooms will… Continue reading 4 Important Reasons to "Keep Coming Back" to AA, Even When We Don't Need To
AA's "How It Works" for Everyone
Women have had to endure a generic “He” for God all these years. I am not rewriting the Big Book. I am simply asking for a moment to honor my God as a She; for a moment of freedom to express my God as I understand God. After attending AA meetings for 12 years, I… Continue reading AA's "How It Works" for Everyone
7 Reasons Why I Thought AA Wasn't for "Someone Like Me"
By the end, as we stood in a circle holding hands, I thought: “This is a cult, right? This has to be a cult.” I remember the first meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous that I ever attended, about three years ago. I’ll be honest — I wasn’t the friendliest face at that meeting. I had a… Continue reading 7 Reasons Why I Thought AA Wasn't for "Someone Like Me"
The Most Important Person in the Room
There’s no need to worry about my career, or lack of intimate relationships, or future, or even quitting nicotine. I’m taking it easy, I’m in my first year of sobriety. Every time I relapse I forget I am not God. I am no longer able to allow the darkness to bloom into the grand external… Continue reading The Most Important Person in the Room
When the Obsession Isn’t Lifted
Before, when someone with 20 years would say “it’s still a day at a time,” I couldn’t really hear them. I do now. I was a typical low-bottom case. I was drunk most days, and a car wreck, an arrest, and a liver enzyme problem couldn’t pry me from my favorite thing to do. What… Continue reading When the Obsession Isn’t Lifted
I’m Open and Willing, Dear Sponsor, but Wait a Minute!
We know “our best thinking got us here,” but that doesn’t mean we need to be open and willing to take abuse or be manipulated. When you first came into the program, you might have heard your “best thinking got you here.” You’re told since your way hasn’t been working, maybe it’s time to try… Continue reading I’m Open and Willing, Dear Sponsor, but Wait a Minute!
True North and the Geographical Cure
What it was like then: misery that had me researching the methods and means of suicide in the middle of the night on my cell phone, back turned to my husband, who was fast asleep, and to my children, asleep between us. The geographical cure: false hope that a change in circumstance might transform us.… Continue reading True North and the Geographical Cure
Owning My Space as a Woman in 12-Step Programs
I am totally within my rights if I say no, you may not sit there, and no, I don’t want a hug and I don’t want a cup of coffee and just back the fuck off because I have mace in my purse. Several days after I took my last drink, I was detoxing at… Continue reading Owning My Space as a Woman in 12-Step Programs
